I don’t know what is up with me today. I’ve gotten plenty of rest in the last few nights, I’ve lost a bit more weight, and Ron is feeling a bit better. But, I find that I’m a bit melancholy today. Maybe the whole health crisis of the past four months has started to take its toll on me.
We bought our furniture last year on a “12 months same as cash” program, with the intention of paying it down (or as close to off as possible) because we thought Ron was going to be getting an annuity settlement from his mother’s estate. I really should have known better than to plan on something that hasn’t happened yet. The settlement didn’t happen until this year, and then it wasn’t a bulk amount but monthly payments. Since he’s been off work I haven’t be able to pay anything on any debt other than the minimum payment. Then we found out today the annuity payments may be held up in red tape or stopped altogether because his niece believes her mother is suffering from dementia. This is the sister who gets is responsible for the disbursement of the funds.
I just realized last weekend that the 12 months was surely nearly up or even completely up by now and we hadn’t seen a statement in months. I got a really sick feeling in the pit of my stomach because of the extra financial burden we have put ourselves in. I called them today and found out that the 12 months is actually up tomorrow. Since we can’t pay it off in full by then, the added interest is $1400 – give or take a few bucks at 23% interest. I know, I know – I can hear it now…. Just what were we thinking??? I hate buying things on credit and I have really developed an aversion to it. I have more debt on credit than I’m comfortable with and now I’m having trouble seeing the light at the end of the tunnel (unless it’s a train bearing down on me).
I talked to the finance company and they’re willing to refinance the note, but they want to also attach Ron’s vehicle and pay off a credit card. That would extend what we’re paying by over two years (making it a five year note) to save us about $200 per month. We just don’t want to do that. Stretching ourselves now for two years is better than dragging it out for nearly five. I’m going to decline, especially since the interest is higher than it currently is on the vehicle and the credit card.
We made some bad financial decisions based upon flawed financial advice and now we’re paying for it. I don’t know what the outcome will be but I can honestly say this is the first time I’ve felt really down about the whole situation.
If we could refinance the house and get enough equity to pay off some things, that would be good. I just don’t know if it would be beneficial or hurt us more in the long run.
I think this is actually the lowest point I’ve been in this whole thing. Ron is very weak and he’s unsure of his future but he’s pretty certain that returning to work may not be an option.
This may all be a moot point if the IRS comes knocking on our door. I would hate to think they’d attach our resources without some kind of warning or dialog first, but it’s impossible to tell with the IRS. They seem to think they’re above the law.
If I had had even the tiniest inkling that things would not be as planned, we would still be living in our other house making do. We would be less in debt and not owe the IRS any money (we would not have cashed out Ron’s stock). Yes, the other house would have been much more difficult for Ron but the payment was less and the overall expenses would have been less.
I keep hearing the words to Dolly Parton’s version of “Hello God” in my mind:
Hello God, can you grant us
Love enough to make amends
(Hello God) Is there still a chance
That we could start again
Hello God, we've learned our lesson
Dear God, don't let us go
More than ever
Hello God, hello, hello
Hello God, we really need you
We can't make it without you
(Hello God) We beseech you
In the name of all that's true
Hello God, please forgive us
For we know not what we do
Hello God, give us one more chance to prove ourselves to you
Hello, God; hello, God
Hello God, can you grant us
Love enough to make amends
(Hello God) Is there still a chance
That we could start again
Hello God, we've learned our lesson
Dear God, don't let us go
More than ever
Hello God, hello, hello
Hello God, we really need you
We can't make it without you
(Hello God) We beseech you
In the name of all that's true
Hello God, please forgive us
For we know not what we do
Hello God, give us one more chance to prove ourselves to you
Hello, God; hello, God
I don’t know who wrote it, but it’s a beautiful song and sadly, somewhat appropriate for the current state of affairs around here.
We shall just have to see what the outcome will be in all of this.
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