Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Vicki and Ron

We received the dreaded phone call at 5:00 am yesterday morning. No one wants to receive these calls at any time of the day, but when your phone rings before the alarm clock, you just know that it’s not good news.

Vicki had been transferred to a rehab facility in Naples, Florida just last week. When Ron talked to her on Friday, she said she’d nearly died the night before and she was afraid that she was going to die there. Ron asked her if she was on the CPAP or on oxygen at night and she said no, that they’d told her she didn’t need oxygen at night. Since she had the tracheotomy she should not have sleep apnea any longer. I don’t believe this is true and neither did Ron. He told her to insist that they give her oxygen at night and he sympathized with her feeling of fear. He said he sometimes has the same fear about going to sleep.

He didn’t call her over the weekend because talking was such a chore and wore her out so much. I didn’t call her either because I didn’t want to listen to her struggle to breathe and talk at the same time. It just broke my heart to hear that and selfishly, I didn’t think I could handle it. I hollered at the telephone on Friday that I loved her and we were still praying for her.

The hospital had transferred Vicki to the rehab center without even discussing it with her daughter. Luckily, there was a family friend visiting with Vicki when they came to take her or Elana wouldn’t have even known about the transfer until after it had taken place. Vicki was not healthy enough to be transferred yet, but apparently insurance was pitching a fit that she’d been in the hospital for nearly eight weeks. Big deal. That’s what we pay our insurance for.

Tuesday morning, the nursing staff went into Vicki’s room for some unknown reason and discovered she was not breathing. I don’t believe that she was hooked up to a cardiac monitor and the monitor alerted them. If she was, no one has been made aware of that fact. Wydonna, Ron’s other sister, told Elana that they started CPR and called an ambulance; while enroute to the hospital they were able to get a pulse but unable to sustain it once they arrived at the hospital. The nurse told Elana that they started CPR, called the ambulance, but did not mention they were able to get a pulse or not.

The whole family is just in shock. She was doing so much better and to die once she arrived at rehab is just senseless and shocking. My poor husband is very upset and the closer we get to the funeral, the worse I’m sure he’ll be. We are flying to Tampa on Friday and then back home on Tuesday. The funeral will be sometime Saturday or Monday.

Ron had a talk with Rex last night and during the conversation, he somehow implied that he doesn't believe he has very much time here with us. He believes his time is measured in months and not years. Accepting Vicki's death has brought his mortality so much closer to him and he's worried.

I am, too.


Humayraa said...

From God we come and to Him is our return!

I am saddened that your SIL is no longer with you, but death is always a reminder of how short and fleeting this life is, and that we should make the best of every minute of it, as we never know which breathe will be our last.

I understand your DH's fears, especially considering his health issues. Hopefully his fear of dying won't turn into a fear of sleeping.

Have a safe trip!

Naimah Rasheed said...

Oh Teresa.....I am sooooooo sorry to hear of Your Family's Loss!!!
I have tried to follow her story, but there were times when I missed a post of two....I apologize for that.

Plz give my regards to Ron....and Again, I am sooo sorry!!!!

GOD Willing, you All will have Safe Travels there & back.....


Naimah Rasheed said...

Unfortuneatly, I too share Ron's fear of "falling asleep" due to MY I sympathize with him on that!!!

Tell him, he is Not Alone.....!!!


soapymomponders said...

Thank you, my friends! Very true comments, Humayraa. From God we come and to Him we return and making the best of our life here is what we all need to do. Naimah - I'll pass on the condolences and you relax about sleeping, too.

confused said...

My condolences to you and your family...death is always such a tough experience to deal with.
God willing, your faith will help you through.
Peace, ummziba.