Sunday, December 13, 2009

Brighter days

I know my last few posts have been full of gloom and doom - and I'm really sorry that I "dumped" on all of you. I'm not nearly as depressed as I think those posts make me sound. I'm not a depressing person to be around and I hate that my last few posts (and a few spread throughout the blog) have been less than upbeat.

So - looking toward the new year and all the resolutions that go along with it - I'm going to strive to post positive things. That doesn't mean that I won't post the truth about Ron's health or that I won't have a down day here and there. That's virtually impossible to avoid for even the most stoic person. I'm not above having the occasional pity party. I'll do my best to avoid them, though.

I'm looking forward to Christmas. We didn't have much money to spend on people this year (not a whine; just a fact) and the number of people I needed to buy for has expanded with the addition of LeCole and her children into our household. I've got nothing except a knitted cap and a sock monkey for Kaitlyn, my newest little granddaughter, but I'm fortunate in the fact that Shaun and Jenny won't be here until New Year's eve so I can shop the after-Christmas sales to find her just the perfect gifts. Same with her big brother, Alexander. He's got a couple of toys and a sock monkey so if I find something else after Christmas that I think he'd love, I'll be able to pick it up.

I told my step-children that they didn't need to buy anything for us this year and that we were not going to be able to buy anything for anyone except the kids. They are fine with that and I'm glad. Shaun and Jenny, Amy and Rex, and Keith are getting a little something from us because they are who they are. LeCole has no one but us who will buy for her, so I included her in the list of "kids" I'm buying for. I like to continue to donate to organizations who provide presents to less fortunate children so that is where a fair portion of my holiday spending money was directed. I'm happy with that and so are my children. They know that sharing and giving to others is really important to me.

I'm really looking forward to the holidays. We'll have a full house on Christmas morning with Amy, Rex, Isaiah, LeCole, LeAuna, Devyn, Jason, Keith, Ron, and me. The kids will be in awe over the things that "Santa" mom (both Amy and LeCole) have left for them, as well as what the adults put together for them. (New Year's Day we'll do it all over again for Alexander and Kaitlyn, although she'll probably not care too much this year - but wait until next year when she's mobile and in to EVERYTHING!) After the discarding of the paper and the thrill of the hunt, we'll get ready to head to KC to see my mom and siblings. I doubt very seriously if Ron will want to go as it's not easy for him to get into the house. But, he really doesn't mind spending the day alone - he actually minds it less than I do for him to have to spend the day alone. LeCole and the kids will be in and out and I'm sure someone will make sure he has something to eat. LOL - it won't be much different for him than any other day except he won't be able to order pizza delivery.

The step-kids will make arrangements to come over and pick up the presents/gift cards for their respective brood. We may or may not get to see them - just depends on the day it's convenient for their parents to come over. If we can't get a mutually convenient date set up, we'll have to take their things over to Ron's ex-wife's house and the kids can retrieve their gifts from her. We know she'll see most of them. One grandson we don't see very often at all - usually around Christmas or his birthday - because he lives so very far away (LOL - about 15 miles) and his dad doesn't come around much. We see the others a bit more often than that. (OK - that was a bit of a tongue-in-cheek comment, but I couldn't resist. I'm not complaining - just used to the fact that this is how they operate. Ron says it's because when Karen divorced him, she divorced him from his children, too. They have grown up with him not in their lives so why should they include him in the lives of their children? I have felt very badly about this for him, and for them because they are missing out, too but I think I finally have a peace about it. We thoroughly enjoy it when we do see them and look forward to the next time we see them. But, we have to accept that their lives involve the other side of their family more than they'll ever involve this side of their family. Ron says God made it all up to him by giving him Shaun, Amy, and then Keith. I'm glad that he feels that way and I know my kids are grateful that God brought us all together. I feel no malice for the others and wish that they included their dad more, but that is life and acceptance is the best we can do.)

But - back to the original subject of this post. I can ramble, can't I???

To all who read my blog - thank you very much for your continued reading and comments. I appreciate each and every one of you and thank you very much for your support. I am nearly finished with this semester and next doesn't start until January 11. There is a change in my education plans, one I'll cover in another post. I'm not sure how busy I'll be once the new semester commences but my goal is to post at least weekly.

Merry Christmas to you all and a very happy and prosperous New Year!


Kathy's Klothesline said...

We all ramble from time to time and we all go through difficult times. Sometimes the holidyas just bring it all to a head. I wish for you the most wonderful holidays. Merry Christmas!

Rae said...

Sounds like a lot of activity and things to do. Just wanted to stop by and thank you for all the wonderful comments you leave on my blog.

Blending Families said...

Looks like you will have your hands full these holidays. Times are difficult but it should not prevent us from have a grand time with our family.

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

Amen! We're all looking forward to playing "the game" which is a version of Dirty Santa. All of the adults in my family do this in lieu of trying to buy something for everyone - or feeling bad that you can't do so. Saves lots of money and it's great fun and always done in good spirits.

Pat said...

I think everybody has cut back this year, so don't feel bad. Plus it's so nice that you still try to help those in need.

You still make an effort with Ron's kids even though you don't see them. (Very often, at least) I know my husband would probably say, "The hell with them!" He's like that!

You have a nice holiday, take it easy if you can, and hope Ron feels up to it.

Merry Christmas and Happy New YEar