Birthdays

This past Friday, my mom turned 80. We've been quite worried about her and had a surprise birthday party for her the previous Sunday. She has a Facebook page and on Friday, posted this...

Thoughts on my birthday. Some times in life you wish you were older or younger, but you reach an age you say "I'll be so and so my next birthday" as if you have just won a great prize. You look in the mirror and see an image of your mother there. You see the bags under the eyes and the lines around the mouth and think "I earned those just by living."You think of family and friends no longer here... of the husband and daughter that left way before you were ready to let them go, the grandson you never got to know. He would be 24 next month, a man.

Then you think of the children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren that have so enriched your life that are still here

God is good...This is my birthday. I am 80.

Such deep thoughts and great wisdom from her. My mom is usually a woman of few words and this was quite the post by her. (The grandson she refers to is my nephew who was stillborn 16 days before Keith was born; he was my sister's first child.) We're all so grateful that we still have our mom and love spending time with her. She had a great time at her surprise party and was just overjoyed to see her former co-workers who were able to come. She told me Friday that she felt like she'd neglected her family but she was just so excited to see those ladies. I said, "yeah, just a bunch of old farts hanging out." She laughed; the son of one of my cousins asked if it was an "old folks home" when he walked in because of this circle of old ladies sitting there.

So, today is my birthday. I'm 54 and I don't have near the wisdom or deep thoughts that my mother has. I do agree with the thought that I've earned a great prize. I'm at the age where I hear that "so-and-so" died and realize that the person is MY age. I used to think that "my" age was really old. I look in the mirror and although I see the lines (I've earned them, too) and the circles under my eyes, I don't really "see" someone who is in her 50's. I still see "me" and I don't feel like I'm an old lady. I wonder if my grandkids think I'm an old lady???

I feel like I can still do the things I did in my 20s and 30s. I feel like I still have so much ahead of me, and then I realize that, at 54, I have left most of my lifespan in the past and the time left is probably so much shorter. What can I do with the remainder of the time that God has given to me? Have I used "His" time wisely in the past? How much more will He trust me with? How can I use what is left to bless others?

I don't know, but I pray that He gives me enough future time to see all of my children all happily settled and my grandchildren grown; I pray that He gives me the time and the opportunities to bless others. I pray that He uses me in whatever area that He has for me.

I'm thankful for my life.

God is good... This is my birthday. I'm 54.