Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Life in general

I am a bit on the stressed side. Amy told me tonight that I was edgy. Hmmm... hadn't thought of "edgy" as being such a bad thing. Oh well. Life is happening and sometimes I think it would be nice to just step onto the sidelines and watch it go by.

That's not happening. I sat down and figured our budget - income and outgo. It's not a pretty sight but it's doable. There will have to be some sacrifices made on our parts until we get other things taken care of, but with perseverance and determination I think - no, I believe - it can be done.

First, I will put us on a home-cooked meal diet. Eating out will become a thing of the past and only for special occasions in the future. Ron can learn to eat what is here or he can just go hungry. The p'zones from Pizza Hut are done. Seriously, as of tonight they're done (he had his favorite tonight while I had chicken wings). Starbucks (as if I really bought them anyway) is also a thing of the past. I don't buy much coffee out, but I do sometimes buy a McDonald's mocha or a Sonic mocha. No more. No trips to the theater (they don't happen much anyway, but they'll happen less now).

I have to figure out a plan of attack so I can focus on one thing at a time. That will be tough because things keep coming up. It would be really nice if KCI would just say that we didn't owe them any more money. That's a dream... Every time I get a statement from them, I owe them more and I'm paying $130 each month. In January they said I owed $5039; I've paid $650 since then and my last statement said I owed nearly $5500. It would be really nice if that "anonymously" got paid. LOL- another dream.

I'm going to wean myself off a couple of my medications to see if I can get by without them. Omeprazole and Estradiol are only being taken M-W-F now and I'm going to cut them back to 2x per week and see how I do. I take Welbutrin once daily (used to be twice) and I'm going to cut back to 3x per week for 2 weeks, then 2x per week for 2 weeks, and then 1x and then stop. I'll see if anxiety attacks come back or if they are a thing of the past. That's only a $15 per month savings but it is drugs out of the system and maybe my body will be healthier. I take all generics except for one, and it's $15 per month. I'd quit taking it but my blood sugar has really improved since I've been on it so I hesitate to give that one up. Maybe I can switch to every other day instead. If I did that, then I'd save another $7.50 per month. I take two different diuretics so maybe I can switch to just one and that's another $5.00 per month. Then, I take a medication for restless leg syndrome and I know that I don't want to give that up, but maybe I can cut back to one pill instead of two. That's another $2.50 per month since one prescription will last 60 days instead of 30. Let's see... the total savings for me would be $25 per month. That's about the same amount as our water bill - so worth a shot to see.

We're still getting medical bills from last summer that were either filed incorrectly or insurance paid incorrectly. Some of them I'm just paying. It's easier to pay the money (less than $50) than it is to argue that it was a covered service and filed incorrectly. Other bills, I'm going to bat for because I should only have a co-pay for the doctor's visit - not one for the doctor's visit and one for the dressing change on the same visit. I especially get riled up over that one when we also paid for the dressing (lovely KCI thing). The dressing itself was $75 and the charge for changing the dressing was $108. Not fun.

Then we owe Uncle Sam a little bit of money on our taxes. Not because we didn't have enough withheld but because we THOUGHT they were withholding the correct amount (the first half of the disbursement was correct, the second half was not). With interest and penalties, the bill was substantial. We've paid over 1/2 of it (closer to 2/3) and would love for them to take off the penalties. Or, for someone to give us $3,000 to pay it off. LOL - another dream.

And then, we have the yard. And, the river rock. And, the well. And, the sprinkler. Where's my fairy godmother when I need her? Or - Extreme Makeover, Oprah, Ellen, HGTV, or whoever to come to our rescue. LOL - I know, I know - just dreaming.

Sometimes dreaming is the only thing that keeps me going from one day to the next. I'm not complaining but it does get tiring to have to think about it all. Keith came over and mowed a couple of times and did some of the trimming (Keith - the grass along the lake has to be trimmed, too). Aaron came over another day and did some yard work. That was a big help. Isaiah and I got some ground ready for planting and then I planted (one) and Amy planted (most) some flowers. I want to dig up some day lilys from a friend's house and plant them along the utility box in the back yard.

Generally speaking, I have a good life. I have a husband who loves me, children who love me, grandchildren who love me, many good friends, and a good job. I have a roof over my head, food in the house, and a car to drive. There is so much that I have to be thankful for - and I am very thankful. There's just a lot of stuff that has stress added to it and that makes it tough. But, everyone has stress. My stress level is no less difficult for me than yours is for you - and vice versa. I would never say that I have it worse than anyone else because I don't know what goes on behind closed doors. I don't know what kinds of demons they are fighting or what kinds of sacrifices they are making. I will say that there are people who have it worse than I do and struggle every day just to put some food on the table for their families, or to find a safe place to sleep. I pray for these people and ask that God will place them in areas where they will get the help they need. I pray that I am the helping hand when God places me in the time and the place to be of His service.

Until then - and between those times - I pray that God sends us the helping hands that we need.

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