Monday, June 27, 2011

Checked out...

I think Amy has decided that I've "checked out" on things. She's about correct. The work situation is not improving and it's all I can do to sit there and pretend that everything is OK when I know that it is not. I am trying very hard to maintain a positive attitude but even that is getting more and more difficult. I've taken to listening almost exclusively to my music all day. The headset is my closest companion these days and Christian music helps me keep a better prospective on things. {grin}

Amy wants me to go walk with her three days a week - under the guise that she needs to do the "healthy baby routine" and wants me to walk to keep her company. This past weekend, we were supposed to go visit my sister for her grandson's first birthday. The finances said "no," so we didn't make it. Amy volunteered to go to church with us on Sunday and then invited us over for dinner. (We ended up staying all day.) She said she thinks we should come to dinner every other week, just to get us out of the house. I said they could come to our house some, too. LOL - she said they have better food than we do. (This all tells me that Rex and Amy have been discussing my apathy and lack of interest in anything. That's OK; it means they care about me.)

I was talking this over with Ron. He thinks I've about shut down, too. I guess they are concerned. They shouldn't be. I'm not dangerous. Just 'done' with things. I am finding it hard to be interested in much of anything, and I have to force myself to do the very little that I am doing. I haven't been in to play in my craft room except one or two times since I put it together. I walk in, look around, and then walk back out. I have a couple of things to mail out that I made, and I want to make a baby card for Amy's sister-in-law, so I will be in there this week. Beyond that, I don't have a clue about things.

This should be "annual review" week but our supervisor hasn't even scheduled them. We are having an "organizational" meeting tomorrow so I'm wondering if there are going to be things said that will mean some of us (ahem, maybe me) won't be scheduled for a review period. Even if I am scheduled for one, I know that I will be skewered. Absolutely. No doubt.

I heard back from the insurance company. They are reviewing my case and will let me know within 15 days of the receipt of my letter (which was 8 days ago, so I may have only 7 days left), but the letter didn't say if it was 15 business days or just 15 days. I am hoping that I don't have to fight them any more on this.

We shall see. Not sure what is in store for me but I'm trying to keep a stiff upper lip about it all.

6 comments:

Mynx said...

You have had a pretty stressful time lately so maybe you just need some time for quiet. Hope you feel a bit brighter soon
sending you hugs

kneesandpaws said...

Teresa, I have loaned out a book that I would like to send to you. Perhaps you will be able to find it somewhere. It's called 101 Exercises for the Soul by Bernie Seigel. I only suggest this because of your post today. I also have a copy of one more of his books that I am happy to send you if you will email your address to me. Please drop me a line at kneesandpaws@yahoo.com. I'm thinking of you today. I am not in anyway trying to "fix" your apathy, because we all have times like these. I have experienced it too.

SkippyMom said...

Hugs to you my frie*d - wish there w@s somethi*g I could do. Much love * good thoughts your w@y.

Pat said...

I hope things will turn around quick for you Teresa. Hopefully the insurance company will change their tune on your claim. Take care, my friend!

Nancy said...

Sounds like you need some time to figure things out. Sometimes when things are too stressful, we shut down and lose interest. A good rest might be in order. I hope you are feeling better soon and your job is safe (if you want it to be.)

Renegades said...

Could you be becoming depressed? I've been diagnosed for two years and before I started doctoring I had lost interest in so many things and everything I needed to do was such a chore.

Hope you get feeling better and more into life.