Monday, December 5, 2011

Energizer bunny or Timex watch?

Energizer bunny keeps on going and going and going... A Timex watch takes a licking and keeps on ticking.

I feel a special kinship with each of these icons.

I'm right there with them. One step forward and two steps back.

Ron is back in the hospital. Could be a blood clot in his lung, could be some mild heart attack issues, could be some mild strokes going on, could be just plain ol' congestive heart failure. Could be a combination of any of the above. Any of them could cause the Parkinson's symptoms to be worse or the Parkinson's could be causing one of his other issues to be worse.

Any way you look at it, it's not a good thing. He just can't catch a break and because he can't, it seems that I can't either.

At what point is it just too much? At what point do I say my body cannot do this any more? At what point do I say that my mind can't keep up with the demands that life continues to throw at me? At what point do I say that we have no choice but to seriously consider assisted living?

I don't know the answer. I'm not sure I want to know the answer. I always land on my feet, but at what cost?

My kids seem to think that I'll be able to afford care for Ron and my other expenses if we choose assisted living but they don't really see the big picture. Even if I don't lose money through taking time off without pay, I don't believe I clear enough to pay the expenses but I'll do my best. I have started over before, from scratch and with nothing, and I suppose I can do so again.

Whatever the cost, I'll do what I have to do.

11 comments:

SkippyMom said...

I hope they figure it out, take good care of him and he behaves when he finally makes it back home. :smile:

Please try and take care of you and concentrate on getting Ron well and try not to worry too far into the future about things you may have no control over. I know that is easier said than done, but your future finances sure do seem to bring a heavy burden on top of what is going on now.

I am sure he will be fine. We are sending lots of good thoughts and prayers that he is home soon.

Take care of YOU too. Don't you forget that. Hugs & love sweetie.

orchid said...

Hello, Dearest Teresa.
I hope Ron is back in good shape again soon.
Not clear the cause...
I am thinking of you two and sending my prayers as much as I can!!!
Always your friend, Orchid*

Thisisme. said...

Hi Teresa. So very sorry to hear that poor Ron is back in the hospital again. I hope that they can find out the cause and make him well again! I agree with Skippy - please just take one day at a time at the moment, and try not to worry about what might happen in the future, otherwise you will go out of your mind! I'm sure the Lord will help you when you most need it, and I will continue to pray for Ron to get well enough to be home again, and for you to have the strength to get through all of this. Sending hugs my friend, that's all I can do.

Lois said...

I can feel your exhaustion. Sometimes I'm terrified when I think at how close to the edge we are. Keep breathing, one day at a time. Lois.

colenic said...

Hugs to you....there must be a million emotions right now....I can't imagine what youa re going through- but ifyou need to talk, please let me know....I am here for you!! Hugs and lots of love to you and to Ron...I will be sending out positive energy to the universe for you...

Bouncin' Barb said...

Teresa, I can't tell you how reading this brings back so much to me. I've been in your shoes and truly you have to take one day at a time. If you think of "the big picture" the stress alone will get to YOU. Focus on Ron, talk to the doctors, get their honest opinions about his future, and cry when you need to. I wish I was closer so I could support you and give you all the hugs you need. You're a strong woman and you will get through this. Take it from one who's been there! Hugs my friend.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

I am sending you a big hug. Sometimes I feel like I am in a washing machine on the spin cycle. The only thing to do is hang on until it stops spinning. Just hang on and know that you are not alone.

labbie1 said...

Just be sure to take care of YOU. We forget to rest and eat properly but need to be reminded from time to time. Ron is under good care--rely on that and make sure you care for YOU. I remember the time that for a year we didn't know from day to day if my hubby would live or die. Everyone asked about him then one day someone asked how I was doing--and really wanted to know. I just cried...they never asked again because it freaked them out so badly. But, how ARE you doing? Take care!!!!!!

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Oh, honey. I don't know what to say except I am so sorry and will keep praying.

Rae said...

I am sorry to hear about the setback. So many things for you to think about. I am praying for you and Ron.

Kristen said...

I'm so sorry! I do know the answer - You can do it, you have done it. You are the Energizer Bunny and a Timex with a lot more personality. Hugs!