So far, so good

I currently have 98% in each of my classes for the items that have been graded. I was especially pleased to find that I received full credit (100 points) for a paper I wrote on gender roles. I had thought it was pretty good, but I am sort of biased. I do know when I write something that I'm totally unhappy with and then am very surprised when I get a good grade on it. My lowest score on a paper is 45 points out of 50, and I totally agree with it. It was NOT one of the better papers I've written. In fact, I knew when I submitted it that it was missing something - I just couldn't put my finger on it.

Now I know... It's missing five points of "quality" work. LOL!

Here is my Understanding Gender Roles paper...

“Gender, the sense of being male, or female, is well established by the time children reach the preschool years” (Feldman, 2009, p. 255). As children get older and mature, gender differences become more pronounced, from the types of play they engage in to the playmates they choose. Societal influences impact not only they types of play boys and girls choose, but also how they are rewarded, referred to, and what is expected of them during play. Boys are typically encouraged to take on more mentally challenging roles, while girls are usually encouraged to be compliant, polite, and to develop their personalities. Parents begin at an early age in the differences in their treatment of their children. Women tend to respond to both boys and girls differently than men, and both respond to girls differently than to boys.

Boys are expected to be rough and tough, while girls are supposed to be more demure, quieter, and prefer more domesticated types of play. Even in preschool-age children, they have very pronounced ideas of how each gender is supposed to act and are less tolerant of variations in their expectations (Feldman, 2009). Although hormone influence can’t be denied in gender development, it’s important to note that there may also be biological differences that exist within the brains of girls and boys. This biological difference may be caused by the differences in experiences between girls and boys. If girls are exposed to watching their mothers in active or athletic roles, and boys are exposed to watching their fathers take a more active role in the running of the house and with the children, then they’ll each grow up with the ideas that these are not necessarily “gender specific” roles and be more inclined to integrate both into their lives (Health Topics FAQs).

As children reach preschool age, they begin to show defined preferential treatment to others in their same gender class. Girls would rather play with other girls and boys would rather play with other boys. According to Freud, children at this age are going from the phallic stage into the Oedipal stage, which occurs around the age of five. Since boys have the fear of retaliation from their fathers because of their “sexual interest” in their mother, they take on more identity of their fathers and attempt to be as similar to them as possible (Feldman, 2009).

Girls, on the other hand, are seen to have developed envy of the male genitalia and, in an attempt to solve the dilemma, they develop stronger bonds with their mother and begin to emulate their activities and actions. Based on the tendency of girls and boys to bond with their same-sex parent, they continue to pass down the gender expectations from one generation to the next.

Many researchers believe that learned gender influence can start at a much younger age than five and even occurs in households with only one parent (Feldman, 2009). In addition, not all gender influences are positive. Because the strongest influences on perceived gender roles are parents, both positive and negative influences have the potential to be passed down. If children grow up in abusive environments, they have the potential of repeating the same activities as adult (Health Topics FAQs).

Even television and movies tend to play into the gender specificity connotation. Many shows portray the victims as female, softer and in need of being rescued. Males, on the other hand, are often portrayed as the hero, or the villain, or some other potentially “strong” individual.

One way to help overcome gender-specific roles and assumptions is to shoot for more androgynous activities – those that cross both sides of the spectrum. By encouraging boys to view typical “female” traits as non-feminine and acceptable, and by encouraging girls to view typical “male” traits as less male-appropriate, then each gender will be more inclined to accept the others on a more individual basis instead of “because he’s a boy” or “because she’s a girl” in their interactions (Feldman, 2009).

References:
Feldman, R. (2009). Social and Personality Development in the Preschool Years. In Development Across the Life Span (5th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education International.
Health Topics FAQs. (n.d.). Gender roles. Retrieved from http://www.faqs.org/health/topics/8/Gender-roles.html

My Father - My Hero

Every little girl (at least the little girls I know) considers her dad to be her hero, in some way or another. I was no different. Although my dad and I didn't always get along and I didn't always agree with his parenting style or his actions, he was still a hero to me. My dad had a rough road to travel and he had obstacles on every path. He started his life with my mom when he was just 18 years old (and she was just barely 19). They would have celebrated 60 years of marriage this year (September 8). I said "would have" because today is the 4th anniversary of his death. They brought seven children into this world and ushered one out far too early in her life. They weathered many heartaches, trials, and tribulations. He was loved, scorned, hated, admired, disrespected, and venerated many times in his life.

My dad was not a “giant” of a man, but when he walked into a room his presence was felt and he made himself known. When he spoke, you listened. When he was mad, he was very mad. But when he was soft and gentle, he was very soft and gentle. Holly Dunn had a hit song with “Daddy’s Hands” several years ago and it was very much something that could be related to my dad…

“Daddy’s hands… were soft and kind when I was crying
Daddy’s hands… were hard as steel when I done wrong
Daddy’s hands weren’t always gentle but I’ve come to understand,
There was always love in Daddy’s hands.”

When he died, it left a void in the lives of everyone. My mom spent 56 years with him and has missed him terribly. There were many times during that timeframe where leaving would have been easier, but they were dedicated to each other and sticking it out was the right thing to do.

Amy and Shaun were both on active duty when he died and although Amy got to come home, Shaun did not. His ship was off the Gulf Coast helping Katrina victims. The Navy has a poem they read at the retirement of personnel and Amy took it and modified it for my dad, who was in the Air Force when he was younger. It’s called The Watch and she read it at his funeral. It was very touching.

The Watch

For years
This airman has stood the watch

While some of us were in our beds at night,
This airman stood the watch

While some of us were in school learning our trade,
This airman stood the watch

Yes…even before some of us were born into this world
This airman stood the watch


In those years when the storm clouds of war were seen brewing on the horizon of history
This airman stood the watch

Many times he would cast an eye ashore and see his family, stand there
Needing his guidance and help
Needing that hand to hold during those hard ties
But he still stood the watch

He stood the watch for years
He stood the watch so that we, our families, and
Our fellow countrymen could sleep soundly in safety,
Each and every night, knowing that an airman stood the watch

Today we are here to say,

“Airman…the watch stands relieved,
Relieved by those you have trained, guided, and lead
Airman, you stand relieved… We have the watch.”

We were fortunate that my dad lived as many years as he did. In the spring of 1987 he had a quadruple bypass, followed by a heart attack in July 1987. If he had not had the bypass he would not have survived the heart attack. The next 18 years were filled with heart problems, stents, a pacemaker, and a couple of heart attacks. Each time he got sick and was near death, he’d bounce right back and come home from the hospital.

So, when he went into the hospital on August 20, 2005 we all expected that he would once again bounce right back and come home. He didn’t. He got progressively weaker and was transferred to a nursing home for “rehab” but we all knew that there was really no way to rehab a worn-out heart and it would be just a matter of time.

The nursing staff went in and spoke to him at 6:15 that morning; when they went back at 6:45 to give him a washcloth for breakfast, he was gone - In a flash, the blink of an eye, a single heartbeat.

Even though you’re as prepared as possible for an event such as this, you’re really not. You just pick up the pieces as best as you can and move forward. He got to see the first great-grandchild born into the family, but there are seven of them now.


He was baptized in February 2005 so my mom has that comfort to lean upon. She will see him again when her time here is also done and that gives her peace.

It's Trimspa, Baby!

Wasn’t that Anna Nicole’s line when she started advertising for Trimspa? I thought it was pretty corny until I decided I was going to use it. Now, when something is really spectacular, “it’s Trimspa, baby!”

Speaking of Trimspa, there’s a new forum out there (www.trimspapr.com) and it’s chock full of weight loss tips and motivational stories. Trimspa is now available for purchase online and is supposed to be back in stores later this month or early next. It does not have ephedrine in it so it sounds pretty safe. In fact, I’ve ordered some and it should be here later this week.

Our family reunion is Sept 20 and I had hoped the pills would have gotten here earlier (I ordered them about six weeks ago) so there’d be the “WOW” factor when family member saw me, I’m still about 15 pounds lighter than I was last year at our reunion. I have to admit that I haven’t worked as hard at losing weight this year as I did last year, but I’m ready to get back on the wagon and shed the remaining 30-40 pounds (I’m flexible – if 40 happens, great; if 30 happens, great).

I think the Trimspa will really help me in the mindless snacking that I’ve noticed me doing. I’m not hungry, but when I study or write I want to be snacking on something. Since I’m spending more time on the computer at home (doing school work) I am constantly looking for something I can chew on. Even low-calorie, low-fat stuff can be too much if you overdo it. {sigh} So, enter Trimspa.

School Update

I've survived three weeks of school and I've been much busier than I thought I'd be. I knew I'd be busy but there is a lot of writing, which I'm a bit out of practice with. LOL, I know that sounds funny being a technical writer, but it's a totally different type of writing.

I have gotten 100% on all the papers and discussion questions that have been graded. I've missed one point on one quiz and two points on the second quiz. I'm happy with that. The one point I missed on the first one was something I just didn't know; the other two was because I flip-flopped the answers in a multiple-choice environment. After re-reading the questions and the possible answers, I'm not sure I would have changed my answer. They were close in definition.

This term has three more weeks and I know there is a lot left to do. I believe that I can do it.

Birthday Wishes and Weekend Fun

My birthday was a really nice day. We met our friends early (after breakfast) and headed for Fantastic Caverns. Debbie has a knack for getting sidetracked, so we ended up at Tanger Mall. That was OK (she asked before she told her husband that we might want to go there) because I wanted to go anyway. I went into the kitchen store to pick up a couple of things for my coffee pot. Then, we headed to the caverns. The caverns were very interesting.

Next up, a trip to the Z-Coil shoe store. Debbie has worn those type of shoes for about six months and they have made a big difference in the pain in her feet and knees. We decided it was worth a shot for Ron. These people were so nice, they sold him one shoe from one box and one shoe from another (size 11 and size 12). I've never seen anyone offer to do that. Of course, they were not cheap but even his orthotic shoe guy wouldn't order him one in each size. They adjusted the coils and Ron wore them for about six hours. I need to check his feet for blisters or uneven wear but I think once he gets used to the spring action, he'll walk better. He already said the left knee was not as painful.

Then, we went to Lambert's for lunch. LOL, after we waited for an hour, it was more like an early dinner. That's OK, it was delish. Debbie and Ron each had fried chicken, Debbie's husband (Herb) and I each had prime rib. We had a great dinner. I got mine mostly free ($9.99) and it was very good. The "pass arounds" for the day were fried okra, black-eyed peas, and fried potatoes with onions. Very good. Oh- and can't forget the "throwed rolls" as that is one of their signature items. They've definitely got a great recipe for their rolls.

Later, we went to the Hollywood Wax Museum and had a pretty good time. I was a bit disappointed in some of the art and thought that many of the recreations were less-than realistic. I did love the Forrest Gump display and had to have my picture taken with him.

On Sunday, we went to the Titanic exhibit. I was totally bowled over by the quality of the replica of the ship and the interior sections they've created. It was really sobering to see the photos of people as they're loading up the ship and getting ready to head out, knowing that many of them did not survive. As we boarded, we each got a boarding pass of someone on the ship. The people Debbie and I had both survived, but those that Ron and Herb had did not.

They didn't allow any photography inside but they did take our pictures and superimpose them in a few places. I went ahead and bought the package of pictures so I'd have something to put in my scrapbook.

Anniversary update

Our trip to KC on Saturday was a lot of fun. We went to my mom's house and then on to the restaurant. We ate at Buca di Beppo on the Plaza. It is in the basement of the building and goes a full city block UNDER the street and parking garage. There were so many rooms that when I took my mom to the restroom, we made a wrong turn coming back. They had to get her a chair so she could rest before we made the rest of the trek back to the table. Ron had to sit on the way to the table the first time and then barely made it to sit down at the elevator. When we called to ask about handicap accessibility, they directed us to where the elevator entrance was, but no one said there would be a 1/2 mile walk to the table. My mom and Ron barely made it in or out. But, the food was excellent. I doubt we'll go back, but it was a nice place to visit once.

I'm a bit concerned about Ron. He's got the shakes really bad this week. His whole right side was shaking the other night and it comes and goes. He has trouble resting when he shakes like that and I do, too because he sometimes shakes the bed. I don't know what to expect from his medical condition anymore. It changes so much all the time. He has us worried. I think he is tired of living this way but we don't have a clue how to improve it.

I'm making plans for him to get out and do things, hoping that it gives him a reason to look forward to a new day. We're going to Branson for the weekend with friends and I know he's looking forward to it. I'm just praying every day that he still feels like going come Friday afternoon.

Blessed Beyond Measure

It's been 25 years and I am blessed beyond measure. I have been lucky enough to spend the last quarter-century with my soul-mate, my best friend, my strongest supporter, and the one who has given meaning to so much in my life and the lives of my children. I thank God that He brought me to Wichita, KS and steered me to the only apartment complex in town that would work out for us.

We've changed a lot in 25 years but that's the way it's supposed to be. We've each got a bit less hair than we had then and a few more pounds, but I still see the same man I married and I hope he still sees the same "girl" I was way back then, but with more wisdom and maturity than I possessed then. Growth is awkward and sometimes painful, but it must take place for life to be lived to its fullest measure.

We've had a lot of trials in 25 years – and a lot of wonderful experiences that I wouldn't trade for all the money in the world, even if it meant re-living the trials.

In 25 years we have learned to…
not sweat the small stuff – it will still be there tomorrow

Budget – and adjust the budget – again and again

Buy a few cars together and make a few mistakes along the way

Deal with many surgeries and life-threatening events. We've sat together for many hospitalizations and doctor appointments

Learn how to be poor an hour after we've been paid

Make our house a home – no matter where it was

Laugh lots - and often

Say good-bye to loved ones

Support each other in decisions that affected the whole family – even if we weren't 100% sure it would work out. They usually did but there were some bumps along the way.

Raise a blended family of six kids who love each other and consider each other siblings.

Stick it out even when leaving might have been the easier thing (at the time) to do. We both knew that we were here for each other for the long haul and did what it took to make it work.

Work together in all that we did

Compromise

Give 150%

Grow in love daily

Laugh at our mistakes, pick ourselves up, and proceed

Yes, we have physically changed a great deal in the last 25 years, but the one thing that has never changed is that we love each other. In fact, if it has changed at all, the love and respect we feel for each other has just deepened.

25 years is BIG

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I am looking forward to going to Branson but my mind thinks that something else should be going on, too. I remember my parents having a big 25th anniversary bash and one of my brothers (besides me, the only one to be married 25 years to the same person) had a big bash for his 25th. I feel a bit of a letdown. Spending the weekend with Ron (and we’re meeting some close friends there) will be really nice but celebrating this event with my family is also important.

Number 1 – no one thought we’d make it 25 months, let alone 25 years.
Number 2 – it’s a miracle that Ron is still alive to be able to celebrate at all.
Number 3 – I don’t have a good number 3, but didn’t want to stop with just two. {grin}

My mother’s health is too frail to come down here for a celebration and most of my siblings would probably not be able to make it. One will probably have to work, one will probably have to take his daughter to soccer/basketball/softball, etc. practice or tournaments, and one will probably just not reply at all. Plus, I have a couple of nephews who I’d like to invite so it would just be easier on everyone that if I want to celebrate I take the celebration there.

We could go to dinner but the tab but it would definitely be a BYOD (buy your own dinner). I’d like to go to The Melting Pot but it is very expensive (that’s what I’ve been told – never been there) and Ron probably would not enjoy it. I would thoroughly enjoy it but not sure that my mom or my husband would enjoy it. LOL – and I know that Isaiah would not. He’s way too picky.

So - I gave Amy the task of setting up some kind of celebratory dinner in KC, maybe down on the Plaza. Someplace nice enough to be special but not so nice that we can't afford it. We can also celebrate my mom's 79th birthday and my birthday as well. Actually, if we get right down to it, there's another anniversary and at least two more birthdays we could also be celebrating at the same dinner.

I'm looking forward to the big celebration.

Fantastic Caverns Trivia

When I told my mom that we were going to Fantastic Caverns for our anniversary, she gave me some interesting information...

Seems my great-grandfather (Richard Dowdy) and two of his sons (Claude and Ed) ran a Speakeasy in the caves during Prohibition. There's a building on the property that is now a community center, but it was the school my grandfather attended.

Very interesting...

Navy Poem

Amy was, and Shaun still is, in the Navy. I have been blessed to be able to spend time with each of them on their respective ships and I thoroughly loved it. I wished many times that I had followed the path of joining the military after I got my Associate Degree in Applied Science. I had plans to join the Air Force but my parents talked me out of it. There were a lot of extenuating circumstances as to why they didn't want me to go but I have been sorry most of my adult life that I didn't just "do it" anyway.

Amy has a new siggy line on her email that I thought was excellent. When I sent her the comment, she sent me the whole poem. It's so awesome that I had to post it here. I don't know who the author is and Amy didn't know who the author is. If anyone DOES know, I'd love to give him/her credit for it. It's an awesome piece.

I Was a Sailor Once

I liked standing on the bridge wing at sunrise with salt spray in my face and clean ocean winds whipping in from the four quarters of the globe.

I liked the sounds of the Navy - the piercing trill of the boatswains pipe, the syncopated clangor of the ship's bell on the quarterdeck, harsh, and the strong language and laughter of sailors at work.

I liked Navy vessels -- plodding fleet auxiliaries & service ships like the Ute and Emory S Land...and amphibs like Inchon and, sleek submarines like Haddock, Amberjack, & Finback and those steady solid aircraft carriers.

I liked the proud names of Navy Carriers: Midway, Lexington, Saratoga, Coral Sea, Lake Champlain, Valley Forge - - memorials of great battles won and tribulations overcome. I liked the lean angular names of Navy "tin-cans" and escorts like Spruance & Maddox - mementos of heroes who went before us.

And the others like San Jose, Los Angeles, St. Paul, & Chicago named for our cities and those named for counties like Harlan County and Park County

I liked the tempo of a Navy band.

I liked liberty call and the spicy scent of a foreign port.

I even liked the never ending paperwork and all hands working parties as my ship filled herself with the multitude of supplies, both mundane and to cut ties to the land and carry out her mission anywhere on the globe where there was water enough to float her.

I liked sailors...officers and enlisted men from all parts of the land, farms of the Midwest, small towns of New England, from the cities, the mountains the prairies, the swamps & the deserts...from all walks of life. I trusted and depended on them as they trusted and depended on me - for professional competence, for comradeship, for strength and courage. In a word, they were "shipmates"; then and forever.

I liked the surge of adventure in my heart, when the word was passed: ''Now Hear This'' or "Now set the special sea and anchor detail - all hands to quarters for leaving port", AND, I liked the infectious thrill of sighting home again, with the waving hands of welcome from family and friends waiting pier side.

The work was hard and dangerous; the going rough at times; the parting from loved ones painful, but the companionship of robust Navy laughter, the "all for one and one for all" philosophy of the sea was ever present.

I liked the serenity of the sea after a day of hard ship's work, as flying fish flitted across the wave tops and sunset gave way to night.

I liked the feel of the Navy in darkness - the masthead and range lights, the red and green navigation lights and stern light, the pulsating phosphorescence of radar repeaters - they cut through the dusk and joined with the mirror of stars overhead. And I liked drifting off to sleep lulled by the myriad noises large and small that told me that my ship was alive and well, and that my shipmates on watch would keep me safe.

I liked quiet mid-watches with the aroma of strong coffee -- the lifeblood of the Navy permeating everywhere.

And I liked hectic watches when the exacting minuet of haze-gray shapes racing at flank speed kept all hands on a razor edge of alertness.

I liked the sudden electricity of "General quarters, general quarters, all hands man your battle stations," followed by the hurried clamor of running feet on ladders and the resounding thump of watertight doors as the ship transformed herself in a few brief seconds from a peaceful workplace to a weapon of war -- ready for anything.

And I liked the sight of space-age equipment manned by youngsters clad in dungarees and sound-powered phones that their grandfathers would still recognize.

I liked the traditions of the Navy and the men and women who made them. I liked the proud names of Navy heroes: Halsey, Nimitz, Perry, Farragut, John Paul Jones and Burke. A sailor could find much in the Navy: comrades-in-arms, pride in self and country, mastery of the seaman's trade. An adolescent could find adulthood.

In years to come, when sailors are home from the sea, AND SO WE ARE,--We still remember with fondness and respect the ocean in all its moods - the impossible shimmering mirror calm and the storm-tossed green water surging over the bow. And then there will come again a faint whiff of stack gas, a faint echo of engine and rudder orders, a vision of the bright bunting of signal flags snapping at the yardarm with Sailors "manning the rail" in dress uniforms, a refrain of hearty laughter in the wardroom and chief's mess and on the mess decks.

Gone ashore for good we grow humble about our Navy days, when the seas were a part of us and a new port of call was ever over the horizon.

Remembering this, WE stand taller and say, "I WAS A SAILOR ONCE."
-Unknown