Wednesday, May 6, 2009


It was a pretty tough trip, but not as bad as I expected it would be. Ron was pretty emotional on Saturday but overall, he handled it very well. It was hard to say good-bye to Vicki, but the body we saw was not the sister we remembered and loved. We know that her spirit has returned to God and she's in a much better place. She's no longer in pain and no longer suffering. We're grateful for that.

Elana and Dana had a much harder time of it. No matter how old you are, it's still tough to say good-bye to someone you love, especially when that someone is your mother. Each one has special memories of their mom and eventually, they will remember these times with gladness and not dwell on the sadness. They can use the prayers of all who would offer them in their behalf. The grandchildren have lost a friend and confidante; the little ones have lost the memories that could have been.

Lexie, the youngest, not only lost her grandmother, but also her godmother. As I was holding her on Saturday, I asked her if I could be her new godmother and she brightened up quite a bit and said that I could be. I've not been a godmother before so I'll have to figure out what all that entails. But, since she doesn't have a maternal "grandmother" figure in her life now, I will be happy to step in and fulfill that role. Sure, she has her mom and her brothers, but her dad died two years ago and I don't know if his family are in the picture or not. The boys have more memories of their grandmother and since she's only four, she needs more input.

Vicki left so many things undone and unfinished. It really makes you stop and think that things should be handled "just in case." Ron has a will (typed with will-making software and notarized) that is in my scrapbook armoire. I also have one, but I don't know where it is any longer. We've often said that we'd have Amy be the executor of the estate but I don't know that is a fair thing to lay on the shoulders of a child (even an adult child) who has just lost a parent. I think we really need to select someone else. I have no fear about fairness or anything like that with our estate, but it's just a lot of responsibility to place on someone who is already dealing with the emotional loss. My sister named one of my brothers, and it was even hard on him. Ron and I may need to re-think things.

We don't really have a large estate, unless you count the medical bills (LOL!)and other debt we've acquired. Anything the children have purchased for us will go back to them. We have very little of value and most of it has more emotional value than monetary value.

We definitely have a few things to think about and take care of. Not that we're planning on anything happening, but Vicki obviously did not either.

1 comment:

Naimah Rasheed said...

I am soo sorry Teresa about Everything....but I am happy that you all got back safely!!

I am sure, with time....The pain will subside.
My prayers are with you & the family.