Friday, August 20, 2010

I'd Choose Him Again

One of my most favorite songs, sung by The Forrester Sisters, is I’d Choose You Again (not sure who wrote the lyrics). I’ve used it many times in the past years to say in a nutshell what I’d do if I had the opportunity to choose who to spend my life with.

Lookin’ at my life
Through the eyes of a young girl
Growin’ older all the time
Maybe just a little wiser
I can clearly see
All my mistakes
Keep comin’ back to visit me
Pointing out the roads not taken
So much I’d like to change
But one thing I’d do the same
I’d choose you again
I’d choose you again
If God gave me the chance
To do it all again
I’d carefully consider
Every choice and then
Out of all the boys in the world
I’d choose you again
Times weren’t always good
Seems like the Lord gave
All the easy parts away
But every time the road got rocky
You’d look at me say
Had all you needed
Long as I was there with you
You’re the reason I kept goin’
If I could start my life anew
The first thing I would do
I’d choose you again
I’d choose you again
If God gave me the chance to do it all again
I’d carefully consider every choice and then
Out of all of the boys in the world
I’d choose you again

The words I wrote last year, for our 25th, are just as true today as they were then. In addition to the things I mentioned then, we’ve also made a few other changes.

We’ve changed diapers
We’ve changed residences
We’ve changed cars (LOL – more than I care to count!)
We’ve changed our hair styles (in some ways – definitely for the better!)
We’ve changed jobs
We’ve changed our opinions to match each other’s or to differ from each other’s

Yes, we’ve definitely changed in the past 26 years. Not all of it has been for the better, but it’s taken all of the blessings and issues of the past 26 years to make us the people we are today. There are definitely things that I wish we had done differently, but if who we are today would be different, then maybe I wouldn’t make those changes. We could have made better financial decisions, we could have planned better for the future, and we could have taken better care of ourselves physically. The main thing is to learn from your mistakes (which sometimes we had to make more than once before we had our “aha” moment) and go forward from there.

I’d still give the same advice to others who would ask how we’ve made it…

  • Faith. Regardless of your religion, make faith part of your everyday life.
  • Don’t go to bed angry. That’s easier said than done, but it can be done. See next point.
  • Agree to disagree. Face it; you’re not going to agree on 100% of the stuff 100% of the time.
  • Give 150% - marriage isn’t 50/50 – it’s giving 100% from each party, so give 150% instead
  • Laugh at your mistakes together and not at each other.
  • Be willing to compromise. Again. Again. Again. As much as it takes as long as it doesn’t involve safety issues.
  • Don’t sweat the small stuff. There will always be little irritations in life – just let go of them and don’t let them build up to become a major issue.
  • Present a unified front to others. You have issues with each other? Discuss it privately.
  • Support each other’s decisions. That includes in front of your children.
  • Provide words of encouragement to each other. You never know what kind of day your loved one has had and one little encouraging word may make all the difference in his (or her) day.
  • Don’t lose yourself entirely in the relationship. Have shared interests as well as individual interests. Individual outside interests are not only important, they provide opportunities for conversation.
  • Remember that saying “I love you” can’t be overdone. Just because you said it last week, or last month, or last year doesn’t mean that he (or she) doesn’t need to hear it today.
  • Give hugs. Touch is very important and a pat on the back, a light shoulder rub in passing, or the touch of your hands is as important in any stage of a relationship as it is in the beginning.
  • Decide that your relationship is something worth working on. Too many people give up too easily and throw in the towel.
  • Have eyes only for your spouse. That being said, if you have a good healthy relationship, your spouse is not going to feel jealous or less than “yours” if you comment on a nice looking individual. By the same token, neither should you. Ron and I have both admired the looks of someone else – but we know who we’re going home with at night and there’s never been a question of where our love is or where our loyalties lie. I can say “he’s hot!” and he knows that doesn’t make me think any less of him. He’s also admired more than one set of nice looking legs in the past 26 years. Big deal. He loves my whole package and that’s all that matters.

This morning when I left for work, I told Ron “Happy Anniversary.” He said, “It’s not our anniversary – is it? Oh wait; it’s the anniversary of the day we first met.” I said that, no it really was our wedding anniversary. He felt so bad because he’s told himself that he wouldn’t forget anything like that. I told him to not worry about it – I had the best anniversary present that anyone could ever have.

Him. Sitting right there in his chair. And I hadn’t had a funeral this summer for him.

God is good!


Kathy's Klothesline said...

Happy Anniversary to you both. You are right, God is good!

TinaM said...

Happy Anniversary!
Thank you for sharing your tips too :) I love them, and I think we follow them pretty well.
(except if mine sees a hot girl, he better keep it to himself lol!)

SkippyMom said...

You made me cry. This is so beautiful.

I love you both. Happy Anniversary.

Hugs. Skip

Pat said...

This is a beautiful post. What a great gift to him - let Ron read it! Happy Anniversary of the day you met!

Karyn Bernard (French Charming) said...

Hi Teresa,

Thank you for your visit and for wanting to be part of Project Butterfly. I just love this post and you have given some very wise advice. Happy Anniversary to you and your man...keeping him in my prayers!

Would it be alright if I take from your blogs to write up a post about you?


Donna B said...

Happy Anniversary Teresa and Ron...This was a great post. I am making a copy of this post and keeping it in it in my Bible. Excellent advice my dear...and you are so right, GOD IS GOOD!! You both are blessed to have one another.

Donna B said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Marla said...

Happy belated anniversary!! Such a tender and sweet post. It's good to be loved.