Medicare and Insurance {blech}

Insurance is a wonderful thing. Negotiating your way through the various offerings, what they cost, and what they cover can be a true nightmare.

Take Medicare, for example. I don’t know why it has to be so complicated. I’ve talked to countless companies (Blue Cross, AAA, and Humana just to name a few); I’ve been to a few Web sites (including the official Medicare site) and could only get one to actually send a representative out to talk to us. Everyone else wanted me to just go out to their Web site and figure out the best coverage that I could get for Ron. Right now, he’s on my group plan at work but because he is turning 65 in January, he’s eligible to take out the supplemental plans with no medical questions being asked. For him, that’s a big deal. If I keep him on my group plan, he might not qualify later. But, my issue isn’t really the monthly premium (although paying over $300 per month to insure just him is not in my financial comfort zone, especially with “donut-hole” amounts for prescriptions on top of that, plus co-pays and deductibles) – it’s the prescription cost. Medicare supplemental plans have what is called a “donut-hole” in them. Drug coverage is up to a certain dollar amount and then you pay fully out-of-pocket until you reach another certain dollar amount. Then you go happily along until you hit another level and then you fall into that hole once again – only it’s larger this time. Once you crawl out of that hole, you can “hope” that the rest of the year your hole is no longer a crater-sized hole.

Right now, on my group plan, we pay $250 per month for the two of us (I know, that’s a great premium and I’m not complaining). The coverage is adequate for most people. I have a $1750 per person deductible and $7000 maximum out-of-pocket per family. Since April, I’ve met the deductible for both of us (that’s $3500) and I’m well on the way to meeting the $7,000 maximum for the year. After you meet your deductible, insurance pays 80% of reasonable and customary, leaving the other 20% for us. That has added up to another chunk of change (going toward the $7,000 amount). Prescriptions are $17 for generics (90 day supply in most instances) and between the two of us, we have 24 generic prescriptions. Doing the math - $17 * 24 * 4 – it amounts to over $1600. Insulin (this is the kicker) is $180 for 90-day supply – but he takes two different kinds, so that is $360 for 90-day supply. That math is over $1400. Added to the generic costs, our prescription out-of-pocket for the year is easily over $3,000. Just the premium ($3,000), plus the deductible ($3,500), plus the prescription costs ($3,000) put quite the bite in our finances (just in case you thought I was just out here blowing my money on trips and things… hahaha). Add in the co-pays and you have the potential to be spending a lot of money medically (just this week I found out the co-pay on Ron’s new socket liners is over $350 so I should be seeing a bill for that any time; just got another co-pay bill for $1298 and they’d like their money in full but will let me make 4 equal payments {choke, choke}).

Medicare will take $99 out of his Social Security check beginning in January (he will get a 1.7% raise on his check but that is nowhere close to $99). I could decline Part B but I’m not sure that it is a good idea to do that. Supplemental policies that I’ve looked at are up to $160 per month. Part D (the drug plan) plans are anywhere from $20 and up (one I looked at last night was $44). So, now I’m up to a little over $300 just for Ron’s insurance. One particular plan has no co-pay and no deductible. That’s good… a savings of $1750 right off the bat. Prescription co-pays are lower (mostly) but right off the bat, in January (because of the cost of insulin) we would fall into one donut-hole – our out-of-pocket for the month would be over $1400. Yikes! I don’t really “have” $1400 in January for prescriptions. February and March, we’re OK but in April it’s a CRATER – forget the donut-hole. Out-of-pocket estimates are in excess of $2300 for his meds for the month of April. Seriously? $2300??? Well, if I don’t have $1400 in January, you can bet your bippy that I don’t have $2300 in April either. (Plus, I’m sure there is something about federal income taxes that will hit me then…) In a nutshell, the annual costs for the insurance plus his prescription out-of-pocket is roughly $7600 (the best combination of medical and prescription coverage) but not sure that includes what the government will charge for Part B (which is another $1188). If we changed how his insulin is given (vials instead of pens – and I’d just have to draw up the syringes and leave them in the fridge for him), it might save us a little bit of money. The above out-of-pocket assumes that I would be refilling ALL of his prescriptions in January, April, July, and October. They don’t really fall that way so the dollars would fall a bit differently but still be substantial in the months we had prescriptions filled.

So, do I save any money by putting him on Medicare? If I took him off my group plan at work, I’d go back to my policy that I get as a benefit from him retiring from Boeing. The premium is… $10 (yes, that is a “ten”) per month. No deductible. $10 office call co-pay. Generics are $7 per month. That’s a big savings for my coverage but taking into consideration that his premiums and such would go up, not an overall savings. I think in the grand scheme of things, it would be a savings but maybe the overall amounts wouldn’t fall in such a way that it would benefit us.

I don’t know why the whole thing is so darn complicated. Why do we have to have a donut hole (or crater)? Why can’t it just be we pay X amount for prescriptions each month, every month, and not fall into those high dollar situations? It’s enough to make you want to stop taking medications. I can see why seniors sometimes have to choose to eat or to take their meds as prescribed. I can definitely see us cutting back just to stretch things a bit more. Getting (and staying) healthier is a smart move, but it’s already too late for Ron. The best he can do is maintain (and his A1C, which measures your glucose levels over a three month average, is down to 5.9%, which is outstanding; anything before 7 is diabetic in excellent control). His creatinine and potassium levels are excellent so what we’re doing is working. We just have to keep that up.

Back in the swing of things

Sort of...

I am so grateful for the messages of sympathy and support from my friends (both IRL and blogging). You all cannot imagine how much I appreciated all of your messages. You never know until something like this happens who your real friends are and who are the ones who disappear. I'm sure we've all experienced things like that.

The time following my mom's passing and up to the funeral seemed to go by so quickly and also to just crawl. I didn't want to say good-bye. I wanted to hear her voice one more time. I wanted to tell her how much I loved her one more time. Thursday (the 27th) she was still pretty alert and was having a lot of cramping in her left foot. It wasn't much but I was able to rub her foot when a cramp would hit and help it to go away. I get these same kind of toe cramps and I know how badly they hurt; the only real relief is to get up and walk it out. One time, it must have been too bad because she very clearly said, "let go." By Friday, she was pretty much unresponsive  and had mostly quit talking. I spent a lot of Friday afternoon and evening alone with her and I was able to talk to her quite a bit. I'm sure she heard and understood but she didn't really say anything. I know she was really uncomfortable and in a lot of pain so I made sure the nurses kept her pain medicine coming as often as she was able to have it and when she needed it.

My mom loved hummingbirds and always had one or two feeders up, plus she had a bird bath in her yard. My kids went together and bought this for me in memory of my mom. I was really touched and I think it's just beautiful.

The last week has been busy (getting back into the swing of things at work) but my mind hasn't been able to come to grips with the finality of "good-bye" and keeping the good memories front and center. Like her birthday present...In the last couple of years, Mom developed a liking for the slots at the casino. It was the one piece of entertainment she could do, she could afford it, and she could forget how badly she felt and how little quality of life that she had. She didn't look at it as gambling - she was just entertaining herself. I gave her $40 to spend on the Wheel of Fortune game and she smiled so big when I gave it to her - just like a kid in a candy store! She had a great time that day and I am so glad that I was able to go with her that last time (I was supposed to go back to KC the weekend of 9/16 and my sister and I were going to take her on my way back home).

I need to get back into a normal routine. Ron's doing OK - not great, but OK. His short-term memory is my biggest complaint right now. He just doesn't remember things that he needs to. Sometimes he acts like a child instead of an adult and that frustrates me quite a bit. He gets something in his head or on his mind and he just doesn't let go. He's been like this his whole life but lately it's been much worse. He'll interrupt people to ask questions or to have someone get him something or do something for him. He frustrates me a great deal these days. I told him Sunday that I didn't like us very well sometimes. I don't like feeling like this. I'm sure a lot of it is me - I'm short on patience these days.

In Loving Memory

Patricia (Pat) JoAnne (Dowdy) Keesee of Kansas City, MO (Northland) entered the arms of Jesus on Saturday, September 29, 2012, at Kindred Hospital. Visitation will be from 6:00-8:00 PM Wednesday, October 3 at D.W. Newcomer’s Sons White Chapel Memorial Gardens, Gladstone. Funeral Services will be Thursday, October 4, 2012 at 10:00 AM at White Chapel with burial following. In lieu of flowers, the family suggests contributions can be made to the American Diabetes Association.

Pat was born in Kansas City, MO on August 27, 1930 to Agnes Maude (Turner) and William G. Dowdy, Sr. She retired from Southwestern Bell Telephone Company in March 1987 after 30 years of service. Pat was a former member of the Northland Optimist Club and was recognized by the Salvation Army Consistent Giving Hero Society. Pat was preceded in death by her husband, William (Bill) Keesee; a daughter, Kathryn Anne (Keesee) Gold; a grandson, Justin Teal Roberts; her parents; and three brothers, Glen Dowdy, John Dowdy, and Robert Dowdy. Pat is survived by three sons and three daughters; William Richard Keesee (Susie), Robert Franklin Keesee (Kathy), Teresa Gayle Williams (Ron), Jerry Ray Keesee (Leasa), Valerie Michelle McKim (Mike), and Kristina Renee Page; one brother and two sisters, Gerald Dowdy, Lois Wells, and Judy Loman; 22 grandchildren; 27 great-grandchildren, as well as numerous nieces and nephews.

Pat and Bill met in the courtyard at the Alamo in San Antonio, TX, in January, 1949 while she was on vacation and he was on a one-day pass from basic training at Lackland Air Force Base. Pat was standing with a group of people when this Airman approached her and asked if she would take a picture with him. Thinking he was the cutest guy she had ever seen, she said yes. Pat and Bill had their photo taken together before they even knew the other’s name. They were married on September 8, 1949 and lived a love story that lasted over 56 years. Pat had recently relocated to the Garden Village Independent Senior Living community, where she was a well-loved resident. She was a much-loved mother and grandmother, and an amazing great-grandmother (GG) to all of her great-grandchildren. Grandchildren and great-grandchildren alike will all treasure the memories they created with her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just how do you say goodbye to the most amazing, wonderful mother in the world? I don't know. I don't know how I'm going to do it. I already miss her - I miss the telephone calls and the visits and I know I'll miss watching her at Hollywood. The back-and-forth late night Facebook conversations... I'll cherish them all, especially my birthday message. I knew that I could talk to her anytime that I wanted to and could take her phone calls anytime she wanted to call. Heaven is a "long distance" call that I'd love to be able to make. I know that she was welcomed with open arms, hugs, and much rejoicing by those who have gone ahead of her. It's those of us left behind who will have to figure out a way to make it through our days without her presence, humor, and conversations. My mom and dad have left such a legacy in their children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. There's not any one person who ever crossed her path who wasn't affected in some way or another by her presence. She loved us all unconditionally and accepted us - faults and all - without reservation. I know that we all disappointed her at one time or another but she never held our shortcomings against us. She set a great example for others to try to live up to. She left some big shoes to fill and I don't think any of us will ever measure up. God knew that it was time for His earthly angel to come home.

So, I get home from work last night and decide to leave my car in the drive because I decided that I was going to surprise Ron with a trip out to run some errands and get dinner. It’s been a while since I’ve taken him anywhere and he likes to go grocery shopping with me. I don’t like to take him because I’m an “in and out” kind of shopper and he s.h.o.p.s. – sllllooooowwwwwlllllyyyy. I’d rather take a list of what he’d like to have and then decide which items on the list I’m going to let him have. That sounds terribly mean but I like to keep his snacks as healthy as possible during the week. I get protein bars, yogurt, granola, fruit, animal crackers, cheese sticks, and sometimes – very rarely – some kind of chip or cracker for him to eat. He also likes peanut butter on crackers, so I try to keep some on hand for him.

I had tried to call him earlier in the day to get his wants and desires but he didn’t answer his phone. It’s having problems so I wasn’t too surprised. Since I was already going to have to go home to make the list, I decided that I’d just surprise him and take him with me. Since I didn’t park in the garage, I didn’t open the door to the utility room/kitchen but went in through the front door (if I had gone through the garage, I would have seen the mess right away). Immediately, I spot an Oxy Clean stain stick on the table by Ron’s chair. That cannot be good news because that means he spilled something somewhere and was trying to erase the evidence, I mean clean up after himself.

Ron: You’re home too early.

Me: Why do you say that?
Him: Well, I had a little accident.
Me: I see that. What did you do?
Him: I dropped the peanut butter. (Note: This was “natural” peanut butter in a glass jar from the health food store, so it was really oily in one layer and then the “peanut” portion was another layer.)
Me: What were you doing? (By now, I’m a little bit irritated – really quite a bit irritated – because we’ve had multiple discussions about him eating snacks in his chair in the living room. He has access to more than one area to eat but he can’t see the television from those spots. Ugh!)
Him: I was bringing the peanut butter and crackers in here for a snack and I dropped it. (The crackers are in a plastic tub with a lid, so in one hand, he was trying to carry a tub of crackers, a knife, and a jar of peanut butter. In the other hand, he had his cane. Of course, he has to wear his prosthetic leg when he’s walking but lately he’s not been wearing his left shoe/brace insert and has been going barefoot. We just spent $70 on a new pair of lightweight shoes so it would be easier and more comfortable for him to walk around the house. He’s lost his balance before when barefoot and has fallen more than once. The most recent was about three weeks ago when he fell and cracked a couple of ribs and broke the legs off of a Lazy Boy recliner from landing on it so hard.)

During this conversation, I’ve been setting my stuff down and looking at the floor by his chair and noticed blood. Lots of blood. (I’d just cleaned the carpet Sunday after I came home from Kansas City because he’d bled a big spot from not knowing that he’d scratched his foot. Amy and Rex had been there and as I came in she said she was just cleaning up for me. I had to borrow their small carpet cleaner to actually get it all up.) This blood was in almost the same exact spot as it had been Sunday. He said it was from his arm, which he’d cut from the peanut butter jar but I thought it was his foot. I looked where the bandage was on his foot and it wasn’t bleeding so I decided it must have been his arm.

I head to the kitchen to get something to clean up the carpet with and notice blood all over the kitchen floor. It seriously looks like someone has been murdered in there. Blood everywhere, along with broken glass and oil from the peanut butter jar. I went around the corner to the laundry area/utility room and found more blood. He had dripped and tracked blood all over the kitchen floor. So, I headed to the bathroom to get the mop and discovered even more blood. By now, I’m figuring I need to shampoo most of the carpet and that’s not happening right now.

I cleaned up the blood in the bathroom first and headed back to the kitchen where I proceeded to sweep the floor, vacuum the floor, then mop the floor. In the midst of all of this, I slipped on either oil from the peanut butter jar or because of the mopping, or a combination of both. I went down hard on my right knee, with my leg bent out away from my body, almost like I was doing the “splits.” My left knee didn’t hit the floor, which was good because it would have landed in a pile of glass, but it was stretched out the other direction enough to feel that pull, too. My left arm – which is already a mess because of the cartilage tear in my shoulder – got the brunt of keeping me from totally landing my whole body on the floor. I could barely get up and as I’m yelling a couple of lovely words, Ron is in the other room asking what’s wrong. When you hurt yourself like that, the last thing you want to do is EXPLAIN what happened. I had to catch my breath.

We had quite the lively discussion about his continued stunts. He does not even begin to think about something before he does it. Trying to walk barefoot (a big no-no), carrying a tub of crackers, a knife, and a glass jar while he’s walking is just one of the many things he’s done recently. Besides breaking the chair (which my landlord graciously fixed for us), he’s broken the glass front to the antique china hutch (that could have been so dangerous if he had fallen into it instead of grazing it as he fell past it), he’s dropped a dish onto an antique dish (which broke), he’s fallen out of bed (last Monday, I found him on the floor by the bed; he’d been there about an hour – slid out trying to get his leg on), he’s spilled cups of liquid on the floor (he thought they were empty) because he’s not careful of where he sets them or how close they are to the edge of the table, and he’s bled on the floor more times than I can count. It’s not like I resent cleaning up any of these things but he doesn’t learn from what he’s previously done to keep from doing it again.

I just looked at him last night and said I can’t continue to do this and that he had to quit acting like he was invincible.  Then, I decided I was going out but I didn’t take him. I knew that I just had to get away for a while. I went down the road to play “Alice in Wonderland” and it was a nice reprieve. But, when I got home we had to continue our little discussion.

There was more blood on the floor in the bathroom (and on the wall) and in the kitchen. He insisted that his ankle was not bleeding but I made him let me see his foot anyway. Not only did he sustain a substantial cut to the bottom of his foot, about where his big toe would be if he had one, he also has 10 puncture wounds. So when he thought he was “fine” he was actually cutting his foot up by traipsing through broken glass. I felt bad that I hadn’t noticed it before but I was concentrating on where he knew he’d been bleeding from. I got those all cleaned up and bandaged and asked him when was he going to learn; did he want to lose his other leg, too? He still thinks he could walk just fine on two prosthetics. Seriously? He can barely get around on one prosthetic with a cane. I told him he’d find himself in assisted living if he wasn’t careful because I was not capable of providing the care that he was going to need if he didn’t start taking better care of himself – and that includes wearing his shoe. I don’t expect very much of him – actually, nothing. He will sometimes wash up a few dishes but that’s really all that he can do and I usually end up re-doing them because he doesn’t see if he’s not gotten something clean (I never tell him though – I just put it in the dishwasher or something).

He’ll promise me that he’ll do things differently and then he forgets all about it. He’s supposed to wash the socket sleeve every day with mild soap and hang it over a form to dry. He has two of these. They cost $1200 each and our portion is several hundred dollars. He said he’d be responsible for washing them and taking care of them. He doesn’t remember and by the time I realize that he’s not washed one for several days, they both need to be washed. He’s only had these for six or eight months and already one needs to be replaced (skin oils cause the material to break down – that’s why he’s supposed to wash them after every wearing).

Too bad it was too late to go back out. I think Alice was calling my name. J

On previous anniversaries of September 11, I have written a reflective post on where I was, how things were going, what I thought, etc. This year, I couldn’t reflect on that date when the days surrounding this September 11 have been in such turmoil. The Oak Ridge Boys concert was last night and we did attend. I tossed around the decision to attend or not and decided that my attendance (or not) wouldn’t make any difference in the grand scheme of things.

This may seem like an odd way to begin a post, and I’ve written (but not posted) a message on mortality but now it is so much more poignant and appropriate. You see, my mom had a massive stroke this past Sunday, changing everything and bringing the thought of mortality to the forefront of my mind. My attendance – or not - at the concert last night wouldn’t change the fact that she is lying in a hospital bed in another state. We did enjoy ourselves and probably needed that time to get away from the stress of the unknown. I’m not in a giveaway frame of mind right now so I’ll have to postpone that until a later time. I have two people who posted about their “star” dreams and since they are both so good, I’m sending each of you a prize. I promise. Just not right now.

What I wrote on mortality on September 4 but never got around to posting (additions in red are my thoughts today on what I wrote then):

I never really considered my own mortality before but the older I get – and the older my children get – makes ignoring it more difficult to do. People are born, and die, every day. My time will come when God decides that it is here. My father passed away in 2005 but he had really been “given” 18 extra years in his life following a near-fatal heart attack in 1987. Luckily, he’d had a quadruple by-pass in June and then suffered the heart attack in July. His doctor said if he’d had the heart attack first, there would not have been a by-pass surgery. He was only 56 when he had the heart attack – the same age I am now. He was 74 when he died and I did not connect his death to my own mortality. (Back then, my mom would always say that Dad didn’t feel well and this made him grumpy. I told her to make him go to the doctor and she said that he wouldn’t go. I told her to make him an appointment and when he got home from work, to tell him to get into the car. She took my advice and on a Friday in June took him to the doctor. The doctor wanted to admit him to the hospital that day but my dad refused. He made Dad promise to not lift anything heavier than a coffee cup all weekend and scheduled him for by-pass surgery for the following Monday. The accurate diagnosis by the doctor saved his life.)

My mom turned 82 last week and I turned 56 two days later. I saw my mom the weekend before her birthday and although she didn’t look as bad as she has in the past, she feels worse than she has in a while. She goes to kidney dialysis three times a week and that is really sapping her strength and energy. It’s impossible to look a loved one in the eyes and not wonder about his/her – and your own – mortality. I worry about the length of time we have left with her. I worry about the quality of that time. I’d like to turn back time and do or say all the things that should have been said or done – and take away the things that should not have been said or done. If I could turn back time, I’d have gone to visit more, said I love you more, and asked if there were more things I could have done for her. If I could turn back time, I’m not sure exactly what I would do but I hope that I would do things differently. I’d apologize for things said (or left unsaid), things done (or not done) in the heat of the moment, and for where I had failed to live up to the hopes and dreams that she had for us. If I could turn back time, I’d sit down and have her tell me stories of her life – and put them on paper for my children to read. I bought her a book one time that was a sort of “fill in the blank” and she didn’t want to fill it in; she said none of us would really be interested in the minutia of her life. She was very wrong. If I could turn back time, I’d cherish listening to those details and ask for more.

I know my mom is proud of all of her children (there were seven of us) but she wasn’t (and still isn’t) one for flowery speeches or gushy shows of affection. It took me a lot of years to understand that her lack of “show” did not equate to a lack of feeling. As an adult myself, I’ve learned more about feelings – hiding and showing – than I ever thought I’d learn. I may not say much (when I could) but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel deeply. I’m sure this probably explains my mom pretty accurately. We were each raised in households where feelings weren’t discussed or shown. It was expected – and understood – that we would love each other and get along, not only with each other but also with others outside of the family unit. I posted an analogy of a tree today on my Facebook page. I won’t bore you with all of the details (the original message came from Tyler Perry so you could search for him on FB and read what he wrote) but give you a shortened version of it. People are like trees. You have some leaves, weaker, blown around by the wind, and when the winds change, they’re usually gone and out of your life without really being the type of supportive person you need. Then you have your limbs, which are stronger than the leaves but like them, if you pile on too much weight they break easily and are also gone from your life. These two groups of people have purpose in your life but they’re not the ones you go to if you need support and help. The final group of people is the roots – in the background, often unseen and without drawing attention to themselves, providing us with the support, encouragement, and nourishment in every way they can. My mom is the strongest “root” I know and the knowledge that her earthly presence and wisdom may soon be gone from us is a chilling fact and is causing this “tree” to lean.

There were definite times when this did not happen. It is sad to realize that as we all get older, we may not be there for each other in the way that we could – and maybe should. There are friends that have come and gone; relationships that have ended just because people have drifted apart and other relationships that were damaged due to the actions of one or more people. Some relationships were never meant to be and should be ended. Others should be mended; forgiveness should be extended. Forgiveness is as much, or more, for the person offering forgiveness as it is for the one being forgiven. I have a lot of actions that I need to be forgiven for and I hope that I’ve asked for it from all I needed. Instead of wondering (in some cases) where/what/how I went wrong, I just have to accept that some relationships may never be mended. We may need to re-cultivate our root system to include others, but not diminishing the role of the ones who were there before. Broken trees can re-build and just as a damaged tree bends and changes with time, I know that I will also change and grow as time passes. I may not always have my mother to lean on but I can always lean on her strength, her love, and the wisdom that she has passed down to us.

It’s Giveaway Time!

I promised a giveaway to celebrate our upcoming trip to see The Oak Ridge Boys on September 11. To be eligible to win, answer this question:

Did you have “star fantasies” when you were a kid (or even now as an adult)?  If so, tell me all about it – but keep it clean. I’m not talking about anything kinky, weird, or inappropriate for everyone to read. I mean – a crush on a “heartthrob” or music idol (such as Elvis), or dream of running into a movie star somewhere, or a date.

I know when I was a teenager I loved Davy Jones of The Monkees. Sadly, Davy Jones passed away this year but I always thought he was soooo cute! I also had a big crush on David Cassidy from The Partridge Family. (I actually met Susan Dey one time – she is TINY!) I never dreamt of having a date with anyone famous, but I always thought I could be a good friend to female stars. Of course, that was very naive of me, but I still would dream about meeting famous people and being “friends” with several people.

I love the Oak Ridge Boys (and the Statler Brothers) and we have gone to as many concerts as we possibly could. One time at a Wichita concert, we were coming around the building to the entrance as they exited a side door. They were so nice and chatted with us for several minutes. I think I was too stunned to get any pictures so hopefully the next time we see them, I’ll be able to get some pics. We not only have tickets for the Kansas State Fair, but we also have tickets for a December 11 concert at the Golden Nugget hotel in Vegas. My big fantasy right now would be to get a knock on our hotel door and have the Boys on the other side of the door.  That would be cool all by itself but the BIG part would be that they invited us on their cruise (takes place the end of February 2013) – all expenses paid, of course. LOL – now that’s truly a big, BIG fantasy (I had a dream one night after I read about their cruise that we got to go; not a possibility but it was a really good dream!).

So… those are my old, new, naive, and silly fantasies. What about you? The contest will run until September 12 (the day after the Kansas concert). To enter, leave a comment about your “star fantasy” and I’ll pick the winner from the entrants. The winner will get an Oak Ridge Boys package – contents to be detailed later when the winner is announced. I’m shooting for a CD and a signed book – either one from Joe Bonsall or the new one from Richard Sterban. Not sure – just what I can put together.  Unfortunately, this contest is only open to residents of the US but I will be having another book giveaway that will be a download.

Catching Up

Again... That seems to be my theme song these days.

I am very remiss about writing these days. I’ve started many different posts and never got past the first few paragraphs. Some of them are so out-of-date that it is just not feasible to post them. I’ll try again this weekend to get some stuff up. I miss reading and writing but I’ve just got so much going on that I can’t keep up with it all. I suppose if I made a goal of once per week that would be sufficient. I need to update Isaiah’s blog, too. He’s growing like a weed and in 3rd grade this year. Wow! It’s just amazing to see how much he has changed and grown over the past few years, and especially since Rex has come into the picture.

Rex is a wonderful dad to Isaiah and we couldn’t ask for anyone better. Isaiah wants to go to the same college Rex attended (K-State in Manhattan, KS) and have the same type of career (agricultural engineering). It’s just a joy to see them together. Isaiah is an awesome big brother to Anna, too. He has his moments but most of the time he’s great at entertaining her while his parents are busy. She’s taking a few steps now and seems to be into everything. He definitely has to be on his toes when he’s playing with her. She’s quite the little princess.

Ron is doing OK. His last checkup from the kidney doctor was really good. His neurologist gave him an additional pill for Parkinson’s and it seems to be helping. He’s now on three different Parkinson medications (one is a combo pill, so technically four different medications). He’s lost quite a bit of weight and is getting around the house better. He’s fallen a few times (broke a rib and one of our chairs) but for the most part is doing very well.

I had an MRI Arthrogram yesterday (not the best way to spend your birthday but at least they sedated me for it). They injected a contrast material into my left shoulder and then did the MRI (sedated – yay! Thank God for good drugs!). It doesn’t appear that I’ve re-torn my rotator cuff – which is a good thing. However, I found out I have a SLAP lesion (that’s a tear in the Labrum) in my left shoulder. Baseball pitchers get this type of injury but I don’t play ball. The only thing I can think of is that because it’s already a weaker joint than my other arm, that I injured it trying to catch Ron or pick him back up. This is why I’ve had so much pain and so many problems with it. I’ve done the injection, rest, heat/ice, exercise, anti-inflammatory meds, etc. so I wonder if the next step will be arthroscopic surgery. My orthopedic doctor is retiring and the practice is getting a new doctor. So, I don’ t know if he’ll want to start over or just go right for the surgery. I might try to put it off (regardless of the suggestions) until after the first of the year. I think I’d be off work for up to four weeks. Not sure… From what I’ve read, the patient wears an immobilizer sling for 2-4 weeks. Not sure how I’d dress for work with something like that. Oh well – will see what the new doctor says and I won’t see him for at least three more weeks.

I probably won't get caught up on all my blog reading so you'll all just have to bear with me. Or, not. LOL! I try - really I do. But there are just days that I come home and want to do nothing. N.O.T.H.I.N.G. And, that's exactly what I do. I get dinner, do whatever needs to be done around the house, take care of what Ron needs done, and then sit down. Sometimes I read and sometimes I surf Facebook, which is a real time waster. I have to watch myself there.

I'm not really having any issues but just have a lot on my mind.

A friend of mine described a sort of "circle dance" on her blog recently. She is an amazing friend - one I've never met in person - and I often find that what she writes speaks to my soul. She is able to put to words things that I know my heart and soul feels deeply - things that I would say if I could find the words to do so.

I have found myself performing my own version of this circle dance. Do I write, or do I not? Do I care what others think and say, or do I not? I've always wanted to be the "people pleaser" and hate it when someone is mad at me or disappointed in me. I hate it when people decide to drop out of my life without saying what I did to offend them. I can't attempt to "fix" what I don't know is "broken." I think it's even worse to find out that I really did nothing. It would be easier to understand if "I" was responsible for something that I could fix. I have given up trying, though.

When I started blogging, I did so pretty much as a sanity check because it was such a stressful time in my life. I did it for me and then I discovered reading blogs written by others and others started reading my blog. I've made so many friends through this online world. Seriously, how would I have ever gotten to Australia, New Zealand, England, or Japan except through this blog? It's pretty impressive (to me) that the words I've written have spanned the globe and ended up displayed on someone else's computer screen. This is no small thing to me. Unlike gaming, where people live in make-believe worlds with make-believe items, this is real life and involves real people.

I’ve had my share of ups and my share of downs. We all have. None of us is any more special than the next person. Our challenges are just that – “our” challenges. They’re no less challenging or any more challenging than the next person’s. Everything we do and say is subjective. The level of joy, sorrow, ease, or difficulty that each of us experiences is different for each person. I think all we can do is support each other in those challenges – no matter what they might be.

I’ve been much busier since I changed jobs and my writing has suffered. I’ve also tried to not focus so much on “airing” our medical problems. There are those who just don’t want to hear about them. That’s OK. This blog isn’t about them or for them. As such, they may have left and/or decided to not read any longer. Again, that is OK. But, if what I've said has offended anyone then for that, I truly am sorry. Offense has never been my intent and never will be.

This is probably as long of a rambling post as I should do. If you've made it this far - good for you. LOL - if you bailed before you got to the end, that's OK too.

I'll catch up with ya'll later. I still have a book giveaway and an Oak Ridge Boys giveaway (I haven't forgotten!).

Sunday Snaps

Vacation pictures...

Mt. Rainier from the airplane window

Beautiful scenery

Alexander, Zachary, and Katy at Olive Garden

Zachary

Katy and Grandma

Alexander and Grandma

Zachary, Katy, and Grandma

Alexander running away during water balloon fight.

Katy ready to throw balloon.

Tristan is excited in his exer-saucer.

Poor Zachary... We wore him out and he fell asleep eating his dinner.

I'm back...

I've been back a week but have been so very busy that I couldn't update. I'm so far behind that I have just come to the conclusion that I will NEVER catch up. If I haven't commented on your blog for a while - I apologize. I try to get them all read but just can't seem to get it all done.

I had a great time with my grandchildren. They were a little bit shy when I first got there but warmed up quickly. Katy was really attached to me and Zachary wanted to do whatever Katy was doing with me. I would frequently end up with both of them on my lap - not a bad situation at all. I hated to leave them and I tried to prepare them for the fact that I'd not be there when they got up the next morning. I told Katy that I had to go back home to take care of grandpa (the big baby) because he missed me. The next day, Katy went into the bedroom where I'd been sleeping and said yep, I was gone home to take care of big baby grandpa! It was so funny.

I started calling Zachary "little man" when I'd talk to him. One time, I said it to Alexander. He said, "that's Zachary. I'm big man." So we had big man (Alexander), little man (Zachary), and baby man (Tristan). Katy was "Sis" a lot of the time. I don't know why I do it, but I love to give the kids little terms of endearment. I've called Isaiah "bubba" for most of his life, along with several other things. LOL! Anna calls him bubba, too. She gets very excited when she sees her bubbas!

Ron survived his week without me (he had Keith and Lindsay here making sure he did). He was glad to see me and isn't in any hurry for me to take of again any time soon. Next time, he'll have to go with me and we'll get a hotel where he can relax in between visiting the kids. LOL - they are quite active and I think a place for him to retreat would definitely be in order.

Shaun's ship is headed back to the Middle East and we're none too pleased about it. He just got home March 2, 2012 and they expect to be headed back out by the end of August for another 8-month stint. They have already been underway the whole month of July doing maneuvers so they won't get much home time before they pull out. Not too easy for Jenny to handle another winter without Shaun there to help. Thankfully, one of the neighbors has offered to haul trash carts down the street (they have to take them to where the paved road begins) and will help with other things while Shaun is gone. They have some really fantastic neighbors.

Ron went back to the neurologist for a follow-up visit and medication check. The tremors bother him more than anything and his memory (or lack of) bothers me the most. He got a new medication that is supposed to help the tremors (this will make pill #3 and medication #4 - one is a combo pill - that he'll be taking). The doctor also took a look at his latest CT scan and said he has a mild case of hydrocephalus (water on the brain) and it's causing pressure in the areas that deal with short-term memory. The only treatment is a shunt and he is not willing to do that at this time. So, we just have to find a way to work around the memory problems (and they are getting much worse). The doctor may increase Ron's Aricept. His next appointment is in three months so we'll see what kind of changes there are between now and then.

I'm in a training class all week to become a company-certified trainer. There are going to be eight of us who will be responsible for teaching everyone in the plant (nearly 1,000 people) how to do a certain function (corrective action/preventive action [CAPA] plans). The company is changing gears and rolling out a new method for this CAPA procedure. So far (after day 1), it's going well and I think I'm going to enjoy teaching the procedure to people. That's today. I may not be so certain come Thursday or Friday.

I"m going to be hosting a new give-away in a couple of weeks. This one will be in honor of us going to see the Oak Ridge Boys this September. Be thinking about your entry.... I want to know the wildest dream(keeping it CLEAN - no sexual fantasy) you've ever had about a movie star or music star. I'll pick the story I like best (clean and entertaining) and that person will win a special prize (I'm still in the planning stage for this but I will say that it involves the Oak Ridge Boys). I'll even ship out of the country so all of can can join in.

I'll hold the give-away open a couple of weeks after it's posted so you have time to think about what you want to write. When I pick the winner, I'll tell you my wildest dream (pretty far-fetched, perfectly clean). I've had a lot of time to day-dream and night time dream about some of my favorite acts (I am, after all, OLD so there have been a lot) and TV shows. For instance, when I was a kid, I used to dream that our house was in the Old West and frequently a scene between Cowboys and Indians would take place - but more of the comedy variety like Bob Hope in the old westerns. He was one of my very favorite actors/comedians. Yeah - I was weird even back then.

Have a good week! I'll post some WA pictures when I get a chance to get them off my phone.

Hold down the fort!

I hope you all are doing well and surviving this heat we've been dealing with. Triple-digit temperatures has a tendency to make people grouchy and a bit crazy. Not that I'm talking about "me" you know.... not much anyway. The heat is handled quite well at my house (PTL for air conditioning!!!!).

Tomorrow, I'm getting on one of these:


(Compliments of Boeing Images)


And, heading here:



Image Google Images

 To see these:

I'll be back next week. Expect pictures... That's my plan. Lots of pictures.

Have a great week and I hope you all have a safe and fun Independence Day celebration!