Decisions

Life is totally about decisions. Some decisions are better than others and some are down-right bad decisions. All decisions have the potential to have long-reaching side effects or after-shocks.

I have made a lot of less-than stellar decisions. Some have even been recent. Some I have been ashamed of and some that I have been proud of. With most decisions you don't get an opportunity for a "do over" and you must live with the consequences. Sometimes that is a bitter pill to swallow.

I made a couple of recent decisions based on flawed information, which made me look like I had poor judgment. By the time I discovered the correct information, I was committed. So, in error I asked someone for a favor. I certainly wish I had not. It would have been better to keep my silence than to be the topic of discussion on whether or not I was making sound decisions.

Although I wish I could un-do a few of my decisions, I think this lapse in my judgment in asking is the most serious. I will make sure to never, ever make that same mistake again.

Now that I know how things are, I can go forward with the knowledge that I was really correct in my first impression and mistakenly thought something existed where there really was nothing.

Once I know what is expected of me, I can function just fine. I can continue to meet things head-on and do my best to keep it all in perspective. I thank God for the blessings in my life and the means with which to provide for us.

I pray that I can be a visible example of faith and strength. That doesn't always happen but that is my goal.

As for my decision-making skills... Well, I guess God and I need to have a better understanding of what is going on. I will do as I have always done - ask forgiveness for my failures and try to do a better job next time. In reality, that is all we can hope for.

The foot

The blister on Ron's heel looks about the same - no worse and no better. He has had some problems with bleeding so last night I put a band-aid on it. This morning, after his bath, I put on some gause and used wrapped it in a kerlix dressing. Then I put a sock on it to help keep the kerlix in place. I imagine that Dr. Heady will need to do some trimming on it tomorrow.

The worst part of this blister is that it's on the bottom of his foot - not the back. The bottom is the worst place that he could have an injury. He can't walk on his toes because of the foot-drop injury so his whole weight goes down on that blister.

I am not ready to start this whole process over again, and I'm sure that Ron is not either. He is really worried about his foot and his overall health. He does not want to lose his foot and that is in the back of his mind. He doesn't get up around the house too much and he does even less now. He can only stand up for about 10 minutes before his low back and hips just scream at him to sit down. He can walk from the car to inside the store (or doctor's office) but then must have a wheel chair.

I know that he is discouraged.

Movie Reivew: Land of the Lost

The best thing I have to say about this move is....

Nothing. I couldn't think of anything good to say about this movie. The nachos were good, though. Ron wanted to see it because he remembered watching the TV series. This past week the SciFi channel has had a resurgence of showing episodes. The biggest difference between the series and this movie is the scenery is better and the CGI usage. The plot was still stupid and the acting wasn't much better.

Will Ferrell was typical Will Ferrell. A bit crude, a bit silly, and overall mostly irritating. I've never been a fan of his acting and would only voluntarily watch one of his movies more than once - and that would be Elf. That movie was cute.

I did laugh a few times but mostly because of the absurdity of it. We knew going in that it would be stupid (I suffered through it for Ron's benefit) but I think the level of stupidity surprised even Ron.

My rating on a scale of 1 to 10.... -5.

Garage Sale News

The garage sale is over and things went OK. I sold enough stuff to cover the cost of my airline ticket to see Shaun’s ship return from deployment. Some of the stuff I really hated to sell but the sacrifice of my jewelry is a small price to pay to see my son return. I’ve not missed a ship’s return since his first deployment and I hated for this to be the first one to miss.

One of the pieces of jewelry I sold was a watch from Premier Jewelry. It’s very classy and probably my favorite watch. It retails for $72 and I sold it for $35. The lady who picked it up commented on how pretty it was and how nice it looked on. Sadly, I agreed and said that it was a very nice piece of jewelry. She bought $145 in jewelry (I sold everything at about ½ of retail, or a little less) and knew exactly what it was worth. Most of it was Premier but she bought some freshwater pearl bracelets that were Silpada. I have a few Premier things left and my the rest of my Silpada things. I’ll put those on eBay to see if I can make some more. In addition to the medical bills I still have to get paid, I've got to come up with enough extra to cover the cost of the rental car ($271) and a hotel room for the night we get to Seattle ($96) since it will be 11:30 PM when the plane lands. It’s a 90 minute drive to Shaun’s apartment and there’s no way I can attempt that when my body will think it’s 1:30 AM.

We still have a massage chair for sale ($75 or $100), and we have some other watches that I need to put on eBay (Invicta Lupa Wave (mens), Invicta Baby Lupah (ladies), Silpada Hammered Silver (ladies), and Silpada green leather banded watch (ladies)). Ron also has a few knives that I have taken pictures of but haven’t had time to list yet. I need to get those online so I can maybe sell something before I need to leave.

I never ask my family for help on anything and I'm not about to start now. I’m usually the one with my hand out giving the cash or the check, but our medical expenses in the last couple of years have been the most medically expensive years we’ve had, with the least amount of income to go toward it that we’ve had. I haven’t had much of an excess to give to anyone. Even though there are a couple of my siblings who are in a position to be of assistance, they don’t offer and I don’t ask. I don't want any of them to think I've got my hand out for anything at all. I figure if they feel like offering anything, they will. I did ask one brother if he had any excess miles I might be able to use to help towards my ticket. I didn’t want to take miles that might be planned for his family vacation or travel, but wondered if he had any in excess that he might lose if not used. I didn't get an answer one way or another, so I decided that I’d not mention it again. (Update - he did answer me and wanted to make sure that I hadn't asked our mother for any money for this trip because I "sort of" asked him for money. I didn't think I'd asked him for money at all but I guess he misunderstood my intentions. I happened to find my original email to him and I actually offered to compensate him someway and said maybe we could work something out where I could pay for them. My brother and I had a long conversation that spanned several days and several emails. I think he understood where I was coming from and what I had been saying. I love my siblings but sometimes I do want to shake some of them. LOL!)

I went to a fundraising scrapbook crop today and I was able to sell my Cricut, tote, one cartridge, and a couple of extra sticky-pads for $140 - which will go right on my rental car bill. Ron sold a couple of things and he's got a bit of money to put towards my trip, too. So, I have the bills covered and just need to sell a bit of jewelry to cover some spending money. (Update: sold some stuff on eBay so we're cooking now. Travel expenses covered; medical bills will have a chunk paid on them.)

Restaurant review: Hangar One Steakhouse

Ron and I tried out a new restaurant last night. It is called The Hangar Steakhouse and is locally owned. One of my co-workers had recommended it a couple of weeks ago and I was dying to take Ron there.

The decor is airplane-themed, with planes hanging from the ceiling, TV monitors on the wall showing airplane videos, airplane components as part of the entry, and other items. It was pretty busy, especially for a Wednesday.

We had lettuce wraps for an appetizer and then we each had the rib-eye steak. I had the vegetables and baked potato; Ron had a salad and baked potato. As soon as our waitress sat my plate down, I realized I had forgotten to say no seasoning. Most places use a salt-based grill seasoning and if I don't order it plain, I can't eat it. I was very surprised to discover my meat was perfect in flavor with no excess salty flavor.

The bread was a nice addition to the meal and tasted very fresh. We also splurged and shared dessert. Death by Chocolate cake (not your usual chocolate cake, this was very rich with several layers and then topped with chocolate chips) and apple pie ala mode. Very, very good.

The serving sizes were generous, the service was great, and the ambience was outstanding. We will return.

Blog name

My son just IM'd me and asked what happened to my blog and now it was MLB betting line. I asked him what he meant because I'd just changed the name (from soapymomponders), not anything else. It seems that someone has taken "soapymom.blogspot.com" and turned it into a betting site! I'm appalled!!! How could they do that? And, why would they do that?

How do I fix that? I have a lot of people who know me as soapymom and I certainly don't want them to think that "I" have anything to do with that site!

Meanest mom

Each generation has one. I thoroughly enjoy reading the Meanest Mom blog. She sounds like she is definitely in the meanest mom category. I think I was the meanest mom of my generation. We didn't give allowances for doing housework (you live here - you help clean it up), we didn't shop at the "name brand" stores (Wal-mart was good enough for me, it's good enough for you), and we didn't act like we were put on this earth to be our children's personal secretaries, chauffeurs, or maids.

I remember when Amy was about 14 she wanted a sweatshirt with "something" written on it - you know, like Guess, Old Navy, or something. We didn't shop places where you could buy shirts with cutesy logos that screamed "we have more money than we know what to do with, so we're shopping at these high-priced stores." No sirree, we shopped at Wal-mart and K-mart. Sometimes, we shopped at the new "French" store in town - Target'. Or, if we were feeling really flush with money, "Jacques Penney" was our destination.

So, in order to help my child feel like she fit in with her friends and not feel like a social outcast - a true piranha of society - I took one of her sweatshirts and obligingly wrote "something" on it and said, "There, now you have a shirt with something written on it." She was not impressed. I thought the writing was very well done. I don't know what her problem was with it.

We "meanest moms" have to stick together. I think Amy may be working on the title for her generation. I can hardly wait. Check out "Mommy hurt my feelings" on Isaiah's blog to see what I mean.

Too good to be true…

When Shaun had to purchase his tickets outright to fly to N. Korea to meet his ship, he was told he could use the already purchased ticket as a voucher for ANYONE, at any time, during the next 12 months. The plan the was to use the money for me to fly out when the ship returned, and to either take Ron, Amy, or Isaiah. We decided I’d take Isaiah and then Amy will fly out at a bit later because she didn't want to take as much vacation time.

In the back of my mind, I was worried that it might be too good to be true. Turns out, I was right. Delta says that Shaun must purchase a ticket in his name – and THEN the remaining can be used as a voucher for anyone else. So, we found “fare deals” online for $59 one way. They won’t let the voucher be used for that. He has to purchase a full-fare ticket (in excess of $300 – that he won’t use) in order to be able to use the rest for someone else. Once he purchases a full-fare ticket, there's not enough money left to buy Isaiah and I each a ticket, and definitely none left over to put towards Amy's. None of us have the money to purchase tickets outright.

Shaun suggested turning the voucher back into the Navy and then asking for a reimbursement from them for the money he spent out of his pocket for the ticket to N. Korea. By the time that would happen, ticket prices will be out of sight and there’d be no way to do it anyway.

I’m disappointed but at least they'll be able to use the voucher when they fly home in October or November so we can all see the new baby.

Sticks and Stones...

May break my bones, but words will never hurt me.

That is such an untrue statement. I was listening to a radio message the other morning and that was the premise of the message. I got to thinking about how words hastily spoken can cause a lasting effect on someone. I am just as guilty as the next person of wishing I could retract something that I've said. I can't think of anything more more upsetting than to know my tongue has caused someone else pain.

I cannot recreate the pain I felt when I broke my shoulder at age 14. I cannot remember how much pain I was in when I had knee surgery. I do not know exactly how badly my shoulder hurt after I had rotator cuff surgery (although I do remember it was the most painful surgery I've ever had and I've had a few). I cannot precisely pinpoint how I felt after coming out of general anesthesia, during childbirth, or having a cut forehead sutured up. I can however, recreate the emotional pain I felt when told certain things during the same periods in time, and any other time. Human emotion is a strange thing. We're capable of deep feelings; joy, fear, remorse, sadness, exhilaration, contentment, and despair are just a few. Our bodies experience deep feelings as well, but our brains block out the memory of the pain. We remember that we were hurt, we remember that we were uncomfortable, but we don't remember the precise feelings. We would not be able to go on in life and function normally if we were unable to "forget" the exact feelings.

Why, then, are we unable to let go and forget the emotional pain? I don't know but it's something that I frequently struggle with. My goal each day is to be happy and content; to do so is often a choice - both mentally and physically (for body language needs to express contentment). But, just when I think I have a handle on the things in this life, something will trigger a memory, a perceived slight or injustice, and I find myself back in the same situation, reliving the details. Could I have done something differently? Did I really pick up on an actual event, or is my mind playing tricks and reading things that weren't there? Sometimes it is very hard to separate the facts from the fiction. I would think that most of us would not want to embellish negative periods in our life as that would increase the painful feelings. So when we are reliving an event, is it real or is it more perception than reality?

Those are things that we must identify, dissect, and let go of. Negative feelings do nothing for us except fester like a bad infection. The sooner we can cut out (or do away with) the infection, the better we'll be. There are things that I've said that I cannot go back and undo. I can only ask those that I've insulted and hurt to forgive my actions. I can only hope and pray that they do so.

I will do my best to not hurl words at people in the future.

Testing 1-2-3

Just testing out blogging from my cell phone. Pretty slick. I might enjoy having this feature.