Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Tammy's Place Blog Candy

Tammy's Place is a blog I found a while back and she's got great stuff on her site. Right now, to celebrate her one year anniversary of blogging, she's offering some great blog candy.

I haven't quite figured out how some blogs just grow and grow - and the readers multiply like rabbits. And then, I see other blogs that are pretty stagnant. I write as often as I can and I hope that what I write is somewhere above the "boring" line. Some posts are better than others, but truth in blogging is important.

My style of writing may not be as entertaining as some and when I read other blogs I sometimes think to myself, "why didn't I write it like that?" LOL! Maybe next time.

Maybe not...

Sunday, June 28, 2009


I have decided that although I want to always be nice to people, and to not go looking for things to disagree over, I'm no longer going to just let people talk to me any way they want to without me saying something back that lets them know that I am no longer a door mat.

I have someone I am very close to who has a 7 month old baby. Said baby is quite large and has outgrown his rear-facing car seat. My innocent comment was how cute he looked in his seat but mom may want to look into the laws of her state because most states require rear-facing car seats for infants under 12 months of age and 20 pounds. The baby has to meet both criterion - not one or the other. And, to make sure that I wasn't misinformed, I went searching to make sure I wasn't giving incorrect information. When I found a site that had a lot of information regarding car seats (for all states), I sent her the link. She has comment moderation enabled on her blog so the "how cute" comment was never allowed to be posted.

My return comment was "I have done my research. I don't need help unless I ask for it."
Ouch... Just trying to make sure your child was protected in the event of (heaven forbid) an accident.

My reply: Well, excuse me for being concerned about ****'s welfare. It won't happen again. Kiss my ***. (And, yes - I said that word. Not because I wanted to be nasty but I don't tolerate my own kids talking to me like that and I'm not going to tolerate some other 21 year old talking to me like that, either.)

"You have been hanging out with ******* too much. I just said I don't need help on this subject."

It was the way you said it. I don't need help unless I ask for it. Sometimes people don't know they need help on something until someone with more experience points it out. You could have said thanks for your concern but I made sure he would be OK before I did this NOT what and how you said it.

"For your information, that big boy car sear is rear facing. It's a convertible and that's why I got it."

OK, that is good but you have forward facing in the car and in the seat belt. It is natural to think you are transporting him in this fashion. Instead of getting touchy you could just try to be nice in your comments and rephrasing before you comment. And for your information, I am not hanging out with ****** so phooey on you! hahahaha. (The last paragraph was intended to show that I'm not angry with her but I expect her to treat people who are older than her with respect. In case you are wondering, we are related so it's not like I'm giving advice to some individual just for the heck of it. I was truly concerned that she was unaware of car seat laws - after all, she's not had a baby before.)

After looking at her personal "page" I see that I am not the only person who was concerned and said something. Just because she says it's convertible and that's why she got it, does not explain that she's hooked it up into her car as a rear facing - or that she just photographed him in it as front facing to show how big he was. A little bit of explanation would have been great. Her comment online is "what's worse - having your baby in rear facing even though he exceeds the weight limit or forward facing because he's under a year old." And, she included the addition that it's a rhetorical question so to keep our opinions to ourselves. She did actually get some advice to do what she wants because he's her baby. {sigh}

The problem is that the law says rear facing until over 12 months and over 20 pounds. Unfortunately, doing what's best for baby isn't always what makes them happy or completely comfortable. Many places are plugging for rear-facing until the baby is two years old. Convertible car seats will have to be changed to accommodate these growing legs because that would be very uncomfortable. My comment back was that hard decisions today make easier decisions later. Kids are going to want to not wear seat belts later or to not be in car seats later so making them do what's safest for them now may be what has to be done. Make a decision today that is for their benefit and decisions later might not be so hard. She deleted all comments that did not support her decision in what she did.

I just read a post from someones Facebook page.... We must all suffer from one of two pains - the pain of discipline now or the pain of regret later. I've had it both ways and I think that the pain of discipline now is much easier to bear.

It is so very true and so very appropriate. My comments were not meant to intrude or to offend - but to provide information that she might not have had. One day she may learn that people aren't trying to tell her what to do when they offer an opinion or a suggestion. Some people may actually know what they are talking about and are just sharing information. Some day... but I won't hold my breath and I won't be talked to with rudeness without saying something back.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Dead-beat parents

I know there are mothers who are dead-beats, but the majority of absent parents are the fathers. Why? Just because the parents are divorced does not mean the children are divorced. I know that a lot of parents (both sides) use the children as tools. That is terribly wrong and I don't condone it on either side. There are also cases of abuse when it's best to keep the child(ren) away from the other parent. I totally get that.

What I don't get are the parents (for ease here, I'm going to say "dads" because that's what we're dealing with) who can just blithely walk out of their children's lives and go about their business as if they never existed. Isaiah misses his dad terribly. He hasn't seen him in nearly three years so it's not like he misses the person who was his dad but he misses the "dad" that he knows other children have. My ex-SIL has been a dead-beat ever since they separated. He had Isaiah for his 2nd birthday and didn't even bother to get him so much as a card. In fact, in the four years since that time, Isaiah has received exactly two gifts from him. One was Valentine's Day in 2008 and that entailed truck-stop stuffed animals. The other gift was a Wal-Mart gift card this past Christmas. They were both sent with no return address. Amy's not had his phone number in at least two years so it's not like she can call him. He's had our address (obviously) and our phone number has always been the same (so has Amy's). That means he could call Isaiah any time he wanted. He just hasn't. In fact, he's not called Isaiah in over two years.

Wednesday evening Isaiah was playing quietly on the floor in front of Ron's chair. He was acting very subdued, which usually means that he doesn't feel well. I asked him what was wrong and all he could say was that he missed his dad. I usually try a light-hearted brush past that and direct him to something else. That night, I instead drew him up onto my lap and we talked. I asked him if he remembered his dad. He said yes, he did - his name was Juan. I asked him what he looked like and he said that he looks like Mommy.

hmmm.... I don't think so. Poor thing wouldn't be able to pick his dad out of a lineup. I told him that Mommy, Grandpa, and I loved him very much and we'd just have to make up for his dad not being around. I explained that when Grandpa and I got married, mommy had a different dad and that Grandpa became her new dad. I said that when mommy got married again that her husband would be his new dad and would love to have him as a son. One day, when the time was right he would have a new dad who would love him and he would have someone to call "dad."

For Isaiah's sake, this can't happen too soon. I don't recall my children being as despondent over their absentee father. Isaiah longs to have a man in his life who will love him, protect him, and be the father that his biological contributor has never been.

I'm praying for this day to come.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Is white good or is white bad?

I know that if the skin is black (or dark) that it is a bad thing. But, what if it is white? I changed Ron's dressing this morning and noticed that inside the hole there is a white spot. Overall, the hole looks better than it did last week. But is it healing or is it dying around it? I just don't know. I'm using Carrasyn on Adaptic, followed by 4 x 4 pads and wrapped with Kerlix.

I don't know what else to do with it. He's not walking much so "staying off of it" is pretty much already happening. Mostly, he walks from the bedroom to the living room, from the living room to the bathroom, and then from the living room to bed at night. He may do some light walking in between to the kitchen, out to the car if we're going somewhere, and very little else. He doesn't want to go back to the wheelchair full-time but he may have to. Dr. Heady may insist when we see him on Monday.

He asks me "how does it look" and I always project the positive. No sense in both of us worrying. I do tell him to stay off of it as much as possible.

That, in addition to prayer, is all I think I can do.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Scary time

Yesterday, Ron discovered how weak and vulnerable he is. He was going out the front door and Maisey was trying to get out. In order to keep her in, he hurriedly shut the door. As the door was latching closed, he realized that he did not have any keys in his pocket and his car was locked, thereby preventing him from opening the garage.

He toddled over to the neighbor's house only to discover that no one was home. After he rested on their porch for a few minutes, he slowly made his way across the street to another home. Luckily, that neighbor was home and saw Ron crawling up the porch steps and came out to help him. He got him indoors, fixed him a glass of ice water, tied his shoes (Ron can't tie his shoes because of his disabilities), and let him use the telephone to call me. With the heat index where it was yesterday, and Ron's overall health, it could have been a fatal mistake on his part.

I know that Ron was very shaken up by this experience. It was a lesson he'll not soon forget.

Movie Review: Up

Ron and I took Isaiah to see Up this past Saturday evening. Isaiah was excited and could barely wait for it to start. He enjoyed the 3-D previews for future releases and I see a couple more movies in our future.

The movie got off to a slow start, with him asking "when" Up would begin. It was hard to explain to him the premise of the beginning since it spans the time of Carl being a young child, growing into adulthood, marrying & losing his childhood sweetheart, and finally becoming a senior citizen. That was just too much for small children to take in.

Ron cried. The portrayal of that time frame was really very realistic with the true essence of what life and death, dreams and losing your dreams, can really mean. It hit home with him especially since he recently lost a family member.

The scrapbook of Ellie's adventures is really nice and I see that being a marketing item. In fact, I would buy one .

Isaiah cried at one point because he didn't want "Kevin" to be hurt. He had great big, sobbing sounds and I knew that others in the theater were looking at him. I explained that the bad guys never win and he he was happy.

All in all, the movie is great. The screenplay is very good and the voices really fit the characters. I would highly recommend this for all ages.

To thong or not to thong

When I was growing up, a "thong" was a rubber-soled shoe with a t-strap between the toes. Now that I'm an adult, the term "thong" has a whole new meaning but it's still a t-strap between two pieces of anatomy. What I'd like to know is who looked at a "thong" and decided that cloth made in that manner would be the next best thing in ladies underwear? I believe it must have been a man because I can't see a woman consciously making that decision.

In looking at children at play, have you ever noticed one who didn't try to remove offending articles of clothing from between the "cheeks"? Why then would those same children actually go shopping for aticles of clothing to put back there??? It is beyond comprehension how that could even be loosely defined as comfortable.

I'm all for no panty lines when I wear slacks. I've looked high and low for undergarments that don't draw attention to what I have on under my slacks and jeans. I wear longer tops to cover my rear but I'm not always successful in hiding things. I absolutely refuse to wear a "thong" so I won't have panty lines. I'm not about to trade lines for jiggle - because, yes... when you take away that piece of material that covers your cheeks, you have jiggle. No matter how small your backside is, moving causes jiggle. Even you skinny girls. Just because you can look in the mirror and not see panty lines does not mean that when you walk everyone else is not aware of what you're wearing - or not wearing.

If I put on a nice pair of slacks and a nice top, I don't want to draw attention to my backside. I don't want someone to look at me and say, "yup - there's a thong in thar." I want comfort and I want style - not being uncomfortable (don't want that floss in there) and not showing what I'm wearing.

Commando sounds pretty appealing....


Sunday, June 21, 2009

Luther Joe

I found out yesterday that my cousin Luther Joe passed away. This saddens me on two levels - one, because I am unsure of where he was in the Lord, and two, because he was such a man of great strength and character.

Luther Joe was my mother's first cousin and although I don't remember him growing up, I remember his presence at family reunions and what a big BIG man he was - the epitome of the man who seemed to be able to do anything. Luther Joe and Linda (his wife) farmed and raised horses. They were a couple who just seemed to radiate strength and vitality.

A couple of years ago, my mom told me that he had Parkinson's disease and that he had been hiding it for a while. It was sad to think of a man of such stature wasting away from the ravages of disease. I know he will be missed by those whose lives he touched.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

The foot prevails

Dr. Heady did end up cutting on Ron's foot. It doesn't look bad but he's to stay off of it again. The blister has gone down into the next layer, which is not a good thing. I dressed it this morning and it looks better than it did last week, so hopefully we're off to a good thing.

Ron said the other night that he thought he was having a heart attack in his sleep. He said that he tried to reach out to me but couldn't lift his hand. He couldn't get the bi-pap mask off of his face to say anything, either. He finally realized that he was dreaming but it caused him some concern. He's spent two nights not sleeping and when he did sleep, it was in his chair. I'm not sure why he thinks sleeping in his chair would be any better than sleeping in the bed with his bi-pap machine on.

He said this morning that the main vein on the left side of his neck hurts. I don't know what that means. I'm not sure that I want to.

Monday, June 15, 2009


Life is totally about decisions. Some decisions are better than others and some are down-right bad decisions. All decisions have the potential to have long-reaching side effects or after-shocks.

I have made a lot of less-than stellar decisions. Some have even been recent. Some I have been ashamed of and some that I have been proud of. With most decisions you don't get an opportunity for a "do over" and you must live with the consequences. Sometimes that is a bitter pill to swallow.

I made a couple of recent decisions based on flawed information, which made me look like I had poor judgment. By the time I discovered the correct information, I was committed. So, in error I asked someone for a favor. I certainly wish I had not. It would have been better to keep my silence than to be the topic of discussion on whether or not I was making sound decisions.

Although I wish I could un-do a few of my decisions, I think this lapse in my judgment in asking is the most serious. I will make sure to never, ever make that same mistake again.

Now that I know how things are, I can go forward with the knowledge that I was really correct in my first impression and mistakenly thought something existed where there really was nothing.

Once I know what is expected of me, I can function just fine. I can continue to meet things head-on and do my best to keep it all in perspective. I thank God for the blessings in my life and the means with which to provide for us.

I pray that I can be a visible example of faith and strength. That doesn't always happen but that is my goal.

As for my decision-making skills... Well, I guess God and I need to have a better understanding of what is going on. I will do as I have always done - ask forgiveness for my failures and try to do a better job next time. In reality, that is all we can hope for.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

The foot

The blister on Ron's heel looks about the same - no worse and no better. He has had some problems with bleeding so last night I put a band-aid on it. This morning, after his bath, I put on some gause and used wrapped it in a kerlix dressing. Then I put a sock on it to help keep the kerlix in place. I imagine that Dr. Heady will need to do some trimming on it tomorrow.

The worst part of this blister is that it's on the bottom of his foot - not the back. The bottom is the worst place that he could have an injury. He can't walk on his toes because of the foot-drop injury so his whole weight goes down on that blister.

I am not ready to start this whole process over again, and I'm sure that Ron is not either. He is really worried about his foot and his overall health. He does not want to lose his foot and that is in the back of his mind. He doesn't get up around the house too much and he does even less now. He can only stand up for about 10 minutes before his low back and hips just scream at him to sit down. He can walk from the car to inside the store (or doctor's office) but then must have a wheel chair.

I know that he is discouraged.

Movie Reivew: Land of the Lost

The best thing I have to say about this move is....

Nothing. I couldn't think of anything good to say about this movie. The nachos were good, though. Ron wanted to see it because he remembered watching the TV series. This past week the SciFi channel has had a resurgence of showing episodes. The biggest difference between the series and this movie is the scenery is better and the CGI usage. The plot was still stupid and the acting wasn't much better.

Will Ferrell was typical Will Ferrell. A bit crude, a bit silly, and overall mostly irritating. I've never been a fan of his acting and would only voluntarily watch one of his movies more than once - and that would be Elf. That movie was cute.

I did laugh a few times but mostly because of the absurdity of it. We knew going in that it would be stupid (I suffered through it for Ron's benefit) but I think the level of stupidity surprised even Ron.

My rating on a scale of 1 to 10.... -5.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Garage Sale News

The garage sale is over and things went OK. I sold enough stuff to cover the cost of my airline ticket to see Shaun’s ship return from deployment. Some of the stuff I really hated to sell but the sacrifice of my jewelry is a small price to pay to see my son return. I’ve not missed a ship’s return since his first deployment and I hated for this to be the first one to miss.

One of the pieces of jewelry I sold was a watch from Premier Jewelry. It’s very classy and probably my favorite watch. It retails for $72 and I sold it for $35. The lady who picked it up commented on how pretty it was and how nice it looked on. Sadly, I agreed and said that it was a very nice piece of jewelry. She bought $145 in jewelry (I sold everything at about ½ of retail, or a little less) and knew exactly what it was worth. Most of it was Premier but she bought some freshwater pearl bracelets that were Silpada. I have a few Premier things left and my the rest of my Silpada things. I’ll put those on eBay to see if I can make some more. In addition to the medical bills I still have to get paid, I've got to come up with enough extra to cover the cost of the rental car ($271) and a hotel room for the night we get to Seattle ($96) since it will be 11:30 PM when the plane lands. It’s a 90 minute drive to Shaun’s apartment and there’s no way I can attempt that when my body will think it’s 1:30 AM.

We still have a massage chair for sale ($75 or $100), and we have some other watches that I need to put on eBay (Invicta Lupa Wave (mens), Invicta Baby Lupah (ladies), Silpada Hammered Silver (ladies), and Silpada green leather banded watch (ladies)). Ron also has a few knives that I have taken pictures of but haven’t had time to list yet. I need to get those online so I can maybe sell something before I need to leave.

I never ask my family for help on anything and I'm not about to start now. I’m usually the one with my hand out giving the cash or the check, but our medical expenses in the last couple of years have been the most medically expensive years we’ve had, with the least amount of income to go toward it that we’ve had. I haven’t had much of an excess to give to anyone. Even though there are a couple of my siblings who are in a position to be of assistance, they don’t offer and I don’t ask. I don't want any of them to think I've got my hand out for anything at all. I figure if they feel like offering anything, they will. I did ask one brother if he had any excess miles I might be able to use to help towards my ticket. I didn’t want to take miles that might be planned for his family vacation or travel, but wondered if he had any in excess that he might lose if not used. I didn't get an answer one way or another, so I decided that I’d not mention it again. (Update - he did answer me and wanted to make sure that I hadn't asked our mother for any money for this trip because I "sort of" asked him for money. I didn't think I'd asked him for money at all but I guess he misunderstood my intentions. I happened to find my original email to him and I actually offered to compensate him someway and said maybe we could work something out where I could pay for them. My brother and I had a long conversation that spanned several days and several emails. I think he understood where I was coming from and what I had been saying. I love my siblings but sometimes I do want to shake some of them. LOL!)

I went to a fundraising scrapbook crop today and I was able to sell my Cricut, tote, one cartridge, and a couple of extra sticky-pads for $140 - which will go right on my rental car bill. Ron sold a couple of things and he's got a bit of money to put towards my trip, too. So, I have the bills covered and just need to sell a bit of jewelry to cover some spending money. (Update: sold some stuff on eBay so we're cooking now. Travel expenses covered; medical bills will have a chunk paid on them.)

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Restaurant review: Hangar One Steakhouse

Ron and I tried out a new restaurant last night. It is called The Hangar Steakhouse and is locally owned. One of my co-workers had recommended it a couple of weeks ago and I was dying to take Ron there.

The decor is airplane-themed, with planes hanging from the ceiling, TV monitors on the wall showing airplane videos, airplane components as part of the entry, and other items. It was pretty busy, especially for a Wednesday.

We had lettuce wraps for an appetizer and then we each had the rib-eye steak. I had the vegetables and baked potato; Ron had a salad and baked potato. As soon as our waitress sat my plate down, I realized I had forgotten to say no seasoning. Most places use a salt-based grill seasoning and if I don't order it plain, I can't eat it. I was very surprised to discover my meat was perfect in flavor with no excess salty flavor.

The bread was a nice addition to the meal and tasted very fresh. We also splurged and shared dessert. Death by Chocolate cake (not your usual chocolate cake, this was very rich with several layers and then topped with chocolate chips) and apple pie ala mode. Very, very good.

The serving sizes were generous, the service was great, and the ambience was outstanding. We will return.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Blog name

My son just IM'd me and asked what happened to my blog and now it was MLB betting line. I asked him what he meant because I'd just changed the name (from soapymomponders), not anything else. It seems that someone has taken "soapymom.blogspot.com" and turned it into a betting site! I'm appalled!!! How could they do that? And, why would they do that?

How do I fix that? I have a lot of people who know me as soapymom and I certainly don't want them to think that "I" have anything to do with that site!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Meanest mom

Each generation has one. I thoroughly enjoy reading the Meanest Mom blog. She sounds like she is definitely in the meanest mom category. I think I was the meanest mom of my generation. We didn't give allowances for doing housework (you live here - you help clean it up), we didn't shop at the "name brand" stores (Wal-mart was good enough for me, it's good enough for you), and we didn't act like we were put on this earth to be our children's personal secretaries, chauffeurs, or maids.

I remember when Amy was about 14 she wanted a sweatshirt with "something" written on it - you know, like Guess, Old Navy, or something. We didn't shop places where you could buy shirts with cutesy logos that screamed "we have more money than we know what to do with, so we're shopping at these high-priced stores." No sirree, we shopped at Wal-mart and K-mart. Sometimes, we shopped at the new "French" store in town - Target'. Or, if we were feeling really flush with money, "Jacques Penney" was our destination.

So, in order to help my child feel like she fit in with her friends and not feel like a social outcast - a true piranha of society - I took one of her sweatshirts and obligingly wrote "something" on it and said, "There, now you have a shirt with something written on it." She was not impressed. I thought the writing was very well done. I don't know what her problem was with it.

We "meanest moms" have to stick together. I think Amy may be working on the title for her generation. I can hardly wait. Check out "Mommy hurt my feelings" on Isaiah's blog to see what I mean.

Too good to be true…

When Shaun had to purchase his tickets outright to fly to N. Korea to meet his ship, he was told he could use the already purchased ticket as a voucher for ANYONE, at any time, during the next 12 months. The plan the was to use the money for me to fly out when the ship returned, and to either take Ron, Amy, or Isaiah. We decided I’d take Isaiah and then Amy will fly out at a bit later because she didn't want to take as much vacation time.

In the back of my mind, I was worried that it might be too good to be true. Turns out, I was right. Delta says that Shaun must purchase a ticket in his name – and THEN the remaining can be used as a voucher for anyone else. So, we found “fare deals” online for $59 one way. They won’t let the voucher be used for that. He has to purchase a full-fare ticket (in excess of $300 – that he won’t use) in order to be able to use the rest for someone else. Once he purchases a full-fare ticket, there's not enough money left to buy Isaiah and I each a ticket, and definitely none left over to put towards Amy's. None of us have the money to purchase tickets outright.

Shaun suggested turning the voucher back into the Navy and then asking for a reimbursement from them for the money he spent out of his pocket for the ticket to N. Korea. By the time that would happen, ticket prices will be out of sight and there’d be no way to do it anyway.

I’m disappointed but at least they'll be able to use the voucher when they fly home in October or November so we can all see the new baby.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Sticks and Stones...

May break my bones, but words will never hurt me.

That is such an untrue statement. I was listening to a radio message the other morning and that was the premise of the message. I got to thinking about how words hastily spoken can cause a lasting effect on someone. I am just as guilty as the next person of wishing I could retract something that I've said. I can't think of anything more more upsetting than to know my tongue has caused someone else pain.

I cannot recreate the pain I felt when I broke my shoulder at age 14. I cannot remember how much pain I was in when I had knee surgery. I do not know exactly how badly my shoulder hurt after I had rotator cuff surgery (although I do remember it was the most painful surgery I've ever had and I've had a few). I cannot precisely pinpoint how I felt after coming out of general anesthesia, during childbirth, or having a cut forehead sutured up. I can however, recreate the emotional pain I felt when told certain things during the same periods in time, and any other time. Human emotion is a strange thing. We're capable of deep feelings; joy, fear, remorse, sadness, exhilaration, contentment, and despair are just a few. Our bodies experience deep feelings as well, but our brains block out the memory of the pain. We remember that we were hurt, we remember that we were uncomfortable, but we don't remember the precise feelings. We would not be able to go on in life and function normally if we were unable to "forget" the exact feelings.

Why, then, are we unable to let go and forget the emotional pain? I don't know but it's something that I frequently struggle with. My goal each day is to be happy and content; to do so is often a choice - both mentally and physically (for body language needs to express contentment). But, just when I think I have a handle on the things in this life, something will trigger a memory, a perceived slight or injustice, and I find myself back in the same situation, reliving the details. Could I have done something differently? Did I really pick up on an actual event, or is my mind playing tricks and reading things that weren't there? Sometimes it is very hard to separate the facts from the fiction. I would think that most of us would not want to embellish negative periods in our life as that would increase the painful feelings. So when we are reliving an event, is it real or is it more perception than reality?

Those are things that we must identify, dissect, and let go of. Negative feelings do nothing for us except fester like a bad infection. The sooner we can cut out (or do away with) the infection, the better we'll be. There are things that I've said that I cannot go back and undo. I can only ask those that I've insulted and hurt to forgive my actions. I can only hope and pray that they do so.

I will do my best to not hurl words at people in the future.

Testing 1-2-3

Just testing out blogging from my cell phone. Pretty slick. I might enjoy having this feature.