Knock, Knock…

Who’s there?

Ms. Whiny

Ms. Whiny who?

Ms. Whiny about Ron, who else???

I can’t help but wonder just when this less-than-amusing amusement ride will end. I got up this morning to let Maisey back into the bedroom, only to find Ron on the floor of the living room. He had fallen out of his lift-chair while he was trying to transfer and was on the floor. He was not hurt but he couldn’t get up. I had to go wake Keith up to come help since I am not supposed to be lifting – and even if I didn’t have that restriction, he’s too heavy for me. His joints are so sore (hands, wrists, elbows, shoulders, left knee, etc.) and that he just couldn’t support his body as he was trying to transfer. Once he was down on the floor, he couldn’t get turned over to crawl back up into the chair. Keith (with a little help from me) did manage to get him back in his chair. I don’t know what is going to happen with him – and with me. He’s about as strong as a frail 80-year old man – or woman, for that matter.

He also was acting a bit “off” mentally this morning. Said I had to go to my “thing” and thought it was Friday. First of all, it’s Wednesday, and my “thing” is tomorrow, not Friday. He just looked so confused this morning. Now, it was 5:30 so that could be part of it but still… I asked him if he was sure he wasn’t going into kidney failure. I’ll see how he is tonight when I get home. (Update: He's "slow" tonight in responses and comprehension.)

I really don’t know what to do with him or about him. He didn’t eat again yesterday but luckily he didn’t have a low blood sugar. That is probably because he didn’t take insulin either. When I got home from work last night I had a bit of trouble rousing him from sleep. It’s kind of scary. I can’t really cancel my test tomorrow because I think I need it, but on the other hand I think what if he is the one who needs to be in the hospital? It’s just too much right now.

Financially, things are getting really tough. Student loans just went into repayment (since I didn’t stay in school – dropped out last winter when Ron got so sick and although they hadn’t disbursed all of my financial aid, I still have some to start making payments on). I think I’m going to talk to a consumer credit counselor to see about negotiating some of our interest rates and debt-load. I don’t want to “not” pay it – I just need something restructured so I can pay it easier.

I did talk to the orthotics guy and told him that $25 per month is all I can afford. He seems fine, but evidently his bookkeeping staff didn’t get the message. My last bill had the amount I owe highlighted in yellow. LOL – as if that’s going to make money miraculously appear in my checking account with their name on it. Riiiggghhhttt….. Gotta love the bookkeeping department!

We rented a manual wheelchair (which should be delivered today) and insurance should pay all but $13 per month on it. After 13 months, it will be ours. I certainly hope that we don’t need a wheelchair that long, but I have to be realistic about things, too. Instead of getting stronger, he’s staying about the same in some areas and actually worse in others. He is going to have to have surgery on his left knee. There’s just no way around it. His knee just about won’t support him, so walking with his fake leg is really pretty much out of the question. He can’t put it on himself, and even if he could, I don’t want him trying to walk in the house without someone being there.

So - tomorrow is my heart cath. I am not worried, per se - but I would not be totally honest if I said that it will be a piece of cake and I'm fine with it all. Nope... that would not be true. Because, I can't help but have some worry in the back of my mind. Things do happen in procedures. There's a statistic on that. Frankly, my dear, I don't want to be a statistic.