No news is not necessarily good news

I just haven't had any good news to report. I've been in a bit of a funk lately. Ron's not improving and may actually be getting worse. Since he's not walked in 15 months, every time he gets up and moves around something else starts giving him problems.

He "popped" his left knee when he was walking after getting his right foot orthotic. He may have torn the medial meniscus but they can't tell for sure because he can't have an MRI. If the knee doesn't improve, they'll have to do an arthroscope. Dr. Eckland doesn't really want to do that because of Ron's other health issues. He got a cortisone shot in it and after a couple of weeks it did start to not hurt as badly.

As I posted earlier, we went to the kidney doctor a couple of weeks ago and she heard something she didn't like in heart so wanted him to have an echo. He had that done the next Monday (4/13), saw the cardiologist on the 14th and had his pacemaker checked. Without the pacemaker, his heart beats 20 pbm, which is not enough to sustain life. Dr. Francisco sent him for a thallium test on Friday, the 17th.

In the meantime, Ron's right knee and ankle start giving him terrible fits and making it very hard for him to walk. After a few days of this, I insisted that he so see the doctor. That was yesterday and while we were there I asked about the results of the thallium. They weren't back yet. He did get a diagnosis of strained/sprained knee and ankle (this is on the right) and she's sending him for physical therapy beginning May 4th (I couldn't get an early morning appointment before then; I've been approved for FMLA for four "instances" per month, which is not really a big help).

This evening, we got a call from the doctor's office. They have seen something else in his heart tests (I wasn't here so not sure what they told Ron) and he has fluid around his heart. They have ordered another test for Monday morning at 8:00 am. I am not sure what or why, but I'm really not very happy about the whole thing. I have resigned myself to the fact that his overall health is so bad that as we fix one thing another will fail. But, it doesn't make life any less stressful and easier to deal with.

The doctor told Ron that she didn't think he should be driving right now. I don't know if he'll ever be healthy enough to drive again. He was pretty upset and asked her if she knew how it felt to be 61 years old and be told he couldn't drive. She said no, but that she knew it had to be really hard. He said he has to wait on "other people" to do things for him like go to the store, take him to the doctor, or anything else. I told him last night that I would LOVE for him to be able to drive as it would take some of the stress off of me. I'm the "other people" he has to wait on and it would make my life so much easier.

On the one hand, I don't want him to drive because I'm afraid he's not healthy enough. He doesn't ever want to do anything so I get to where I kind of resent that I can't go anywhere or that he doesn't want to do anything. We've not had an evening out in so long I can't even remember when. We've been to the movies a couple of times and to eat at Village Inn. We rarely go anywhere else because of the scooter issues. But, when I go do things on my own I feel guilty that I'm doing things without him - having fun while he's stuck at home. Then, I come back to the sitting at home with him and being depressed that we don't go somewhere. I told him my whole life is one big inconvenience.

Amy wanted to get us tickets to see Sinbad tonight. He got his start in Wichita at Mid America Broadcasting Company, of which Ron was a part owner - so Ron knew him. Ron doubts that Sinbad would remember him, but it would have still been nice to go see his show. Ron didn't feel like going so Amy and Rex went. They're going to try and get Sinbad's autograph on something for Ron. Amy actually called the radio station today and told them about Ron and asked if there was any way that Sinbad could call him. They said they'd try but couldn't promise anything. We didn't really expect him to call (we didn't tell Ron).

So, the funk is sticking around longer than usual this time. I'm clueless as to how to shake it. I'm usually very upbeat and have a good outlook. I can't say that for now.