Friday, January 16, 2009

A bit irritated

First of all, let me say that I'm in no way mad at a person or persons in particular, just a situation in general. I also believe in the validity of rules and they're usually in place for a good reason - and not just so someone can try to break them. Even though this has to do with our church, I would still recommend our church to people and I still love and respect the members of the ministry team.

Ron plays bass guitar for our church Praise and Worship team. He's played for over 10 years and the only time he's not gone to church has been when he was sick. Too sick to sit up for any length of time or in the hospital - or something like that. Not because he had a headache, or a sore throat, or a little bit of a cough. He's missed a lot of church in the past year. You can imagine that with six hospitalizations and being "house-bound" for many months that he'd actually look forward to going to church so he can get out. That has been the case most of the time. But when he's sick, he's really sick. There are days he doesn't even get out of bed. There have been Sundays where he's come home from church and gone to bed until time for me to take him back in the evening. There are Wednesdays where he's stayed in bed until time for me to take him to practice, and then come right back and gone to bed. It's not just his foot that is a problem but his entire body has issues. He can't get up and walk around if he's uncomfortable and he can't sit for two hours on his scooter without something in his body hurting.

If the weather is terribly rainy I've not wanted to take him out. He only has a bandage on the right foot and no shoe. If he puts his foot down on wet ground, then the bandage is ruined. When he had the wound VAC, that was a $120 bandage (give or take a few bucks). Plus, if it's raining I have to stand out in the rain to load the scooter, cover it with a tarp, and tie it all down. Before I'm finished the scooter and I are both soaked.

Since the weather has been very cold and snowy here lately, I've also resisted taking him out. He has no feeling in the foot so he could get frostbite very easily, and not even know it. I haven't spent the last 13 months of my life taking care of this wound so he can lose the foot for another reason. He decided Wednesday that he didn't feel good enough to go to church and he didn't think there was practice since they are having practice tomorrow morning. The wind chill was below zero so I was just as glad.

He got a phone call last night from the director of the Praise Team. She was very nice and while we understand her concern, I am a bit perturbed that they've decided to implement the attendance rule. If you can't make it to at least two services and practice on a weekly basis, then you can't play on the Praise Team. If Ron was healthy and driving, that would be absolutely OK. It's not like he can just come into the living room and announce that he's going to church or practice. It's a 15 minute loading job to drive to the church, 10 minutes to unload (in the dark), and then repeat when it's time to leave. I don't mind the loading or the drive but it's difficult in the dark and near impossible to accomplish in the bone-chilling cold. The only reprieve I have is loading or unloading at home because that is in the garage.

Ron was very nice in his conversation and said that he didn't think it was fair to ask me to subject myself to the weather to load and unload his scooter. There was one man who would come out and help get the scooter off the ramp every Sunday morning but no one offers to help at night. They're all in a hurry to get home, and I can't blame them. But, I'm trying to do this in the dark, by myself. I never ask for help to get him in or out of the car. If the weather is bad then Ron doesn't want me to have to do it.

Ron said that he was surprised that they weren't taking his health into consideration with this rule. He said that he'd think about it and see if he might just step down from the Praise Team. I want it to be his decision and not because he feels pressured to do one thing or another. If he does step down, I see him retreating more into his pain and illness and not getting out at all. I see him quitting church completely because he'll really have no reason to go. Playing the bass keeps him connected and gives him something to get out of bed for.

That will all change.

1 comment:

Mema-Eemah said...

Ooh Teresa, I am soo sorry you guys are having such a delimma.....GOD Willing things will work themselves out for the better real soon.