Thursday, April 21, 2011

Home today

I do have an appointment with the specialist but not until May 12. Until then, I have to continue with what I'm currently doing to deal with the vertigo. Today, that meant staying in bed and not turning over too quickly. Bed spins are really not fun.

I think I've had episodes of vertigo for years. I have memories of bed spins from early childhood. They weren't nearly like they are today, and I didn't realize at the time what they were called. But, I have clear memories of feeling like I was swinging out over a great open area and just spinning. That is really odd and, in my mind, quite amazing that it not only happened but that I remember it so vividly. I think that is why I've never enjoyed "swinging" on a swing set or riding the swings at amusement parks. They bring back that feeling and it's really not an enjoyable feeling.

Meniere's disease is really a tricky condition to have. It's so subjective. One person with this condition can experience different "feelings" than someone else with the condition. I did read that it can be considered a disabling condition. There are days when I feel like I'm on that path. Meniere's can affect your concentration, your memory, and your energy. I can definitely see that. Since I've been fighting this latest episode (several months’ worth), I can tell that my concentration and my memory have been very involved. It also causes anxiety attacks. I've taken more Xanax in the past few weeks than I took in the whole of last year. Hmmm... wonder if I can use that in my issues at work? Nah, probably not. (just kidding.)

Meniere's disease and vertigo are not just having "dizzy" spells. It's much more involved than that and be varying in severity from person-to-person - and day-to-day. I can be fine today and wicked sick tomorrow. I have spent days in bed with vertigo. Leaning over to tie Ron's shoes can bring about an attack. Turning over in bed can bring about an attack. Looking up to see what's above me (on a shelf, in the pantry, in the sky, etc.) can bring about an attack. Packing – yeah, that can cause one, too… The constant up and down, reaching for something and depositing it in a box is a trigger waiting to happen. You just never know when or how bad it will be. This is not a fun way to live. Now that my right ear is totally involved in Meniere's (and deaf), the vertigo that is happening now could be my left ear involved. I'm really worried that I'll wake up deaf in that ear, too. That scares me. The thought of not being able to hear at all is never far from my mind. I try to not focus on it but it’s something that is out there.

I take two different diuretics and I’m not taking the meclizine. I even wore the little patches behind my ear for a while. They didn’t do too much and they’re expensive.

So, here I am and here I’ll be. I do have to run an errand today so I hope the vertigo doesn’t rear its ugly head while I’m trying to drive.

11 comments:

SkippyMom said...

If anyone qualifies for disability it is you. I can't imagine attempting to drive [let alone work] with that Tee.

Please be safe. :)

lyndylou said...

that sounds just awful! Poor you, hope this spell passes or at least settles down a bit

Thisisme. said...

So sorry to hear that you are suffering pretty badly at the moment Teresa. I get it periodically but obviously not as bad as you. But I do know that it's awful when you turn over in bed and just have to grip onto the bed with this awful reeling sensation. Do hope it will be a bit easier for you soon. Take care.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Ooooh--I bet the packing is making things worse! How awful. I get nauseous when I get dizzy. Does that happen, too?

Pat said...

I can't imagine feeling that way! I get dizzy when I have fluid in my ears due to sinus infections, but I can't imagine feeling like that all the time! I will pray that things get better for you!

Jax said...

I have never felt this way but it sounds horrible. I don't think I would even be able to trust myself to drive. Please be careful and safe :D

Silver Strands said...

Wow Teresa - take care of yourself!

Jo-Anne Mother and Nanna said...

I remember when I left my last comment about vertigo I think that maybe wrong, when I was having problems with gallstones a few years ago I remember waking one night and everything was spinning and I wanted to throw up the feeling was awful and hubby to me to the hospitial and they said they had no idea why I felt like I did but it may have been a bit of vertigo........I remember thinking what an idiot the doctor was but I was feeling like shit and couldn't move or even open my eyes.

I have also had many times when I feel light headed and a little dizzy.

So that said I have a bit of a feeling how you feel and I wouldn't want to be you. I think it is amazing that you manage to do so much when you feel the way you do.

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

skip ~ thanks, i will be

lyndylou ~ thank you - it is quite miserable a lot of the times

thisisme ~ yes, that is one great description of how it is sometimes

green girl ~ you betcha - packing is nauseating

pat ~ thanks, the sinus congestion really makes it worse. the left side of my face just throbs

jax and denalee ~ thank you both. i will be. careful and safe - i'm moving slowly

jo-anne ~ very good description. feeling like you want to throw up all the time because that's what it does to you. yep...

i meant to say that i am "now" taking the meclizine - not that i am "not" taking it. this crap messes with my typing, too.

colenic said...

Ick..that sounds really horrid. I hope that the medicine works quickly for you....hugs...

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Hope you are better! I am catching up now that I am home. Sorry to hear you are feeling so crappy ...... But, does this mean you are a dizzy broad?