Christmas with Isaiah

I got this idea from this post on Silver Strands. It seemed like a fun thing to do, so here I go.

The "assignment" is to go to the 8th folder on your computer where you store your pictures, and then select the 8th picture in that folder. I had to fudge a bit because my 8th folder (Christmas) had Christmas by year and I didn't have 8 additional folders. So, I opened the 1st folder and couldn't really tell you anything about the pictures inside because they were gathered from other places, and there was only seven pictures. So, I selected the next folder and got this picture of our sweet Isaiah.

This was the first Christmas that he lived with us (2005) and he was about two and a half. He loved to dance and would often dance around the living room to real music or music that he provided to himself. He was (and still is) such a happy child. We have been blessed beyond measure with all of our grandchildren. They all hold special places in our hearts, but Isaiah has really carved himself a place that would be so empty if he hadn't lived with us for nearly five years.

Once you've followed this assignment, you're supposed to tag eight others, but I'll let you tag yourselves if you want to participate. I think it will be interesting to see what 8th folder/8th picture you all come up with - and the story that goes with it!

Sold the car

Back when Ron was more optimistic about driving, he insisted on buying a 2000 Chevy Blazer. I could not - in any way, shape, or form - talk that man out of buying that "car." It was a 4-door, 4WD V6-Vortec and looked to be in decent shape, but I didn't think Ron would be driving much.

He drove probably less than 50 miles. That's a very liberal guesstimate. More realistic is probably 30 miles. In 13 months, 817 miles were put on the vehicle and most of it was done last fall. The car was not driven at all during the winter. So, spending $35 per month to insure it, on top of just making sure it stayed in good mechanical condition, was more than I wanted to keep doing.

Plus, we needed the money. I listed it for $4500 (which is what we paid for it), figuring the $1400 we put into the front end was just lost. {sigh} It was, plus another $700. We sold the darn thing for $3800 and I felt extremely blessed to get it.

We only had one serious inquiry on it and that is who bought it. I'm happy as a clam who missed the clam bake!

Doctor visit update

Doc was actually quite happy with how Ron's foot looked this morning. He said the discoloration was mostly due to the extensive work he did inside and not because the foot is more damaged. He said that he had taken out two more bones (more fragments - partial bones) and one near the little toe. So, the foot structure is what it is.

He said that barring any complications, once the incision heals (which he thinks it will but may need one more debridement) that Ron can walk. But... big but here... He said that if Ron cannot walk now with his brace then he'll not be able to walk once the incision heals. He said that the foot is as good as it will ever get. Without the bone structure inside, if Ron is unable to be steady with his brace and his shoe, then he'll not get any steadier and we might as well seriously just look at moving ahead with the amputation.

I don't want to do that but if it means walking again or not walking again, then I'm game. But, it's really Ron's decision - not mine - to make. He's considering it. Doc said he'd be one week in hospital and two - three weeks in rehab. While in rehab, they'd teach him how to transfer, put on the prosthesis, and do as much care for himself as he can. With his other limitations, I'm not sure how much self-care he can do.

He  goes back on July 9 for a follow-up.

Thanks for the prayers!

Surgery update

Ron seems to be doing pretty good but I'm not impressed with how the incision looks. It's kind of "gray" around it and along the side, there's what looks like a jagged rip heading towards the toes. I know that he had a small split earlier but this is bigger and does not look like it did before.

So, I called the doctor's office this morning and (finally), this afternoon they called back and want me to bring him in tomorrow morning at 9:15. It's probably nothing but I'd rather take him and have it be nothing than to wait until July 9th (his appointment) and find out that he should have been seen.

I'm very grateful to be able to work from home as that's what I did for about six hours today. I didn't work but one hour each Thursday and Friday last week, so that will hurt the bottom line, but I had to do what I had to do. I'll work for an hour in the morning before I take him to the doctor and then hope to be at work by 1:00pm.

That's the plan, anyway.

Mixing traditions

We knew that when Shaun and Jenny got married, there would be some mixing of traditions. Jenny was raised as a Buddhist, but her parents still celebrate Christmas when they are in the states during the holidays. Jenny converted to Christianity when she was a teenager but has never really advertised to her parents that she no longer practices Buddhism. They are very big on using traditional methods when determining when to move, how to arrange furniture, and naming children. As such, it took two years for Alexander to get his Chinese name (they had more time to think after Kaitlyn was born) and they've not liked the layout of Shaun and Jenny's apartment or how Alexander's bed must be placed in his room. Because there is a road that intersects another right out side of Alexander's room, their theory is that he can't sleep well because he has too many directions he can take. Well, that couldn't be helped but Jenny and Shaun said they would take their traditions (superstitions) into consideration when looking for a new place to live.

The apartment they live in is not small by apartment sizes, but it's not overly large and there is virtually no storage space. Although it has three bedrooms, they are all small and if they cleared the 3rd one out for the new baby there would be even less space in the living room for Jenny's desk and office supplies (she owns a private tutoring business) or for Shaun's books and such. Jenny's parents offered to help buy them a house, but they also wanted to have a say in what they got. To a point, I understand and agree. They shouldn't put money on the line for Shaun and Jenny to use irresponsibly or to make a decision not grounded enough in reality. They are still young and have never done anything of this magnitude before.

What I don't agree with is that now the money has been proffered, they feel they can tell Shaun how he needs to spend the money he earns and what his future plans should be. Shaun is in the process of paying for a cruise - for June 2011 - for his family to take. They want him to cancel it. Shaun may need to cancel if his ship's deployment schedule changes, but as of yet he does not need to do so. They don't want for Shaun to include us. Well - I didn't either in the beginning. I told him many, many times that it was an expense that I could not undertake and did not want him to undertake. He decided - after consulting with Jenny and getting her permission - that he would include us anyway. He wants us to help with the kids. Or, more specifically, wants me to help with the kids. He'd like for me to be able to take Kaitlyn and Alexander for a couple of hours while he and Jenny (and the new baby) spend some time alone. As alone as you can get with a new baby, but you get the idea. The baby will be about 8-9 months old, depending on when "it" decides to show up. (We don't know if it's a boy or a girl.) When we got the paperwork in the mail advising us of our "trip" I still told Shaun that he shouldn't have done so. He said that it was a gift to cover all the years that he's not gotten us a gift and for all the years in the future that he won't get us a gift. LOL - that was some fine gift!

I am at a crossroads. Shaun is upset with his in-laws. I don't know what direction to take. I honestly thought they liked us. Now, I'm not so sure. They say according to their tradition, it is the groom's family's responsibility to help with the purchase of the home for the son and daughter. I understand that this could be so. They also say that we have more money than we have let on and that we should be the ones giving the money. {big sigh} If they didn't want to help Shaun and Jenny with the house purchase, they should not have volunteered. I do not know how much was asked (because of the language barrier) and I only know what was expressed back to Shaun - then me - through Jenny. I know that it has caused them to have major words, and that is not fair for her family to put them in that position.

I volunteered our financial picture to Shaun. Quite frankly, it's worse than I thought it was. After we pay our fixed expenses, our utilities, car insurance, life insurance, health insurance, gas for the car, medical expenses, etc., I am in the hole $15.58 BEFORE I buy one drop of groceries - and that is if I draw a nearly full paycheck, which I don't do that often. So, I wonder where Jenny's folks would like for us to cut back so I can direct part of our income to their housing?

I'm cutting things back now and I intend to cut back even farther, but what I cut out will just allow us to eat. I would rather go without food than to make Ron give up his cable TV. If he could get out and do things - or could use his hands on a regular basis (some days are worse than others ), then maybe I wouldn't feel so badly about cutting cable. But, when he can get from the bed to the chair and back, that is his whole world.  I know that there is a little bit of cushion there, but not too much. I know I said before that I would cut back the cell phone minutes - and that will save us $15 per month. Not a big savings, but some.

This wasn't supposed to be a message about finances, but I seem to find a way to throw that in don't I? Sorry about that... It's just that finances are always just under the surface, not far away, in the back of my mind. I can't do anything without thinking about finances. (And, before anyone thinks that I could cut back by brown bagging my lunch or other areas, let me clear that up. I carry a lunch 9 out of 10 days and usually that 10th day I just don't eat, or I eat whatever snacks are in my overhead bin. Rarely - less than twice a month - do I buy a soda or a snack from the machine. I don't buy Starbucks (I did at the hospital on Thursday) and I don't buy McDonald's new "fancy" coffees either. I watch these shows where people "find" hidden money each month and mostly it's from eating lunches out, shopping and buying clothes/makeup/accessories, etc., hitting the ATM, getting their hair done - whatever. I would say that I don't do 95% of this so I don't see where I can find any hidden money. I'll post my thoughts on the "debt diet" another time.)

But, enough of my sniveling. My son has a rough road ahead of him if he's going to successfully mix the traditions together. He loves his wife and she loves him - so I pray that it all works out.

24 hours post-op

I have to say this surgery was much easier on BOTH of us! Ron did bleed, but not any more that what would be considered a normal amount. They ended up keeping him at the hospital until 6:00 PM on Thursday, so I think that may have helped in the bleeding. His foot was elevated for several more hours than it had been last month and I think that helped.

I was also more mentally prepared for what I'd see when I took the dressing off. I knew the "small" amount of packing they put in would actually be closer to several feet long. I didn't measure, but I'm comfortable with the estimate of about 3 ft in length, and the width was probably 1-1.5 inches. Instead of making a Dakins solution and packing the wound with Dakins-soaked 4x4s, they just had be get Epsom salts and he'll soak once a day for 10 minutes. The first soak was last night and his foot bled quite a bit in the water. Maybe he won't do that so much here on out.

Even though he did not lose nearly as much blood this time, he was still wiped out and slept most of yesterday, all night, and a great deal of today. Hopefully, he's back to his normal self today.

Surgery today

It is now 2:50 Central time (when I started this). The doctor came out at 1:15 to tell me that surgery went well and he was able to save Ron's foot. Said he did remove a small portion of bone but he also found some healthy tissue down in there. Said they'd keep him here until they were sure he was not going to bleed like he did last month. If the bleeding does not stop or slow down enough, they will keep him overnight. They finally told me at 3:00 that he was back in his room. I found him sitting in a recliner, eating some lunch, and watching CNN. I guess he's been in the room for about an hour or so.

Ron said they told him he was going home at 4:00. Not if he's still bleeding, he's not! His dressing is not completely saturated, but I see "red" down a few layers. They will have to change the dressing, or at least add to it, and put his foot DOWN to see how it does. Last time, it didn't really start bleeding until they put his foot down. As long as it's elevated, he's fine. Bleeding all over didn't start last time until they tried to get him out to go. We shall see... I'm not pussy-footing around this time. I know what I went through last month and how many days he spent in bed because of bleeding.

No more Mrs. Nice Gal!

July 4th weekend

I want to have a July 4th celebration at our house that will be very memorable for Ron. His remaining sister (Wydonna), who  lives in Tennessee, fell in a rest stop a few weeks ago and broke her knee (not sure which knee); she’s 73 and doesn’t think that her doctor will let her travel next weekend. Her daughter lives in Arkansas, his deceased sister’s (Vicki) girls live in Indiana and Florida. I’ve invited them all here as a surprise family reunion of sorts. I told them that he’s doing fairly well right now, but that the doctor has said he’ll need his leg (mid-calf) amputated sometime within the next two years because of the bone infection and the break-down in the structure. Every time they remove diseased tissue and bone, it creates a less stable platform for him. I said that he’s having surgery this week and with the advancement of the Parkinson’s and vascular changes in his brain, that this summer might be a good time for them to all visit.

So, Vicki’s girls (Elana and Dana) are coming for sure. Dana is leaving Indiana on July 1 and Lonnie (that’s her nickname) is leaving Florida this coming Sunday after church. She’s got four kids but she’s only bringing three because the oldest just got a job (he graduated this year); she’s a widow so there’s no husband to bring. Dana has two kids and a spouse, but the spouse is supposed to be getting a job so he may not be here. I said we have no furniture but they’re welcome to use air beds on the floors downstairs and there’s a private bathroom they can all share. Not sure I have enough towels and wash cloths for them for showers though. LOL – may have to borrow from Amy. Dana’s kids are Jennifer (Keith’s age – maybe a year younger) and James (I think he’s 15).
Lonnie will be bringing Hotchie (that’s his nickname – his real name is Anthony; he was named after his dad), Joey (he’s a cutie and I think he’s about 9 or 10) and her only girl, Elexis (Lexie). She just turned 6 and since Vicki died, I’m supposed to be her godmother. I'm not doing a very good job of it, though.

Wydonna’s daughter (Kathy) let me know they will try but not sure if they can or not. They have a son who lives with them (another James) but he’s over 21 so maybe he wouldn’t come. Their daughter, Randi, actually lives with Wydonna with her boyfriend (Byron) and her two kids from 1st marriage (Austin and Jason). The boys are visiting their father this month so not sure if Randi and Byron will come. Wydonna also has a mentally challenged adult son (Bobby) who lives with them. He’s in his 50s and he’s who they discovered PKU on – he was perfectly fine until he was 2. Bobby is a sweetie and has had a crush on Amy for as long as he’s known her. He used to follow her around with a camera and take her picture.

Confused yet? It will be a madhouse. I let Stacey (step-daughter) know about it Sunday, Amy and Keith know; now I just have to let Tim know. Ron, without even realizing that we were having a big family thing, invited his ex-wife and her husband over, so that's really quite funny. Stacey is taking the whole week off next week so she can come get Lonnie’s kids and take them to her house to swim (depending on when they get here). I don’t have a bed any longer for Wydonna and Don but they could sleep in our bed – Ron in his chair and me on the sofa. Bob could sleep on the futon. We can make it work.

Lonnie said she’d buy groceries for her clan and she’d make sure Dana bought for hers. So, I just have to make sure I have enough for the rest of the crowd. We’ll do hot dogs and hamburgers on the grill on the 4th. Amy and Rex will be in western Kansas but Amy said she’d come down on Friday (Rex has to work) to see everyone. Dana won’t be there yet but Lonnie will.

Next week will be a freaking zoo at my house – and poor Ron doesn’t know about any of it yet. I keep almost blowing it by saying stuff about getting this or getting that or whatever.

It should be fun. I actually can't wait to see everyone - all the noise included.

More surgery on the horizon

Ron is not doing too great. He sounds better and I think that most days the confusion is not as bad. Some days he still takes "PM" pills instead of "AM" pills, or he doesn't take any because he says he can't figure out the pill system. We've used this pill system for months so when he says he can't figure it out, it concerns me. He's managed to lose about 20 pounds in the last month or so, actually trying to. He is not eating as much and has had some very low blood sugars. I have to remind him to eat and some days he just doesn't feel like it. He says he does not get hungry.

We visited the foot surgeon today and the guy is really nice. He's honest and tells it like it is. He says Ron has rampant infection in bones in his foot. He had surgery on the lateral side of the foot in May and had one of the bones removed. He is going back in on the 24th to have further cleaning and probably will be removing some additional bones - as much as necessary to salvage as much as possible. He says he wants Ron to walk as much as possible and to get as much exercise as possible. He says that with the years of experience he has, he does not see that this will ever heal and it's not a matter of "if" he has to have it amputated, it's a matter of "when" he has to have it done. The goal Thursday is to not have to do so at this point but we don't know how bad the bones are. After shedding many tears today - by both of us - we are mentally preparing ourselves for what the doctor most likely will  find next week and the knowledge that things may be worse inside the foot than they appear on the outside of the foot.

It still drains and I still have to make my day revolve around changing the dressing. It should be done twice a day but there are some days that I just can't get it done twice. One of the problems is the drainage (and blood) is causing problems inside his shoe (when he wears it) or on the carpet. The nurse suggested today that I buy sanitary pads because of the liquid proof backing they contain. It's been so many years since I've had to buy stuff like that, that I will have to really examine the boxes to make sure that what I'm getting will solve the leakage problem.

Part of Ron's bone problem is that he has Charcot foot and the little bones crack and crumble over time. As they break down, they lose the ability to support weight on the foot, and then it perpetuates the cycle. He's trying to save Ron's leg as long as possible but says sometime within the next two years - at the outside, probably sooner - the leg will just be so infected that it will have to come off. At that point, maybe Ron's overall health will be better, they may have better diabetic treatment, etc.

The bad part is that his overall health is bad. His heart is bad, his kidneys are bad, and the Parkinson's is making itself known. He may not even live long enough to lose the foot and as terrible as that sounds, that is something that is always on my mind. Honestly, I come home from work and if he's sleeping in bed, I check to see if he's breathing. Every morning when I get up (if he is not up before me), I check to see if he's breathing. If I bring Isaiah home with me and I think there's something going on with Ron, I make sure that Isaiah stays out of the room while I go "wake up Grandpa." I never send Isaiah in to wake him up unless I can see for sure that his chest is moving up and down. Sad, stressful, but true.

I would really like to have an Independence Day celebration here. We don't know how many more good days or months he's going to have and traveling any distance is out of the question for him. We are not moving to WA for a host of reasons, most of which has to do with his health. Our primary care physician says that with his health the way it is, things could change very quickly. I'd like to think that things could change for the better as well, and I still believe in miracles, but I'm also trying to prepare myself for the eventuality that things may never get better.

I'd like to create as many positive memories for him and as his memory diminishes (which it will and it is in some areas) then he'll have something to look back on with fondness.

Dress up my blog

My blog is so "blah" but I don't know how to dress it up. I see so many cute layouts and backgrounds out there. I say to myself, "Self, you could do something like that to your blog." Then, I realize I don't know how. LOL - so, my blog is destined to look boring, but don't let the looks fool ya! It still contains just as much interesting fodder stuff as before.