What do you see? I see...

I borrowed this from Cat over at Musings and Confessions of a Wandering Mind and thought it so good that I decided to post the question here as well. If you've already answered this on your own blog, please link it so we can all go read your thoughts.

What do you see when you look into the mirror?

This is an edited version of what I posted as a comment on her blog:

When I look in the mirror I see eyes that look a bit more tired, skin that's not quite as firm as it once was, hair that is a bit grayer than she'd like and a bit thinner than she'd like. But, I see the soul of a woman who has shared much, given as much as possible, and enjoyed immensely. I see a woman who has given and received joy; given and received pain; loved and been loved. I see someone who (like Odie) wishes she knew at 21 (or even 30) what she knows now at 54. I see someone who wishes she had made some different choices in her life and done some things that she has done at a different stage in her life instead.


I see someone who is at a crossroads and not sure where to turn or what to do - what the next breath or day will bring, or if she'll be granted that next breath or next day.

I see someone who dearly, deeply, and fiercely loves her family and friends. I see happiness waiting to emerge; I see sorrow on the horizon. I see contentment and peace within.

I see love.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That sounds a whole lot more "deep" than what I usually post about, but I do have deep thoughts and deep feelings. There are many things that I would change (if I could) and many things that I wish I hadn't done. Money that has been spent (or not spent), jobs that have either been passed on or taken, friends that I have lost contact with - and so much more. There are family members whose loss is felt immensely and the wish that I had spent one more hour - or even one more minute - with them is a constant reminder of their absence.

There are many times when I look in the mirror that I see someone I despise - someone I feel is not worthy of love or affection from anyone. Then I realize that in order to truly love anyone else, I must love myself FIRST. I don't always have to like the image in the mirror, but I have to love her in order to show love to others. It's always so much easier to love others than it is to love myself.
 
There are times when I think that "all the easy parts" went to other people and that life is totally unfair. Then I slap myself for my selfishness and shallowness. Many, many people on this earth would give whatever it took to have my level of problems instead of their own.

There are times when I look into the mirror and I don't recognize what I see. Who is that woman and what has she done with the "me" that I know? Where did she go? Where is the woman who could do whatever she set her mind to and how was she replaced with this... this... this THING instead?  Where is the woman who knew all the answers?
 
Many times I look in the mirror and I see someone who is eternally grateful for what she has and for the love that she's been given by her friends and family. I see someone who is undeserving of what she's been given but grateful for it all the same.
 
I see life. I see love. I see overall happiness and contentment.
 
What more could anyone ask for?

So, today was a great day...

Ron and I were meeting a lady this morning (who is the marketing director for a retirement community near where Amy, Rex, and Isaiah live) to see an example of one of the "cottages" that this community offers for rent to seniors. I asked Amy if they wanted to meet us there and then go get something to eat. She thought that was a great idea.

We've looked at the place (it's small - but it's not one that we are interested in anyway, I just wanted to see the bathroom size for reference) and then decided where we'd go eat. There's not much to offer in Newton in the way of dining (unless you consider McDonald's or Wendy's "dining") so we opted to go to Yoder to the Carriage Crossing (great Mennonite cooking!). I was unsure how far away it was from there, so I said I'd follow Rex.

I'd had my morning medications (which includes a diuretic) about two hours earlier and they were starting to do their "magic" on me. But, Rex said it wasn't very far away so I said nothing. Nearly 30 minutes down the road, I'm about to BUST and think I can go no farther. Ron is sitting in his chair and said he had to go. Isaiah (who decided to ride with us) was whining that he had to go, too.

Brace yourself.... I'm going to let you all laugh at my expense because, believe me, I was cracking up. I pulled off of the highway down a dirt road. Turned the car around so it what I "might" be doing would not be visible from the road and took care of business. Isaiah couldn't wait until we got to the restaurant, so he hopped out of the car and followed suit. And Ron - well, poor Ron couldn't hop out of the car but I gave him something that he could take care of things with.

We continued down the highway much happier people! LOL! You might not find this story that amusing, but I just laughed and laughed and laughed.

We had a great meal and decided that Amy and I would go shopping to the scrapbook store (she needed to pick up some things and I had a $20 coupon) so I took Isaiah home with us and then she came down. Isaiah stayed and watched movies with Crampa while Amy and I went shopping.

It was a beautiful afternoon so we really had a blast out running around.

(I would never have made it to the restaurant. It was still 10 minutes away!)

I won!

Remember the contest I posted about that was going on over at Jumble Mash's blog? Well, the random number generator picked ME!!!!!

I'm so excited I could just ... well, I could YELL with excitement.

New glasses

After nearly THREE MONTHS of waiting, my new glasses FINALLY came in.

They are "At Last" lenses and supposed to be a better progressive for me because of my balance issues. I need distance and I need close up, but need the close up more so I was sacrificing the distance. I have reading glasses all over the house, at work, and in my purse.

These will take some getting used to because there is still a line of sorts. It's got sort of a bubble in the close-up vision area and then there is a mid-range area, and finally, the distance. It's not too bad.

They had come in to the optical department at my doctor's office at least three other times but they were so scratched up that they wouldn't send them out to me. They did end up giving me the lenses FOR FREE! They accepted insurance assignment and didn't charge me for the balance, which was substantial considering they're progressing (tri)bifocals.

What do you think?

Taken with my computer's web cam so not great pictures.

ANOTHER food post

But this one doesn't have a happy ending. I tried to set myself on fire tonight.

Not on purpose, but it happened and I am hurting.

I was fixing taco meat and when I picked up the pan with fluffy pot holders to drain the fat, one of the pot holders caught fire. I had my hand on a skillet with boiling hot hamburger grease in it and an on-fire pot holder trying to take off my fingers. Lucky for me, I have a really small space between the stove and the sink and I was able to get the pot to the sink and the fire put out.

I was already running hot water in the sink to wash down the residue I was draining off the hamburger, so I stuck the pot holders in the sink. Fortunately, I managed to keep from spilling the hamburger grease and hamburger down my legs.

Hand is not terrible burned but OUCH! it hurts!!!!!

I had Silvadene from when I dressed Ron's foot so I got some on there and wrapped up the fingers.

Typing is difficult.

A Day (or Seven) Late

I was awarded a highly sought after and sophisticated award the other day (last week) by my blogging friend Colenic over at A Smile A Day - the Stylish Blogger Award! I almost missed it because I was busy admiring the Warm Fuzzy Award that Chief a.k.a Dad at Unsound Reasoning had bestowed upon her.

The rules for this one are simple - for every person you pass the award to, you need to share a random thing about yourself.  Depending on how many random things about myself that I can come up with will determine how many people I pass it on to.

1. I like to make scrapbooks and then give them away. That doesn't count; most of you know that already.

1. I kid that God made a mistake when He made me. I'm sure I told Him I wanted a "full head of hair and lips, and thin hips." Instead, He heard "thin hair and lips, and full hips." Or else, He has a sense of humor.

2. I'm the middle child of seven kids - and pretty much smack-dab in the middle of the age spread between the "older" group and the "younger" group. My youngest older sibling is 3 years older than me and my oldest younger sibling is 3 years younger than me.

3. I've been a pharmacy tech, a physical therapy assistant, secretary, massage therapist, help desk support rep, kindergarten teacher, college instructor, soap maker, lotion maker, Web-based business owner, cook, waitress, and technical writer. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

4. I'll be 55 in August and I'm looking forward to receiving my own senior citizen discount!

I guess that's four items so I need to pass this award onto four other bloggers. I need to take a rain-check on who I'm giving it to because a lot of my friends already have this award. I would like to pick some new ones for your reading pleasure.

Another food post

I got home late from work last night (had to stop at the store first) and Ron had requested that I make spaghetti with mushrooms in the sauce.

It was delicious. I decided that I would take leftovers for my lunch today, so as I was cleaning up I fixed myself a bowl to take. On top of my bowl, I placed a bowl of salad so I'd have a very balanced, good for me meal. After that, I put the left over sauce into another bowl so I could fix Ron another meal with it.

My lunch today was supposed to look something like this:

Image courtesy Google images

Instead, it looked like this:

That's just the sauce. You know, the one I put away so I could fix Ron more spaghetti at another time. I was not in the mood to eat plain sauce (even though it was quite tasty), so I opted to check out the on-site cafe and see what they had.

I found this:

I added a little bit of the sauce to it and had a great meal - salad, baked potato, and spaghetti meat.

Not too shabby.

Lunch today

I decided to take a lesson from Odie over at The Simple Life and put one of my kitchen items to work. I have this totally great crock pot that I rarely use. I don't know... maybe big appliances scare me - who knows. I use it for chili or for green rice (that's broccoli and cheese casserole) but not really much for COOKING.

Last night, Keith discovered a head of cabbage in the crisper (I'd bought it for Ron as a replacement for lettuce because he likes cabbage better) and wanted to know if I could fix corned beef and cabbage. I don't buy corned beef. I like it OK - once or twice a year - but it's too salty to think about purchasing on a regular basis. I did, however, have a beef brisket in the freezer.

Frozen solid like a rock. I took it out and defrosted it for a bit so I could cut saw it in half (it wouldn't fit in the crock pot in one piece). Once I did that, I added a can of beef broth, a can of chicken broth, a bunch of dried chopped onion (no fresh onion in the fridge), and some seasonings. Put the setting on low and went to bed.

It was smelling pretty good this morning but didn't have much in the way of taste. Plus, I'd forgotten to trim the excess fat off the beef so I had some cleanup to do. Added some more seasonings and some fresh (but frozen) green beans that a friend had given me last summer. Added pepper. Bland. Added some salt. Not much since we have this sodium restriction at out house, but a bit. Added a bag of miniature carrots.

Keith came in behind me and added some chopped garlic, some bay leaves, and some jalepeno pepper juice. He also added "Triple Italian" seasonings (not sure what all was in it).  He added some frozen corn.

It was beginning to smell really good, so I did a taste test and discovered the veggies were done and the brisket was very tender. Time to add the cabbage and turn it to warm so the cabbage didn't become mush.

I had to have a bigger taste test...

I'm very pleased to report that it passed with flying colors. Not only is this lunch today, but will be dinner tonight (with biscuits) and probably lunch tomorrow.

Very, very good! And, since it's really cold outside, it warmed me up nicely.

What's for lunch/dinner at your house?

My Sailor Boy

Any posts about Navy pride and parental pride would not be complete without one regarding my oldest, Shaun, who joined the Navy when he was 20.
(This picture was taken in October 1999 when he was home on leave.)

For a little background on Shaun...

He was the kid that barely graduated from high school. In fact, the week before graduation we still weren't sure if he had enough credits to pass.

He got a standing ovation when he crossed the platform. They were all so glad to see him leave graduate. He was, to put it mildly, quite the challenge in school.

He read his text books the first 2 weeks of school and never opened them again. He never turned in homework assignments because (in his words), "The teachers know that I know the answers. All they have to do is ask and I'll tell them." In fact, he always had his hand in the air to answer the questions and teachers frequently had to tell him to put his hand down so someone else could answer the question. Many times, during class discussions, he would be reading another book for pleasure but true to his word, if the teacher called on him, he not only knew the answer, he knew what the discussion was about.


He was pretty cute, too


He always aced the tests - without studying. Ever.

He took a math course (the name of the class escapes me) that usually (for most people) involved several steps to figure out the answer to the problem. The problem would be at the top of the page and the answer spot at the bottom. The middle was reserved for the student's work. Shaun would read the problem and write down the answer. The key was to show the work. He couldn't figure out why or what the work would be. "It's simple. You read the question and this is the answer. There's no work involved." The answer would be technically correct, but without the "work" being shown, the teacher marked it wrong. Every time. But, he was fascinated with how Shaun's brain worked and requested that Shaun take the second level of this math course the next year. The results were the same.

He couldn't keep a job. McDonald's, Sonic, you name it - if it was a fast food restaurant within walking (or bicycling) distance, Shaun had probably worked there and been fired from. He didn't drive. He was hyperactive and took Ritalin so (based on Kansas requirements) couldn't get a driver's license without a doctor signing off on the paperwork. His doctor would not. He was that hyper - ADHD to the max!

He spoke fluent Klingon. (that's his words)

He decided when he was 18 that he wanted to join the military so he talked to the recruiters. They told him he had to be medication-free for two years before he could join, so he took himself off all of his ADHD meds (cold turkey). That could be why he had trouble keeping a job but he was determined to make it happen.

He scored so high on the ASVAB that they had him re-take it. He scored higher. So, they had him take the Nuclear Power entrance exam and scored very high on it, too.

So, into boot camp he went. My family took bets on how long he'd last. I'm happy to say that they all lost. He lasted and although he didn't win any awards, he proved his resiliency. His years of walking around Wichita and riding his bike around town made him in better physical shape than many of his "shipmates" were. He didn't get blisters from walking. He sent several letters to us that talked about how the drill sergeants didn't yell all that much and not always at him, so that was good. From spending years of having others make fun of him at school (he was the butt of many cruel jokes because of his "differences"), he had learned to let most comments and insults roll right off his back. That truly helped him get through boot camp.

After boot camp, he went to school for two years for power school training. That he survived - and did well - was really surprising to us all because he had to study. And turn in homework. Two foreign items to him. He had to spend a certain number of hours each week at the school doing his studies and turning in the assignments.

But, he ended up doing quite well and when he finished, he was stationed on the USS Harry S Truman.

His Boot Camp photo

Various Certificates

Certificate and Press Release photo

Discharge and 1st re-enlistment certificate

He's making a career of the Navy and is now a 1st Class Petty Officer and studying for Chief. Shaun is currently stationed in Bremerton, WA on the USS John C Stennis.

We're very proud of our Sailor Boy!

Wonder Dog

I was enjoying myself yesterday while reading an item my friend Marla over at Butts and Ashes posted - at her expense, of course. Marla doesn't mind people enjoying a good laugh or two. She's been known to cause them purposely.

Unfortunately, my little reply to her post has come around full circle. I said I hated mice but loved her food of choice for them... "here little micey, here you go." {sigh} They came, alright.

At least one of them, anyway...

But - Wonder Dog to the rescue!

Ron headed into his bathroom this afternoon and I heard, "Teresa, Maisey caught a mouse." Naturally, I had to go see for myself. Sure enough, in the middle of the bathroom floor for all to see was a little (and very dead) mouse.

Thank you, Maisey! You saved us!

I went and reset my mouse traps - just in case it had some friends come visiting.