Thursday, March 4, 2010


My daughter is getting married. I'm very excited because we really like her fella and know that he is a great guy for both her and for Isaiah.

The problem??? Not really a problem, but something to take into consideration. The wedding is in Cancun. The locale totally excites me (never been anyplace like this) so I'm totally looking forward to the event but torn about the event, too.

Ron doesn't think he can go. He's not sure he'll feel good enough to even try to go although with his electric scooter, mobility would not be an issue. Ron is fine with me going without him and I would make sure that someone was able to stay with him. Amy wants at least one of her parents at her wedding and I would be the sole representative from her side of the family. They are only extending invitations to parents and siblings and none of Amy's can attend. Shaun's wife will be nearing delivery of baby #3 and Keith says he doesn't think he can afford to go. Her other siblings (Ron's children by first marriage) are also unable to go.

I want her to have the destination wedding of her dreams, especially since her first marriage was so bad and because I know that even though I had a lovely 2nd wedding myself, I've always wished that we had been able to do something or go somewhere special. I don't want her to wish for the next 25 years that they'd done the special trip. It's her day (and his) and they should do what they want and this will combine with a honeymoon trip for them. Amy has really sacrificed a lot to get to this point and she's done a great deal for Ron and I, so we are totally supportive of her decision to have a destination wedding/honeymoon combination.

If I don't go then Isaiah doesn't get to go and if he can't go, then she might as well get married by a justice of the peace here. That's not what she wants. Actually, she was married by a justice the first time and then had a "re-do" ceremony here a year later. She wants Isaiah to give her away and to have some really wonderful memories of the time. Granted, she can create wonderful memories for him here, too but I understand perfectly where she's coming from.

So, we will bat it around. I can reserve for Ron, too and buy trip insurance. If he is unable to travel then I will get our money back. I am not certain how much it will take to reserve the trip but between my children and I, we will get it done.


SkippyMom said...

These are such hard choices - I cannot imagine. My concern with Ron going [he is being very gracious] is how worn out are you going to be travelling that far and taking care of him [I know he wouldn't want to wear you out. Since I just got my wheelchair I can feel how much more my family has to do for me and I hate it]

I know it would be wonderful to go but honestly? A second wedding at a far off destination that is quite costly is for the bride and groom - I know it would be wonderful for your daughter for you to be there, but sometimes life intercedes and she has made her choice - it is a hard one for you to accomodate.

I guess what I mean is if it was so important for my Mom to be with me on my wedding day and she had obstacles that were hard to overcome than I would be picking another venue.

That sounds harsh doesn't it? I am sorry, I don't mean it to be - honestly. I just think that you are more important than a beach wedding. She can still go to Cancun for her honeymoon and take wedding shots on the beach.

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

Nah - not harsh at all. Reality is sometimes a hard pill to swallow. I didn't realize I had published that post yet because I wasn't quite finished with it. LOL - I went back and did some editing so it didn't sound so abrupt.

Ron's scooter is electric, so mobility isn't an issue. He's more afraid of the heat and not knowing what to do once he's there. If Amy hadn't sacrificed so much for us and done so much for us in the past few years, I may not be as eager for her to do it this way. But, I totally understand where she's coming from and what she wants to create from this. My oldest son has volunteered to assist with finances if we need them, so that is very nice.

My children are pretty amazing and very generous to their parents. Their generosity to others is also very admirable.

Nancy said...

This must be hard, but I think if you can swing the trip that you should go. My daughter wanted a destination wedding, but we decided to have a small one with all of the family in her home town. I felt she had always dreamed of the big wedding day. In retrospect it would probably have been just as nice with only the immediate family and a destination wedding. Next daughter - we will do it her way, all the way.

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

Looks like Cancun is off, thanks to drug lords and violence that is running rampant in the country. My daughter just isn't comfortable putting everyone in potentially harm's way even though the wedding coordinator assures her that it's not spilling over into the resorts...

That's why 12 people were killed at Acapulco last weekend. No thanks - she'll find something else.