I know I shouldn't get so uptight about things. It doesn't solve any of the problems. It's just that it's very difficult for me to separate the things I can change out from the things I can't change. It's difficult to get Ron to talk, especially when I'm upset and he thinks it's directed at him. I finally told him yesterday that if I wanted to live in silence I could live alone. That woke him up.
He asked me what I wanted and I said I wanted conversation from him. I wanted to be able to mention something - no matter what the subject - and know that he's going to respond. Even if I'm upset with something HE has done, it helps to talk about it. He thinks if he just doesn't say anything then it will be just fine. It's not. Him not talking just irritates me more.
I know that a lot of Ron's problems are the memory lapses he has but it's still tough for me to not over-react when an issue comes up that is a result of his memory lapses. He goes to the neurologist on Thursday so maybe there will be an answer for us.
Here's an example of an issue I have problems dealing with:
We're still having well and sprinkler problems. The well people take F-O-R-E-V-E-R to return phone calls and that's one reason the sprinkler people think that the sprinklers were working well all summer. I had called the well people several times over a six week period and it took them that long to call me back.
Once they did, they came out and put a water restrictor on the well, which was supposed to help the water pressure and run the sprinkler system better. They re-iterated that they'd told us and The Tree Guys that the well was doing 6-7 gallons per minute and the system should be designed for that. I absolutely remember that conversation as I also told The Tree Guys the same thing. Since I know nothing about wells and this sticks out, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was said.
Ryan (with The Tree Guys) said to design a system like he said would have cost us $15,000 because he would have had to put in a lot more sprinkler heads and it would not have been cost efficient on a yard this size. Weninger sent us a letter and said the well was doing 6-7 gpm and Ryan needed to re-design the system.
Ryan's answer is to hook us up to the city water this spring - and "only" charge us a portion, including the permit to hook into the city. After spending as much as we have I'm really upset that the only answer is to spend more money. I told him that the sprinklers hadn't been working correctly all summer and did he forget how many times I called and said there was a problem? Or, how many times Greg came out? I said I had not watched the entire nine zones go through their entire cycle so I had no idea how far into the cycle the problems started. I said I was willing to do three cycles at a time over the course of two mornings and one evening just to get the system going. But, I can't because there's not enough pressure to push up the heads for even the first zone, so for sure I'd just be wasting time, water, and electricity to do anything.
Weninger blames The Tree Guys, and they blame Weninger.
Ryan did have Greg, his partner, put on smaller sprinkler heads but we don't know if they work because of the flow restrictor. I've been trying to get Weninger back out here to remove the restrictor but they don't return phone calls very well.
They called the other day. Ron didn't ask them to come back out. I've only been talking about it for WEEKS but he didn't remember that we needed them for anything. He said he had no idea that I wanted them to come back out. That is, until I re-iterated the conversations I'd been having about wanting to see if the new heads were working and I didn't want to pay to hook up to the city if they were, but we couldn't see if they were because of the restrictor.
Oh... he forgot.
So, how do I deal with that? I'm clueless and running on empty.
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