Keep on keepin' on

I am definitely in a better frame of mind this morning. Ron apologized for being thoughtless and ordering the pizza when I’d gone to the trouble of getting stuff for him, fixing chili for him, and putting in a dish ready to be heated. He used the excuse that pizza just sounded so good and he ordered it. I know he figures that he’s got social security money, his retirement money, and his mom’s annuity money coming in – what harm is it in him spending a little bit of that on himself. There’s no harm in it. I spend a “little bit” on him every month – groceries, doctor’s visits, the house payment, car payment, car insurance, health insurance, utilities, and other incidental items like the shirts I just bought him last month because he needed some and they were on sale.

I did some calculating this morning on what it would cost to rent a hotel room for the week we’d be in Washington this summer for Shaun’s homecoming. Based on what I can find for hotel rates, I don’t think Ron and I will be able to go. Ron’s never been to a homecoming so it wouldn’t be fair of me to say “we can’t both go, so I’m going without you.” And, he can’t go by himself because he’d never make it from the airport to the hotel.

With his ongoing medical problems, and him probably needing surgery on his left knee, I planned to take FMLA (time off without pay) to conserve my PTO (although if I’m not going anywhere this summer, not much sense in trying to conserve it) and since life is stretched to the max as it is, I don’t see me being able to save over $700 for a hotel and then another $200 or so for a rental car. Even if Ron could get from point A to point B on his own, he can’t manage the scooter on his own and can’t manage medications, CPAP, or a host of other things without help. We have to have a hotel room because he’d not be able to get up the stairs to get into Shaun and Jenny’s apartment. Plus, the apartment is so small, it would be just too many people there. We’d have to have a rental car that would hold the scooter (which is very hard to take apart and put back together – so we’d have to rent a smaller one or maybe borrow one, if even possible). So – we’ll just have to be content to see them when they come to Kansas after Kaitlyn is born.

We’re just in a Catch-22 situation with no way out. Ah well… such is life. You play the hand you’re dealt and make the best of it. I try to keep it upbeat but you can tell from reading my blog that I do have my moments of despair. We’ve all got them and the only way to really get past those moments is to admit they’re there – and then petition God for more faith and sustenance to get you through them.

I honestly cannot fathom how people who don’t have some kind of faith and a Higher Power to look to make it through daily challenges – and especially through the more intense challenges, such as the illness of a loved one, the death of a loved one, or any of the other countless challenges we face during our lives.

Thank God for God and His never-ending grace in my life.