Sunday, April 24, 2011

Nosey-assed family...

I'm in a foul mood tonight. I was already in a bad (sad) mood today. I did the best that I could today but I still struggled with my mood. Ron spent the day watching Hulu on his laptop and I spent the day packing, cleaning, and doing laundry. Not exactly how I expected the day to go but it is what it is.

Found out this evening that one of my brother's inadvertently found out that we're losing our house. It was something I posted but didn't think about until later. Heck, he may even be reading this blog - I don't know and right now I don't even care (Jerry - if you are, enjoy; I'll post something later that is a little more "family friendly" about your favorite sister, you know - the one who hates me because I told Rick that Jake was doing drugs in Mom's basement, the same one who doesn't seem to mind that Rick was the one who kicked Jake out and who wanted us to tell when Jake was not living {for free} like he was supposed to in Mom's basement). I have about had it with the self-righteous, holier-than-thou crap.

Anyway, my oldest brother's wife asked my other sister if we were losing our house. My sister said, "they're moving to a retirement community." My SIL pressed on with, "yeah, but they're letting their house go back, right?" My sister again denied anything and said she didn't know what the deal was, only that we were moving. Do you think these two brothers have nothing better to do than to talk about Ron and I behind our backs? Have they thought to ask us instead? Or, maybe wonder if there are extenuating circumstances in this - like, the mortgage company that refused to work with us, saying our bills (including the medical expenses) were too high and who sent our money back? Or, the fact that the temporary leg was over $7,000 (we owed over $1,000 after insurance) and the permanent leg will be double that (two "stump" sleeves are over $1,000 each). Or, the fact that I've lost thousands and thousands of dollars in wages over the past three years? Or, the fact that we've spent (out of our pockets) about $30,000 since 2008? But, it's just easier to assume that we've been negligent and wasted our money on sh*t we didn't need.

Yeah, we've bought some things and did some things we didn't need to do. Yeah, we've been *gasp* - HUMAN! I've made mistakes. I feel like a F-ing failure. Yeah, I'm just on a freaking roll right now - loving life and just enjoying the hell out of things.

Yeah, right.

I got a lot of packing done today. I think that what's left is just what we need to live with. I've given Ron a task for this week... Clean out his dresser, sort what he needs to wear for 2 weeks (taking into consideration I will do laundry), sort out stuff to sell, trash, or donate, and pack everything that he doesn't need.  That should keep him busy this week and help me out, too.

I'm not looking forward to starting the work week tomorrow. First thing, though, is that Ron has to have blood work at 7:30 AM in the morning.

I better set my alarm.

Happy Easter!

I hope you all have a very blessed and Happy Easter.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Welcome new friends and other randomness

I want to welcome my new friends to my blog! Thank you for joining me and I hope that you find what I have to say interesting at least part of the time! I welcome your comments and rest assured, I do read every one of them.

I have really only a few things in life that are important to me...
Faith, family, and friends. Possessions are just things to weigh you down. The memories they hold are often more valuable than the possession itself. With that in mind, I have been passing some things on to others in my family (and some to friends) that I hope will give them fond memories as well.

Some of my goals in life are to be kind to others, do the best that I can, and to provide joy to others in whatever way that I can. I think that I am relatively successful in these things. I try to not say things to others that I would not want said to me. I try to put the joy and happiness of others first (this is very hard sometimes and I don't succeed as often as I'd like). I don't always do the best that I can but this is an area that I'm aware of and I'm working on it. Most of the time, the person who gets less than the best is only myself. I do the best that I can for others. They deserve my best. I don't always feel that I do.

With sharing in mind, this box is going out today to someone in my address book. If it happens to show up at your house, you might want to unwrap it quickly. And carefully. The person* item inside might be needing some fresh air by then.



Just saying...


*Just kidding... there's not a "person" per se in there. Just don't tell him it that. He It thinks he it is real. No people things were harmed in the taping or shipping of this box.

Aorta ultrasound today

Ron's blood pressure has been up. Waaayyy up. The kidney doctor adjusted his medications (increased his diuretic and increased one of his blood pressure pills). We have to watch his drugs pretty carefully because some things can really mess with his potassium levels (that is bad) so it's a special kind of dance we do with things. We've been taking his blood pressure all week and it's still up. He saw our PCP on Tuesday (or Wednesday; my how time flies!) and she scheduled an ultrasound of his aorta to see if there's a problem.

I took him in for that this morning. Bummer is that we have to wait until Monday (at the earliest) or Tuesday - or possibly even Wednesday - for the results to get back to the PCP. What if he has a real problem with his aorta? There are many risk factors involved, and he has several of them... he's over 55, he's male, and he's diabetic. Ding, ding, ding...

But, here again, we have to place our trust and faith in God. He is our provider, our healer, and our source of strength and comfort. I can do no more than to turn to Him for guidance and peace over the situation.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Home today

I do have an appointment with the specialist but not until May 12. Until then, I have to continue with what I'm currently doing to deal with the vertigo. Today, that meant staying in bed and not turning over too quickly. Bed spins are really not fun.

I think I've had episodes of vertigo for years. I have memories of bed spins from early childhood. They weren't nearly like they are today, and I didn't realize at the time what they were called. But, I have clear memories of feeling like I was swinging out over a great open area and just spinning. That is really odd and, in my mind, quite amazing that it not only happened but that I remember it so vividly. I think that is why I've never enjoyed "swinging" on a swing set or riding the swings at amusement parks. They bring back that feeling and it's really not an enjoyable feeling.

Meniere's disease is really a tricky condition to have. It's so subjective. One person with this condition can experience different "feelings" than someone else with the condition. I did read that it can be considered a disabling condition. There are days when I feel like I'm on that path. Meniere's can affect your concentration, your memory, and your energy. I can definitely see that. Since I've been fighting this latest episode (several months’ worth), I can tell that my concentration and my memory have been very involved. It also causes anxiety attacks. I've taken more Xanax in the past few weeks than I took in the whole of last year. Hmmm... wonder if I can use that in my issues at work? Nah, probably not. (just kidding.)

Meniere's disease and vertigo are not just having "dizzy" spells. It's much more involved than that and be varying in severity from person-to-person - and day-to-day. I can be fine today and wicked sick tomorrow. I have spent days in bed with vertigo. Leaning over to tie Ron's shoes can bring about an attack. Turning over in bed can bring about an attack. Looking up to see what's above me (on a shelf, in the pantry, in the sky, etc.) can bring about an attack. Packing – yeah, that can cause one, too… The constant up and down, reaching for something and depositing it in a box is a trigger waiting to happen. You just never know when or how bad it will be. This is not a fun way to live. Now that my right ear is totally involved in Meniere's (and deaf), the vertigo that is happening now could be my left ear involved. I'm really worried that I'll wake up deaf in that ear, too. That scares me. The thought of not being able to hear at all is never far from my mind. I try to not focus on it but it’s something that is out there.

I take two different diuretics and I’m not taking the meclizine. I even wore the little patches behind my ear for a while. They didn’t do too much and they’re expensive.

So, here I am and here I’ll be. I do have to run an errand today so I hope the vertigo doesn’t rear its ugly head while I’m trying to drive.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

And a new week is beginning...

I've been pretty much absent on the blogosphere the last couple of weeks. Life has been very busy around here, what with packing and all. I can say that my kitchen is down to just the barest of essentials. I have packed more things (and tossed more things) and sorted to donate and sell more things than I remembered owning! I've even down-sized over the past few years. It's amazing how this stuff just multiplies!!! Amy still has a bunch of stuff here so next weekend (or the next) she has to come and get some stuff.

I walked into the downstairs utility room (which is also our storage room) and just said "not today" and turned around and walked out. A lot of the stuff in there is either going to the garage sale or to her house - or to her garage sale. Some of it is Christmas decorations that will go straight to the storage room at the "villa" (that's my new name for it since the location is referred to as "The Villa" by the locals). Many of the Christmas decorations will be sorted and shipped to the various children they belong to. LOL - except for Keith, they have more storage room than I have so they should store their own ornaments. Even if they don't know they own them (yet).

Today, I finished the last cards and projects I'm going to do until after we move. I packed up all of my scrapbook and card making supplies. My room looks "nekkid" now. I had an order for a new baby card (for triplets) so I did that today.

I also finished the Easter cards for Isaiah, Alexander, Kaitlyn, and Zachary.


I also spent all of last week trying to keep my job. I'm a nervous wreck and know that I cannot "walk on water" so my days are numbered. It's a terrible feeling to get written up for things that are so minuscule that it's amazing they even bothered and to be warned that if things don't improve that you're subject to further disciplinary action - up to and including termination. It's apparent what the plan is and this is the natural order of how they have to do it. Honestly, I wish it would just happen and get it over with. The stress is causing me so much anxiety. They've taken away my voice, my confidence, and my will. I am truly just a shell of myself. I'm afraid to speak up, voice an opinion, or make a suggestion. Co-workers are supposed to report to the supervisor any conversations/emails and I'm supposed to CC her on all correspondence. That is no way to live. If I had made some horrendous mistakes that caused customer impact, I could see the cause for concern. But, I have not and did not. In fact, the three things brought up were taken totally out of context and because I'm not one to CC everyone about everything, she had only seen one side of the conversations and actions.

I'm not saying that mistakes weren't made. Absolutely, I made a couple of errors. But they were minor things that were corrected because I caught them and redid them. One other item had to do with someones interpretation of a document and things she brought up I had discussed with the designer and what I had written was correct - not what she had thought. So what she shared with our supervisor about how I hadn't addressed this issue was shared before I verified that I was correct. In the last instance, the person who disagreed with what I had written came back later and said that my approach was probably better in this instance after all. Our supervisor did not see those pieces of the conversation. Once you're given an "oral" or "written" warning, they aren't retracted, even if you can show they were not 100% correct. Any comments are deemed as "defensive" and more cause for their concern. So, I just agreed that yes, I'd made some mistakes (one in January, one in February, and one in March) and there as room for improvement but the rest of the story was not something they were aware of. Because I've always been of the mind that conversations back and forth between people should be kept to just the people involved; adding management names to the "to" or "cc" list just makes it look like you're trying to get someone else into trouble or that you're trying to prove something. I've never been a "C.Y.A" sort of person. I'm becoming one...

On top of that, someone else made a big mistake on Thursday and while I hate that it happened to her, I am so relieved that it did not happen to me. It was something that could have happened to anybody. We have a lot on our plate and a lot of responsibilities. Files disappeared off of one of the servers. She doesn't know how it happened and no one else does either. But, as sorry as I am that it happened - I am so glad it was her and not me. I think it would have been the death knell for me. Instead, for her, they were all sympathetic and so sorry that this had happened.

I'm stressed to the max. I've got vertigo all of the time. It's so bad sometimes that I'm sick to my stomach. Changing positions makes it worse. I am being referred to a oto-neurotologist for further studies. Until then, I'm taking meclizine three times a day (which makes me sleepy). It helps, but it's not great.

The bright spot in my life right now is that I'm going to be a grandma again. Amy and Rex are expecting in November. She's due 11/10/11 and I say that she'll probably have an 11/11/11 baby. We're all hoping for a girl. Healthy is most important and God knows that we'll love and cherish any baby that comes along. It's just time in the family for a girl. Rex's family hasn't had one yet (counting Isaiah, 5 grandsons) and I've only got Kaitlyn and the three boys.

We're moving May 7th and I'm very thankful for that. I'm looking forward to it.

Ron is getting a new leg. I'm really worried about his "residual limb" right now though. He wore the new leg briefly Friday and Saturday and he has a big, deep blister on the end of the tibia. It's bad enough that I won't let him put the leg back on until he sees the prosthetist. I honestly just can't go through this again.

I just can't...

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Triple Easel Card

I try to not post exactly the same thing on both of my blogs, and when I do post parts of the same thing I try to change it up a bit so people who follow both blogs don't have to read the same thing word-for-word.

I'm making an exception here...

I have to say this may be my most favorite card yet. I can see so much potential in future projects.

This is for a set of four year old triplet girls. I work with their father and they are just as cute as they can be. The littlest one was only 1 pound 1 oz when she was born. Her "big" sisters were 2 pounds 9 oz each. You can read all about them at Wilson Triplets.

James doesn't know I'm making the girls a card. I decided to use them as a practice audience. If it goes over well, then I'll know I'm on to something.

What do you think?

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

See that knife?

You know, the one firmly buried in my back. Up to the hilt.

I'm so naive. I actually believe people when they say I can trust them. I should be a contestant on Survivor.

One of these days, I'll realize that Corporate America is not my friend. "I got your back" means "let me see how far I can bury my knife in it."

Good thing I have a good attitude about things. I'll be done with all this when "I" decide I'm done with it. No one else. I am in charge. No one else. I can smile with the best of them. I have dealt with much deeper things and kept my cool. I have integrity.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Wow! Part II

On to Part II...

Also up for grabs yesterday were fantastic items in a silent auction. These items are also donated by various vendors, so the amount of money taken in goes right to the foundation. Included in the auctions were things from Ott lighting (a PINK light! how cool - but I didn't try to buy it although I truly want one), about $170 worth of stuff from Martha Stewart Living crafts (I donated some colored pencils to this one), several card making sketch books (I did bid on this one but lost it), hand-made jewelry, digital portrait package (valued over $150), "American Girl" gift basket, and a couple of other things. The was only interested in the Ott light but by the time I thought I might bid, it was already over my limit. So, I decided that I could really use some card sketch ideas so I bid $25 on those. Sadly, it sold for $35 but I had a $25 limit so didn't go over (Skippy - aren't you proud of me for that? LOL!).

K and Company donates a lot of stuff every year that are items from previous years and maybe just some excess they have left over. You can pick up paper 12 pieces for $1.00 (and that includes glitter paper; if it has glitter, I love it). Embellishments are $1.00 each, or less. Stamps are usually $2.00 for the larger ones and cheaper for the smaller one. I got some great button packages (love to use them on my cards) and a few other things, plus 24 pieces of paper specific to things that I have planned. Glitter paper is usually from $.85 each to $2.00 each (if it's double-sided).

I had several projects that I wanted to get done yesterday and I did very well. I made a couple of journals for people I know. The Hello Kitty one is going to one of Keith's friends who will be home on leave next week (she's in the Navy) and the other is going to one of my friends as a surprise gift.


Next, I wanted to make a card for the daughter of one of our on-line friends. You might have read her post here about her daughter being accepted into the Tri Beta sorority. So, I had her email me some images and I set about creating a congratulations card for her. She can't post it on her blog yet because I want it to be a surprise, but I can post it on MY blog for you all to see.


This is a "swivel easel" card that I saw the instructions for on YouTube when I was searching "easel card" instructions. When it is folded flat, it looks like the image is on there upside down. You can't tell on the big image, but it's done like the key. I printed it twice and cut one out very closely to the lines. The other image is left flat on the card stock. Then, I align the pieces and "pop dot" the cut out image over the flat image to give it dimension. The sentiment is stamped along the edge in an unusual spot. I wanted this card to be as unique as the recipient. I think I did it. BTW, the 'spot' on the card is from my camera, not the card.

Next, I had an order from my friend at work for some Easter cards for her to send to her parents and her grandparents. I had a definite theme in mind for those and set about coloring and cutting out my images.  I am totally sure that she's going to love them.




The eggs are all cut out individually and also "popped" off the page, as is the sentiment. The bunnies tails are glittery and I traced the sentiment with clear glitter as well.

I also wanted to make a card for me to just have around in case I needed something to send to someone on the fly. I didn't know how this image would look colored so it's a good thing it was for me. Now that it's made, I'm sure I can duplicate it again if someone wanted to buy one. It would make a great sympathy card or even just a "hello" or "'I'm thinking about you" card


I used a clear glitter pen to highlight the flowers and the butterfly's trail. It's really quite cute. The only thing I can't exactly duplicate is the flower button in the corner. That was a special find and I only had one of those.

I also worked on a scrapbook for a special lady who gives so much of herself to others. I felt like I wanted to do something special for her in return. It's only partially finished because I didn't print enough pictures and because of the pictures I did print, I forgot what order some of them went in. So... I will be working on that this week and hope to have it in the mail within the next week or so. Once it's received, I'll post pictures of it.

Last, but certainly not least, I have to share what I won. I said in Part I how I'd been telling the girls at my table that the grand prize was going home with me. Frankly, I'd never heard of Pink Paislee stuff until last week. I had to ask the lady at the scrapbook store just what that company sold. She showed me the items that she carried and I thought they were cute. I didn't buy anything - just looked and admired.

The drawing for the grand prize was at 8:45 and you had to be present to win. About 6:00 or so, I went up to Megan and said, "OK, I've told everyone around me that I'm winning the grand prize. I'm speaking positives into the universe so it's aware. You need to think 'Teresa' 'Teresa' 'Teresa' for the rest of the evening." She laughed and said that would be her new mantra. The time for the drawing comes around and the first name drawn out of the bucket (by someone else) is NOT my name. I just laughed because, well - as much as I joked about the grand prize, it's still just chance and the luck of the draw. The recipient is not in the building; someone said she'd gone home. So, the person doing the drawing goes in for another name. She pulls it out. She reads it. It's MY NAME! My friends just started clapping and hooting for me. Megan (who did not do the drawing) was stunned. She was so excited for me, almost as excited as she would have been if it had been her name. She took pictures of me coming up to get the stuff and pictures of me with the stuff. I'm betting those pictures will be up on Kyrie's blog in the near future.

My friend Michelle took a picture of me with my phone, too. I don't usually post full pictures of myself, but I'll make an exception here in all my (fat) excited self.


This doesn't look like nearly as much stuff as it really is, so I've laid it all out at home for you to see and be amazed. Each "pile" is one theme in the collection.

Most of the items (minus a photo album)


Old School


Sweetness
  
Hocus Pocus



Parisian Anthology

I'm in love with the Parisian Anthology theme. It has that Old World, Vintage feel to it.  The Old School stuff I can see in a variety of ways. Sweetness... I do know some girls so that's good. The only theme that's not my style is Hocus Pocus so some of that will probably be gifted or traded. I put all of the embellishments in a plastic tub and it' so full, I can't close the lid. The black box in the picture is an alphabet set and it's on top of another alphabet set. The jewels in the Parisian set are beautiful.

All in all, it was a very good day.

Wow! What a weekend! PART I

And, it isn't even over yet. Today was supposed to be packing day, but I'm out of packing tape and haven't been to the store - and I'm sore from my big day yesterday. It's hard to believe how badly sitting in a metal folding chair for 12 hours can make you feel the next day! I even had a chair cushion and I did get up frequently, but I feel like a train wreck this morning. I also slept 12 hours, which is absolutely unheard of for me. I rarely sleep 7 or 8, so 12 was a total luxury and my body must have needed it.

I went to a fundraiser yesterday for an amazing organization called The Kyrie Foundation. Kyrie Dawn Thome was a little girl I never met and didn't know her parents or the circumstances surrounding her life - and death - until two years ago. She was born in September 2006 and passed away April 7, 2007. Such a short life, but one that has impacted so many lives with her passing. How this amazing family did not implode is an amazing story in faith. Instead of imploding, they took their grief and used it to help improve the lives of other children who are diagnosed with pediatric brain tumors. Kyrie was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive tumor in February 2007 and was gone just nine short weeks later. In their grief, the family started The Kyrie Foundation, a non-profit organization, to help raise awareness and funds for pediatric brain cancer research. So far, the foundation has raised over $50,000 from people just like you and me through various fundraising events and word-of-mouth. I urge you to consider donating to this worthwhile foundation. We're working on our next $50,000!

Yesterday was their 4th annual Kyrie Crop in Wichita. I missed the first one, made it to the second one, missed last year's, and attended this one. That sounds like a theme, but I plan on making it to all of them in the future, God willing. The crop is held at Family Worship Center in Wichita, who donates the space for the crop. All of the food is donated by local businesses, big (and little) scrapbooking companies donate awesome door prizes, and  variety of vendors and companies donate items for goodie bags. The cost for a chair for the event is $45 and every single dime raised goes to the foundation. All of the set-up and tear-down of the tables and chairs are done by volunteers (I was one of those this year - probably another reason I'm in pain today, but it's a good-feeling kind of pain). There is usually at least one person (usually Megan Thome, Kyrie's aunt and the person who started the foundation - with her husband) who brings tools to share and a 6" Cricut for the scrappers to use. I also took my 12" Cricut and cartridges to share and I know it was a big hit because I had a couple of people come up and thank me for donating the use of my things. Honestly, I was glad to do it; it was such a small thing to do to help others.

I sat with my friend Michelle (who used to own the local scrapbook store here in town and where I bought all of my supplies after Isaiah was born in 2003 and for the next several years until she closed) and her mom and sister. Amy and I had sat with them two years ago and they're great fun to hang around with. Michelle's "table" has been pretty lucky because out of FOUR annual events, someone from that table has won the grand prize THREE times in a row. She won one year, her mom won last year and.... I WON THIS YEAR! Michelle and I were bantering back and forth all day about the grand prize and I said that I was "due" so it was coming home with me. Her sister, Shanda, said that it was her turn since Michelle and their mom had won each of the previous two years. I just smiled and said that I had been saying all day - talking to the universe - that it needed to come home with me. All in good fun...

Everyone goes home with a door prize. They range in value; some are donated by others and some are donated by vendors and others are donated by various companies such as K and Company (where Megan works), Pink Paislee, Zig Markers, Martha Stewart, Die Cuts With a View, Provo Craft, local companies, etc. Pink Paislee donated the grand prize this year, valued at over $200. I won a $15 gift card to a local BBQ eatery called Pig In Pig Out. I've seen it advertised on TV but have never been there. It'll be something to look forward to.

The crop is held from 9 am until 9 pm and includes snacks, drinks (coffee, tea, water, soda), and two meals - all donated items.

~TO BE CONTINUED~