What a roller coaster!

It has been a week of ups and downs for me. First I was all excited about our vacation being so close. Ron was getting excited. I was getting excited. We've been planning this for six months. Tickets bought. Money saved. I started packing. Bought him some new pants and some shirts so he'd look nice. It was really going to be something for him to remember, especially since his other trip ended in such a disappointment (kidney failure, resulting in hospital stay and no real memory of the trip).

Then I had some disappointment with the hotel and the extra charges that were going to take away from the shoestring budget that we were traveling on. They will hold $50 per day for incidentals "just in case" I want to use Wi-Fi or drink a cup of coffee in the room. The $50 per day can be cash or come off my credit card or off my debit card. The problem is, that $50 per day will be tied up for the duration and that's part of my entire budget for the four days. That was going to put a serious dent in the fun. So, I found a way around it and I was looking forward to having figured it out.

I wanted to take Ron to see where they film American Restoration, Pawn Stars, and Counting Cars - three of his favorite shows. Plus, there is a Mobster museum close to the hotel and I know he'd love that. This would really be a great trip for us and the grand finale would be the VIP passes and front row seats at the Oak Ridge Boys Christmas concert. So excited!

Then, tragedy struck yesterday. Ron fell while I was in the shower and cut his face by his eye. I got it cleaned up and it looked like it needed a stitch but he wouldn't let me take him in - which would have presented a problem when it was time to remove the stitch next week, so I said I thought it would be OK. I left for work because I had a class I was teaching. About 9:30 I looked down at my phone and realized I'd missed a call from him. Ten minutes later, I got a call from a number I didn't recognize but since I was teaching I let it roll to voice mail. When the class was doing an activity I listened to Ron's voicemail (he didn't actually leave one) and then called his number back. A strange person answered and told me she was with EMS. He'd fallen - again - and called 911. Since he was complaining of hip pain they were taking him to the hospital.

Damn, damn, and damn again! I knew without even being told that he'd broken his hip. Ron doesn't "call" for an ambulance or agree to hospitals unless he knows there is something seriously wrong. I came on down to the hospital and once I saw the x-ray I knew there would be surgery in his future. The ER doctor thought they could fix it with a pin but the orthopedic specialist said that the type of fracture it was would not hold up to normal activity and without a partial hip replacement, it would just crumble and he'd probably never walk again.

So, his trip is canceled for sure. He wants me to try and go without him. The tickets are non-refundable. Do I lose 1/2 of what we've spent or all of what we've spent? Do I look TOTALLY selfish for even considering going or do I be the loving, attentive wife and stay home - even though he'll be in a rehab facility and it's not like I'll be doing anything but sitting there and watching him sleep? If I don't "take" my vacation days, I lose them. Such a dilemma. I have already canceled our Christmas plans since he'll be in rehab somewhere for most of the rest of the month (that's what they expect considering the magnitude of his other health issues).

If I went by myself, I can't see that I'd enjoy much of anything except the concert. I don't have anyone who can go with me because they've all used up their vacation time for the year (I saved mine for NOW for this event). I feel so bad for him but at the same time I feel bad for me, too. He was afraid I'd be mad at him. I'm not mad - how can I be? I am deeply concerned though because he's fallen about seven times in the last month so his days of staying home alone may have come to an end. I know he does not want to live in a nursing home but we may have reached a point where we have no other options available for him.

So... I'm out of cheer for now.