Thursday, October 6, 2011

Truth is Thursday

Decided to hop on the band wagon today. Probably because I don't feel good.

Truth is... I really feel like crap.

Truth is... When I feel this way, I resent having to get up and go to work, then come home and take care of business here.

Truth is... It's not that I'm unhappy with my life but more that I know the choices we made is what put us here. I wouldn't have willingly taken this path, which sounds a bit hypocritical but it's the choices that I had no control over that I'm talking about.

Truth is... I worry too much about things that I can't change.

Truth is... I have a sweet friend who suffered a traumatic brain injury 10 years ago tomorrow. Her family has unselfishly cared for her all these years and when I think of their sacrifices, I'm humbled and ashamed.

Truth is... I am sometimes ready to give up and I think "just one more day; it will be better tomorrow."

Truth is... I don't know why and I don't know how, but I know that it's beyond me and I have to lean on my faith to get it done.

Truth is... I'm really looking forward to Anna's arrival. She's due in five weeks.

Truth is... I feel really selfish for incurring another medical bill. I could have continued to live my life with hearing only on one side. Millions of people do it all the time. Why did I think I should be any different?

Truth is... This post sucks and I apologize. I feel like shit on a shoestring.

Truth is... I'm 55 and don't have a clue about what I'm supposed to do next. How long can I tell myself and everyone else that I'm capable of taking care of all of Ron's needs.

Truth is... I don't expect him to do much around the house, but when he doesn't even do what he can, it totally ticks me off.

Truth is... When he tells me that he nearly wrecked his wheelchair and tipped it over in the middle of the road, I worry.

Truth is... I dread coming home and hearing one more thing that is bothering him. It's always something and I know I can't fix it.

8 comments:

SkippyMom said...

Truth is. . .you couldn't sound hypocritical if someone paid you money AND wrote the words for you. Jeesh woman. :)

Why shouldn't you have your hearing fixed? When they finally get it all fired up you are going to wonder why you waited. You DESERVE to hear out of both ears. And I know how thankful you are that insurance paid a good portion of it - tho' they sucked in the process.

I know you are tired sweetheart. And it is wearisome, but the weekend is almost here and then soon - A BABY! How great is that!

I know that will rejuvenate that great spirit of yours. Hang in there. The fun times are coming.

And make Ron behave or tell him I am coming over there and disconnect his battery to the wheelchair. When is that man going to learn? hee hee

Hugs always!

SkippyMom said...

Truth is. . .you couldn't sound hypocritical if someone paid you money AND wrote the words for you. Jeesh woman. :)

Why shouldn't you have your hearing fixed? When they finally get it all fired up you are going to wonder why you waited. You DESERVE to hear out of both ears. And I know how thankful you are that insurance paid a good portion of it - tho' they sucked in the process.

I know you are tired sweetheart. And it is wearisome, but the weekend is almost here and then soon - A BABY! How great is that!

I know that will rejuvenate that great spirit of yours. Hang in there. The fun times are coming.

And make Ron behave or tell him I am coming over there and disconnect his battery to the wheelchair. When is that man going to learn? hee hee

Hugs always!

Julianna said...

Truth is... I am sometimes ready to give up and I think "just one more day; it will be better tomorrow"

Honey, I have that on a post it on my computer screen. (A virtual post it, not an actual one... that would drive me crazy)

Because the truth is... it will be better toorrow.

I think we all feel a bit like crap right now, and the truth is... this is just the place to vent it. :) Feel better darlin',
clearly Skippy wants you too as well, she posted her comment twice for twice the love!

;)

Thisisme. said...

Truth is - I don't really know what to say my friend. Life sure does suck sometimes, but try to hang on to the fact of that new little baby coming into your lives. A new little miracle, which will be such a blessing. I know you are feeling really miserable at the moment and sometimes it is so hard to see any light at the end of the tunnel. Try to hang on in there. I pray that God will give you the strength to get through this. Hugs.

orchid said...

Dear Teresa,
On second thought, I'll comment here.
Truth is... you have wonderrful friends like people above me, my friend. Wishing you lovely relaxing weekend♬♬♬

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

I admire you for pouring it out here, your honesty is courageous.
Hugs and prayers, honey. And go easy on yourself. You have amazing amounts of troubles in your life.

Pat said...

Truth is....you are human.

All your feelings are natural.

Is there ANY way that Ron can qualify for some kind of free visitation from nurses a few days a week? And even have home health care come in and bath him? I would think you could get help that way. Isn't there someone at the hospital you could all? And advocate who could steer you in the right direction?

kneesandpaws said...

I have had days when I feel what you are feeling and the things that trigger it are so inconsequential compared to what you are doing right now. If I were there I would bring you flowers and chocolate and a big box of tissues...we could have a great chat and feel better! I will continue to pray that you receive a caregiver who will help Ron with the things he needs.