I hate it when someone tells me they're going to do something - and then they don't. I hate it when someone volunteers to take care of a need, and then I count on it, and then that person doesn't.
How do you get people to follow through on what they promise? I wasn't raised that way and I didn't think I raised my kids to be that way, either. Out of four boys, we managed to get two who make promises they don't keep and one of those has learned that it's easiest to have no input at all - no phone calls, no visits, zip/nada/nothing. I believe the other one means it when he says he'll be over - but then something better comes along and we get shoved to the back burner.
I don't usually say anything to him but this weekend I was very frustrated and I left a message on his voice mail that basically said I was sick of being on the bottom of the list and being sold out if something better came along. It's not right and I am tired of wondering if he's going to show up or not. It will be easier if I just quit expecting.
Our yard needs to be mowed. It's needed to be mowed for over a week. It was supposed to happen last Saturday, but it didn't. Then it was going to happen Sunday but we never heard from him. I finally got him on IM and asked about it and got the message that he'd hurt his eye. That's fine and I am sorry his eye got hurt - but there was no telephone around anywhere??? If he had done what he said he'd do FIRST and then go "play" it wouldn't have been an issue.
This past week, it rained. And rained. And rained some more. He was going to come over this "Sunday for sure" and, silly me, I assumed that meant he was going to mow. Nope. No phone call, no show. Same crap; different day.
I guess he figures that if he doesn't call me (or return phone calls, or send an IM message) then he's off the hook. Well, he's off the hook because I'm not going to ask him again to do squat for me. If I can't do it myself, I'll hire it done. It's not like we abuse him with stuff to do around here. I think he may have - and this is a generous amount - mowed our yard five times this summer. I'm not even sure it was that much but I'll give five. I've had him help a bit in the garage. I've had him do a few other things, but not much.
Amy doesn't mow and I don't mow. Ron sure can't mow. I had been paying someone else to mow but he quit showing up (and he owes us $40 for a weed eater, too) and then a man from our church started showing up to mow - which we greatly appreciated. But we can't count on him as he has his own life and responsibilities to take care of. If there were any teenagers in the neighborhood who did mowing then I'd hire them. But there aren't any so that leaves me back at square one: Ask my son and hope that he'll follow through or pray that some kind person just shows up and mows it.
I guess I need to learn how to operate these pieces of equipment and get out there myself. I don't want to be the man. I hate being the man! I have the inside of the house to be responsible for and I resent having to take care of the outside, too. I can never start the darn mower and then after about two-three passes across the yard my back hurts so badly that I can barely stand it. I can't get the bag off or back on. Since tomorrow is trash day it would have been very nice to have the lawn clippings ready for pick-up, but that's not going to happen. So they'll either have to sit on the yard or I'll have to rake them into a bag which will sit and ferment for a week. Gross.
I do have a battery-powered weed eater and I'm going to try and trim tomorrow or Wednesday evening. We'll see how that goes...
I guess they all think that since Amy lives with us that she can just take care of the yard. That would be grand except she's got school, homework, Isaiah, and the grass makes her itch.
I'm really tired of the excuses and the partial truths. I know my son reads this blog. I am not trying to offend him with what I'm saying but I do want him to realize that his actions are not right.
I want him to realize that he's a great guy and he knows better than to act like this. I want him to realize that his actions today will have a direct impact on his future tomorrow. All of his actions. I want him to realize that he's got to get over that girl and move on. She's not worth the crap that he's putting himself through. I want him to realize that people love him and want only what's best for him.
But he's got to want it, too and want to move on. That includes not shutting people out, not making excuses for things, and not shirking his responsibilities - no matter what they are.
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