A blast from the past... literally

I was cleaning out some boxes of things to put away in my new cabinet in my craft room/guest bedroom and came across an old(ish) newspaper clipping. I laid it down on the desk and pretty much forgot about it. Oh, I read it and remembered the article quite clearly, as it had featured Ron and I. What struck me was the date of the clipping. August 15, 1991. Since today is the 22^nd anniversary of that date, I decided that I would share it with you.

Background…

The local newspaper used to have a place in their “Celebrations” section where people could be profiled as a love story and was usually reserved for people who’d been married for a long time. (They still have the Celebrations section, but people pay to put announcements in there. It’s no longer considered news to be added by the paper. LOL!) I don’t remember the details, but I must have sent them a little tidbit of information and we were picked to tell our story. We went down to the paper to have our picture taken and a reporter did a little interview.

The result was this article. I had to laugh at the timing of me finding it. Oh, my glasses are pretty funny, too. I had more hair then. Darn it. I wonder where all that hair went. Ron looked good. He’s been so unhealthy for such a long time that it’s nice to see a picture of him looking good. At the same time, it’s a little sad. I know he’s still there but sometimes I forget that.

Our 29^th wedding anniversary is next week. I wasn’t sure we’d make it this far and often wonder if this will be our last one. But, I’ve wondered that before and we’re both still hanging in there.

One day at a time… Just one day at a time.

It's (a wet) Hump Day!

We have had so much rain here lately that my yard has been suitable for ducks. It needs to be mowed (maybe a thrashing machine would be more appropriate!) but I don't think it's going to dry out anytime soon for it to be mowed. My poor yard man! He's going to have his work cut out for him, that's for sure.

I've got a whole bunch of nothing going on these days. Ron is good, I am good, life is good. Can't complain about a thing. LOL - that's a novel idea, isn't it? There for a while I found it hard to find anything good to write about. While I'm sure it wasn't always pleasant reading what I wrote, writing it did help me keep my sanity. I'm sure some would argue that I did lose it and I surely need "help" but, I would beg to differ. The writing was my therapy. Oh sure - I still get worried about things, I continue to worry about Ron (he's doing quite well right now), I still sometimes overly stress about things I shouldn't. But, that is the way things go and I probably always will. I'm like the kid who wants everyone to like him/her. I don't like to not know what I can do to make things better and I usually end up making things worse. So, I have to just learn to take things in stride and not worry over things (and people) that I very obviously can't change.

A couple of weeks ago, I went to Atlanta for the Thirty-One Gifts National Convention. I had a blast! I was one of about 16,000 people there and just enjoyed the whole experience. I'd never been to anything like that before, so it was a very new experience. I did have a lot of balance problems (too much movement around me, poor lighting, etc.) but I had several ladies in my group who made sure that I didn't fall. I was so blessed.

Here are a couple of the pictures that were taken of me:

I let myself be in several other pictures but since they include other individuals, I didn't want to post them here without their permission.

Insurance woes?

I've found that this year has been the most difficult one for us with regard to filing insurance claims. It wasn't this difficult in years past. Is it because Ron has Medicare and a Medicare Supplement (Humana) - and has my employer-provided insurance, too? Is it because I have not only my employer-provided, but also Boeing retiree benefit insurance (this is a great policy and only $10 per month!)?  I don't know what it is, but when I got the information below I decided it was helpful information and that I'd provide it here. If you have any questions be sure to go to the link below.

Filing an insurance claim, be it health, car, home insurance, or workers comp, is exhausting and no doubt a daunting task especially for those who have never done it before. Most people are intimidated to do so not only because of utter lack of information, but just the amount of work - tons of paperwork, a lot of going back and forth with different people, long frustrating hours on the phone - will just about send anyone running for the hills. Well, it shouldn't be like that. If you have all the necessary information to back you up and if you know the correct person to talk to, then it wouldn’t be as complicated as it needs to be. Myclaimsource.com is an open resource for consumers looking for information on how to file a claim. You will find insurance providers’ contact information - phone, email address, mailing address, and website address listed on the site, tips and tricks, even discounts certain providers offer. The site also aims to be an open forum to connect those looking to file claims with people who already have, and who may be able to offer tips and advice on claim filing with a given provider. Drop by anytime and find the information you need on filing a claim. Hopefully, http://www.myclaimsource.com" will be able to help individuals make an informed decision and make the no-fun task of filing insurance claims a little easier.

Life is like that...

You can please some of the people some of the time but you can't please all of the people all of the time. And... you can't please some people no matter how hard you try.

Update on my main squeeze

Ron's doing pretty good. His potassium went down to 5.0 with the "acute care" treatment he got, but as soon as they stopped those medications it went right back up to 5.2. The doctor came in and we talked quite a bit. He's going to do some further testing - wants to check him for Addison's disease and other adrenal gland problems. They did a 24-hour urine collection and that testing showed the potassium is mainly coming from outside sources. That could mean medication and the only thing he's currently on that can increase potassium is Benicar (for high blood pressure). So, he's stopped that drug and increased the dosage of his other blood pressure medication.

In addition, he prescribed kayexalate oral medication, which is another drug that binds the potassium and flushes out of the body, in the form of "solid" waste. Ron wanted to come home because he's feeling better, but Doc said if he went home today at 5.2 he'd be back in the ER by Sunday or Monday at 5.7 or higher. He wants to get the potassium level below 5.0 and would prefer closer to 4.0. He did say the creatinine was going down, so that's another good sign. (I told Ron that it's not like we were going somewhere - we didn't have any plans that needed to be canceled. Sitting there and watching TV or sitting at home watching TV - not much difference...)

He says that Ron has Stage III kidney disease now. I think he's been in Stage III for quite a while. At Stage IV, they recommend dialysis. Ron says he won't do dialysis. We'll see... :) I can be very persuasive.

He was complaining that he wanted the IV out, he wanted the heart monitor off, he wanted blah, blah, blah... LOL - I finally told him to quit his bitching and that he wasn't the only person this affected when he was in the hospital or sick. That did shut him up and he apologized. I don't mean to be snarky with him, but this is exhausting to me, too.

I only stayed about three hours today but I'm so tired I can't see straight. I needed to do some housework, yard work, and laundry and the only thing I've managed to do is two loads of laundry. My house needs some TLC but I don't think it's going to be from me today! My herbs are growing and my tomato plants are growing, too. I have flowers in pots in the front of the house and they're doing quite well. I bought two more pots but too tired to do anything with them. Maybe tomorrow...

If the tests go well, and the potassium continues to go down, I expect Ron will come home tomorrow afternoon or Monday morning.

Well... it's that time AGAIN!

And what time might that be? Hospital time, of course!

Ron's managed to stay out of the hospital for a grand total of 18 weeks. That's 4.5 months. Doesn't sound like a long time, does it? It doesn't feel like one, either. In the 4.5 months that he's been home he's fallen three times (a couple of them could have been bad) and not felt too great overall.

He's in the hospital now because his potassium level was dangerously high. It's down some today but they're doing a 24-hour kidney function test since they think he's had too much trouble with his potassium lately. He doesn't drink more than the specified amount of liquids in a day, we stay away from the "known" high potassium foods (bananas, tomatoes, asparagus, broccoli, potatoes, etc.) as much as possible, and he's eating healthier at home (when he feels like eating). He doesn't "go" very much and it's really hard for him to get the job started and to finish. I frequently have to ask if he's OK in there. His blood pressure medication was changed (again) in January but that was after his last potassium problem. I'm not sure what the culprit is this time. Maybe his kidneys have finally decided they're done.

In addition to his regular problems, he's been having problems with his mouth, throat, and esophagus. He says they feel like they're on fire. He says he's having trouble swallowing and feels like food gets stuck half-way down. The doctor has scheduled an endoscope test for next week.

I feel like all I ever have to say is something negative. Or, I sound jaded and calloused. I'm not. I'm more tired of anything else and I feel guilty for being tired of this whole process.

Undercover Boss

We've been watching Undercover Boss just about ever since it started on the television. We've missed a few episodes but usually get them either on reruns or record to watch later.  The last couple of weeks have been looking at employees who were "Wow!" either in a bad way or a good way, and then bosses who have made a difference.

I recorded the show featuring the bosses and watched it today. I have to say the ones they profiled were episodes that I did watch and the bosses were really good. Some of the undercover outfits were hilarious (and I wondered how they ever pulled it off!) and I loved the looks on the faces when their real names/positions were revealed.

I think I was most impressed with Stephen Cloobeck of Diamond International Resorts. He actually did two undercover episodes (only one to do this) and although he is a stern employer, he was also the most generous to those he worked with. I was quite impressed. The world needs more bosses like him. Compassion for others is something you either are born with or not. You can't teach it.

He seems to have a lot of compassion of his employees and I was impressed to watch him.

Happy 35th Birthday to my son!

Through the years; not a great picture since
it's a picture of a scrapbook page.

I remember the day you arrived into this world as clearly if it was yesterday, and not nearly 35 years ago. It’s hard to believe that it’s been that long. You were late. As usual. LOL – you were late to a lot of things growing up so I guess you started the “tradition” early.

You’re lucky that you were born first. If I’d had Amy first, I might not have had any more children – or I’d have waited several years, like I did with Keith. She was such a handful since she got into everything so early. Walking, talking, having an opinion. But… this isn’t about her; it’s about you (her time will come).

I had such a hard time in labor and delivery that you had a lot of swelling on your head. I didn’t know it at the time, but it was quite serious and could have killed you. In fact, I found out a few weeks later that another baby with the same type of delivery problems had, indeed, died. Scary time that was!

Your difficulties didn’t stop at birth… You couldn’t tolerate any regular formula so we tried many different things before we settled on ProSobee for you. When you were five months old, you had to spend a week in the hospital. You’d lost two pounds in three days from diarrhea and the doctor did not know what was wrong. You’d only been on baby food for about a month – one new jar every day; you ate ½ at lunch and ½ at dinner and the rest was tossed. You ate vegetables and fruit – no meat. During the time you were sick (at least two weeks before you were finally admitted into the hospital), the doctor had me stop giving you anything except rice cereal, made fresh at each meal with formula. She thought the blandness of the rice would stop the diarrhea. It did not – it progressively got worse until you were having more “blow outs” than not and by the time I’d get you changed, you’d need to be cleaned up again. It was pitiful. You were in so much pain and I was helpless in how to make it better.

Once in the hospital, they discovered you had salmonella – a potentially deadly bacteria. Someone can get this disease from bad water, bad meat, or food that has gone bad in the jar. 1978 was before “use by” dates and there wasn’t really many ways to track what was eaten, but I knew that I’d only given you two types of food and a new jar every day. Beechnut baby food was the brand I used as it was a few pennies cheaper than Gerber. It’s thought that I had gotten some baby food that had gone bad on the shelf and no one knew it. By the time you got a diagnosis, I’d already thrown out anything that could be tested for bacteria.

Once you came home from the hospital, we started you on a new formula for “milk sensitive” babies… Neo Mull Soy was a brand of soy formula designed for children like you… those who couldn’t tolerate cow’s milk. Unfortunately, the formula had a key ingredient missing – sodium chloride. The formulation already called for a lower amount than recommended – it actually contained less than 2 measurements of chloride per liter, which is much less than the American Academy of Pediatrics’ recommendation of   11-29 measurements per liter. The company had stopped testing for sodium chloride several months before the change in formula so they were unaware of the sodium chloride level. Pediatricians were also unaware of the decreased amount. This resulted in life-long problems for babies and toddlers who relied on this for their nutrition.  These problems included crumbling teeth, stunted growth, higher-than-average incidence of convulsions, problems with speech, memory, and attention span, and learning disabilities. Some babies even died.  Some of those who were affected suffered brain damage so severe they were awarded millions of dollars in damages in lawsuits.  The formula was recalled in 1979 but not before it had already done damage to so many children. 

Imagine my horror to discover that I’d not only fed you tainted baby food, I’d also given you formula that would potentially affect your future. I felt like such a failure as a caretaker and a mom. I’d been given the best gift in the world, and I didn’t do the job that I should have. 

You were so hyperactive as a toddler and youth. It’s remarkable that you were able to function and learn at all. You are so remarkably smart, I wonder just how smart you’d be if you hadn’t experienced the things that probably set you back.  I wonder how much better you would have gotten along with your peers if you hadn’t taken that formula. I wonder how much higher in your career you’d be if you’d not had the earlier delays.

That is something I’ll wonder about for the rest of my life. I just hope that you can forgive me for my ignorance and the things that I did.

There are so many memories that I have of you as a baby, toddler, pre-teen, and teenager. You did everything “by the book” when you were a baby – crawled at approximately seven months, walked independently at approximately 12 months, etc. I could have written the developmental books myself just by watching you. I loved being a mom – your mom. 

I know that I didn’t always treat you fairly. I was not sure what to do a lot of times. You presented challenges that no one ever told me about. LOL – you didn’t come with an instruction book! I had my own issues that prevented me from being the mom that you deserved and, for that alone, I am sorrier than I can ever express. Dad has said so many times that if he could go back and be a better "dad" to you, he would do it in a heartbeat. We both did our best (at the time) but know that we failed a lot of the times.

What I can say on the positive side is that I was so proud of EVERY achievement you made. Walking, talking, projects in school (I still remember your “drawbridge” in you advanced class in grade school where the older kids copied your design), your drawings, and your remarkable memory and the ability to just “know” facts (like giraffes having seven cervical vertebrae, just like humans).  I was so proud of you for doing so well in Scholarsbowl and for receiving a “letter” for your work. I was extremely proud of you when you graduated.

When you joined the Navy, I know that I didn’t act like I thought you’d be successful. I have to admit, I was worried. You hadn’t been too successful at maintaining employment but I knew that if you set your mind to it, you’d be able to do it. I just wasn’t sure if your mind was really set on it or not.  I was so glad that I was proven wrong! I knew you had it in you – “if” you decided you wanted it. You had to prove yourself to a lot of people and you’ve done an OUTSTANDING job. Grandma and Grandpa were so very proud of you, too.

You scored so highly on the ASFAB that everyone was amazed, especially the recruiters. Going into Nuclear Power was a great career choice for you, and I think you've done a wonderful job. 

I am so proud to be your mom (and you know that Dad is EXTREMELY proud of you, too!)





So, on this celebration of your life, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! You've grown so much as a man, husband, and father!

Myer-Briggs Type Indicator

We took the Myer-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) test at work last month. I’ve taken it before and was curious if my results would be the same. It’s been years and a lot of things have happened since I took it last. Surprisingly, I came out with the same results (the numbers might have been different, but the results are the same).

How…

I focus my attention                (I) Introversion; People who prefer Introversion tend to focus their attention on the inner world of ideas and impressions.

I take in information:              (S) Sensing: People who prefer Sensing tend to take in information through the five senses and focus on the here and now.

I make decisions:                     (F) Feeling: People who prefer Feeling tend to make decisions based primarily on values and on subjective evaluation of person-centered concerns.

I deal with the outer world:     (J) Judging: People who prefer Judging tend to like a planned and organized approach to life and prefer to have things settled.

Characteristics frequently associated with this type include:

Quiet, friendly, responsible, and conscientious. Committed and steady in meeting their obligations. Thorough, painstaking, and accurate. Loyal, considerate, notice and remember specifics about people who are important to them, concerned with how others feel. Strive to create an orderly and harmonious environment at work and at home. (Data taken from MBIT Form M Report Form, copyright 1998 by Peter B. Myers and Katharine D. Myers.)

The following is taken from a Web site that defines “portraits” of the different personality types (www.personalitypage.com/html/portraits.html):

As an ISFJ, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you takes things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion. Your secondary mode is external, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your personal value system.

ISFJs live in a world that is concrete and kind. They are truly warm and kind-hearted, and want to believe the best of people. They value harmony and cooperation, and are likely to be very sensitive to other people's feelings. People value the ISFJ for their consideration and awareness, and their ability to bring out the best in others by their firm desire to believe the best.

ISFJs have a rich inner world that is not usually obvious to observers. They constantly take in information about people and situations that is personally important to them, and store it away. This tremendous store of information is usually startlingly accurate, because the ISFJ has an exceptional memory about things that are important to their value systems. (My kids would do well to remember this. Hahaha! I knew I was right!) It would not be uncommon for the ISFJ to remember a particular facial expression or conversation in precise detail years after the event occurred, if the situation made an impression on the ISFJ. (This is why I have trouble letting go of things.)

ISFJs have a very clear idea of the way things should be, which they strive to attain. They value security and kindness, and respect traditions and laws. They tend to believe that existing systems are there because they work. Therefore, they're not likely to buy into doing things in a new way, unless they're shown in a concrete way why its better than the established method.

ISFJs learn best by doing, rather than by reading about something in a book, or applying theory. For this reason, they are not likely to be found in fields which require a lot of conceptual analysis or theory. They value practical application. Traditional methods of higher education, which require a lot of theorizing and abstraction, are likely to be a chore for the ISFJ. The ISFJ learns a task best by being shown its practical application. Once the task is learned, and its practical importance is understood, the ISFJ will faithfully and tirelessly carry through the task to completion. The ISFJ is extremely dependable.

The ISFJ has an extremely well-developed sense of space, function, and aesthetic appeal. For that reason, they're likely to have beautifully furnished, functional homes. They make extremely good interior decorators. This special ability, combined with their sensitivity to other's feelings and desires, makes them very likely to be great gift-givers - finding the right gift which will be truly appreciated by the recipient. (I definitely see myself in this area. Except for the “beautifully furnished, functional home” part. LOL! Functional – yes… beautifully furnished – not hardly! I am a great gift-giver, though.)

More so than other types, ISFJs are extremely aware of their own internal feelings, as well as other people's feelings. They do not usually express their own feelings, keeping things inside. If there are negative feelings, they may build up inside the ISFJ until they turn into firm judgments against individuals which are difficult to unseat, once set. Many ISFJs learn to express themselves, and find outlets for their powerful emotions. (Amen!)

Just as the ISFJ is not likely to express their feelings, they are also not likely to let on that they know how others are feeling. However, they will speak up when they feel another individual really needs help, and in such cases they can truly help others become aware of their feelings.

The ISFJ feels a strong sense of responsibility and duty. They take their responsibilities very seriously, and can be counted on to follow through. For this reason, people naturally tend to rely on them. The ISFJ has a difficult time saying "no" when asked to do something, and may become over-burdened. In such cases, the ISFJ does not usually express their difficulties to others, because they intensely dislike conflict, and because they tend to place other people's needs over their own. The ISFJ needs to learn to identify, value, and express their own needs, if they wish to avoid becoming over-worked and taken for granted.

ISFJs need positive feedback from others. In the absence of positive feedback, or in the face of criticism, the ISFJ gets discouraged, and may even become depressed. When down on themselves or under great stress, the ISFJ begins to imagine all of the things that might go critically wrong in their life. They have strong feelings of inadequacy, and become convinced that "everything is all wrong," or "I can't do anything right." (Hey! Who has been peeking into my brain?)

The ISFJ is warm, generous, and dependable. They have many special gifts to offer, in their sensitivity to others, and their strong ability to keep things running smoothly. They need to remember to not be overly critical of themselves, and to give themselves some of the warmth and love which they freely dispense to others.

Jungian functional preference ordering:

• Dominant: Introverted Sensing
• Auxiliary: Extraverted Feeling
• Tertiary: Introverted Thinking
• Inferior: Extraverted Intuition

Anyone who knows me “might” find some of me in the portrait. Hmmm… Just maybe…  LOL!

 

Moving on...

I had a friend…

At least, I thought she was a friend. I’ve decided that after a year without any contact on her part that I was probably wrong.

I met this friend online and had many interesting conversations with her. I had (and still have) genuine affection for her and her family. I considered myself more than just an online acquaintance. I felt like we had a bond due to health issues on both sides of the fence. Hers and Ron’s… I never felt like one was in worse shape than the other; they both had their ups and downs and each illness is just as much of a concern as any other. I kept her and her family in my prayers and knew that she did the same for us.

When her mom passed away, I felt her pain and sympathized with her over the sudden loss. I remembered losing my dad just a few years earlier and knew that grief is a powerful feeling.

Anyone who has read very much of my blog knows that it’s been mostly about Ron’s health and my challenges in dealing with it. There have been several times that I wasn’t sure if he’d come home from the hospital or not. I tried to not dwell on these but – I am human – there were many times that what I wrote sounded like I was having a pity party for myself. Maybe I was… I can’t deny what was going on in my mind any more than I can deny what was going on in my life. This blog was created as an outlet for my frustrations and I never intended for it to reflect my “perfection” in any way. In fact, it shows more than not how imperfect I really am. I’m OK with that.

But, in all of that I wasn’t keeping score of who is or was in worse health – her or him. I just assumed that my comments on anything were interpreted as they were intended, not as a comparison. I got to where I was afraid to say anything about how she was feeling… if I said I was glad she was feeling better, or sorry that she was not feeling up to par, it was taken very differently than intended. Since I didn’t (and still don’t) know the details of her illness (except that it’s been up and down and she has a lot of issues, including hospitalizations), it was hard to phrase something that was on target so I kept dancing around the edges.

Unfortunately, my “dance” was met with snarky comments. Instead of understanding what I was trying to say, my comments were interpreted entirely differently. I didn’t know how to fix it so I got more cautious. Finally, last April – in the middle of an email conversation – I received a message that said she thought it best that we didn’t communicate for a while. Ron was “obviously” sicker than her and she just couldn’t provide the support that I needed. It was apparent that I had a good support system – plenty of friends reading my blog and on FB and that she just couldn’t give me what I needed and that there was no need to reply to her email (in fact, she would prefer that I didn’t).

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{screeching halt}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I had no idea that she thought I was demanding more of her than what she was capable of giving. In fact, I didn’t realize I was demanding anything of her. I thought we were two friends talking about how illnesses suck and, because of what is already going on in his body,  Ron has more problems to look forward to. Nothing more; nothing less.

So, I immediately read back over all of my email messages looking for where I went wrong, searching and analyzing each word to see if they could have been taken differently than what I intended. I could find nothing amiss. I apologized and said I was sorry that I’d offended her.  She replied back that she wasn’t offended but that she couldn’t talk to me for a while and to please respect her wishes to not contact her. (My apology was directly opposite of what she’d asked, but I did feel that if I’d offended her, an apology was in order.)

OK – I did that. For quite a while, even. One day, I decided that enough time had passed but it had not. She replied to the effect that she’d asked me to not contact her and there was no need for me to do so again. She was not mad, I didn’t offend her – she just didn’t want to communicate with me.

Still shaking my head, I complied. Oh, I still read her blog and still leave a comment here and there. We’re still “friends” on FB and I’d leave a comment every now and then – none of which have been acknowledged, even when I ask her a direct question. She took my blog off of her blog roll so she doesn’t know when I write an update (I supposed she might look occasionally or if someone tells her that I’ve written something).  

When my own mother passed away (almost exactly one year after hers), I received no message from her. (I did see she went and checked out my post on my mom’s death after I’d made a comment on one of her posts, but she didn’t leave a comment.) That in itself told me that I was the only one who (foolishly) thought we were still friends and that she just needed some time. It’s been a year now and I think that I’ll let go of this foolish notion.

I just don’t let go very easily. It doesn’t matter if you’re an “IRL” friend or an online friend – it’s hard to let go. I guess I need to put this poem into place, because it does perfectly explain it (not sure who actually wrote it so can’t give credit – sorry):

http://my.opera.com/poetry%20in%20motion/blog/2012/05/19/people-come-into-your-life-for-a-reason

People come into your life for a REASON, a SEASON or a LIFE TIME.

When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, It is usually to meet a need.
You have expressed.
They have come to assist you though a difficulty,
To provide you with guidance and support,
To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend and they are....
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
This person will say or do something to bring the relationship to and end.

Sometimes they die.
Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes the act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realized is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled,
Their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON.
Because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real.
But only for a season.

LIFE TIME Relationships teach you life time lessons things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.

You job is to accept the lesson. Love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and are as of your life.
It is said that Love is blind but Friendship is Clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life. Whether you were, a REASON, a SEASON or a LIFE TIME.

So... I wish her well in her life, improved health, and much happiness.