Pieces of me; pieces of her

My first marriage was pretty much a disaster; so was hers.
I got two great kids out of the deal; she got one.
I met someone else and fell in love; so did she.
He wasn’t ready to commit; neither is he.
He loved me oh, so much; so does he.
Too bad I had kids; same with him.
He was afraid to be a parent; so is he.
He liked the fancy-free single life; so does he.
He’d been burned before; so has he.
I’m not the same person as the other one; neither is she.
I thought I would die inside; so does she.
Pushing away was the natural reaction; so be it with her.
Self-preservation was instinctively ingrained; same with her.
He knew I cared too much but couldn’t change; the same with him.

I was concerned about the path I followed; so is she.
My children were my first priority; so is hers.
One man did not want them; same with hers.
I couldn’t put them through it again; nor can she.
Was my love not enough to make him see; same with her?
Would he mourn the loss if we were gone; same with him?
How long is long enough to wait on love; same with her?
How long is long enough to heal the pain; pieces of me, pieces of her?

That’s kind of a convoluted comparison between two people, two generations with the same ideals, same desires, and the same luck with men. I moved on and she may, too. It’s just painful to watch because I know exactly what she’s going through. He also had a family who wasn’t terribly supportive of him bringing someone else’s children into the mix. Outwardly, they were great; behind the scenes I wasn’t so sure.

I decided that God used him for a season, and for a reason. I don’t have to know why, but once I looked at the bigger picture I decided that it was safe and it was right for me to have had those feelings. I needed the time and the freedom the relationship gave me. I needed to know that I was still able to have a normal, healthy relationship with someone and know that I was still alive. I was so afraid that I was unlovable that God had to send me someone to show that I was not. That was a stepping stone; she may be going through the same phase.

We can only hope and pray that he sees the value of this one and realizes just what he could be giving up. Is his lifestyle worth the price he’ll pay?