Thursday, March 18, 2010

Discouraged and out of sorts...

Wound care visit was less than stellar. What I had seen of the hole when I changed the dressing on Monday looked promising. It was better than last week – at least the margins were closing in. Then the “big guns” came in and announced that under the callous was an ulcer. Only way to heal the ulcer was to remove the callous. Gee… that’s what I’ve mentioned more than once and been told it was ok.

The wound nurses got out their scalpels and went to work. Thank God for peripheral neuropathy today! With his feet totally numb, Ron did not feel them cutting & trimming away. One nurse worked on him for a while and then the other took over. When finished, it did look cleaner. Now, if it will just heal.

He is developing a new pressure spot where the original injury was located, but just a bit more toward the outside of the foot. It has a callous and a black spot. The nurse said there wasn’t anything she could do for it but they did put a white foam piece on it for padding and I’m supposed to watch it. They put the silver back on the other. We go back next week after he sees the foot doctor.

I’m just totally bummed about it. It’s very hard to stay positive when week after week it’s always something. He wants the doctor to go ahead and operate on his left knee because he’s in so much pain from it. What he doesn’t understand is that it is an out-patient procedure and he’ll need to be non-weight bearing for 2-3 days and maybe longer. He is not strong enough to do that and I am not strong enough to pick him up or transfer him from point A to point B. I can’t stay home with him and he can’t stay alone. The new walker with the seat won’t fit in my back seat so I have to lower the ramp to put it in the back. The ramp weighs about 75 pounds. Going down isn’t too bad but putting it back up is doing a number on my low back. I sprayed it with WD-40 but it still feels very stiff.

He called the chiropractor yesterday and made arrangements to go see him 2-3 times a week for his back to see if he can help him. That is 2-3 more trips each from home to work (13 miles) to home (13 miles), back to town (about 15 miles) and then back home (15 more miles). In order to do that, on those days I have to come to work early so I can leave early to go get him. Or, I have to come in late and stay late so he can have an early morning appointment. Add to that the weekly trips to the wound clinic (26 miles round trip) and then to work and home (26 miles round trip) and the bi-weekly trips to the foot doctor (52 miles round trip) and then to work/home (26 miles round trip).

On top of that, he continues to shake – sometimes violently. Because of his back and hip (and knee) pain, he can’t walk very far even using the walker and forget about walking more than 10 feet with the cane. He said last night that his hands are getting stiff enough that he can no longer extend his little fingers flat. I don’t want to stick my head in the sand, but I just dread hearing about one more thing on him that hurts or doesn’t work right. My knees, my hips, my back, and my shoulders hurt all the time – some days worse than others – from the lifting, tugging, and pulling that I have to do.

I have no help to speak of. We all work full-time except for one (my 30-year old step-son – who works p/t) and I can’t even get him to pick up the phone and call his dad. He works 10-15 hours a week and then stays up all night playing games on his computer. He did actually call on Tuesday but that was after Ron had called his house to talk to someone else there. Of course, he gave the usual B.S. that he’s just been so busy that he hasn’t had time to call. Puh-leeze… I am to the point that I don’t care if I EVER speak to him again and I am totally done with the other one – who is 37. It is not Ron’s job to call his children and say how he’s doing. My son and DIL in WA call at least 2-3 times each week to see how he’s doing. Since they are 1500 miles away, it’s not like they can do anything for him but they do call and check. Jenny sends him care packages all the time with things in it that he likes to eat and snack on.

Today is my whine day. I need some good cheese to go with it… And crackers.


Rae said...

You are entitled to have an off day once in awhile. I know very few people that can do what you are doing on a day to day basis. You need a shoulder to lean on and a big hug.
((((HUG)))) I wish I was closer. Hang in there sweetie. You are one tough cookie and an amazing individual.

SkippyMom said...

I flipping can't believe I posted what I did yesterday, reading what you just wrote.

I am so sorry - I think I fear this the most. The only thing I can do now is walking to the toilet [I can't bath by myself] and I don't want my family to have to take care of me. I can't imagine the frustration between you and Ron. I am really sorry.

Please, please, please take a moment for yourself. Ron will understand and you need the time for yourself - at least to get a break.

If you need anything or to talk [I will tell you fun wheelchair stories - which, come to think of it, you could to!] please email me and I will send you my phone number or you can send me yours.

skippyaveoATgmailDOTcom [obviously you replace at and dot with their real counterparts :D]

Let me know - I am always around...the chair doesn't go far and no one has installed ramps - the bastards - heehee

Kathy's Klothesline said...

I am so sorry you are having this really rough time. I feel petty when I complain about my little irritations of the day! You remind me to be thankful for what I have. I wish that I could offer more than good thoughts. I would help you if I were close by. I wonder if there is an agency that could provide you with some relief. My daughter is doing some volunteer work in MN. Some cities have volunteers that provide rides to appointments. They are paired with people that they are physically able to assist and come to your home and get them into the vehicle and wait for them at the appointment, then bring them home and get them back into your home. This seems to be your biggest stress point right now. You might ask your doctor's office or call the hospital and ask for patient services. Sometimes help is available and we simply are unaware of it. I hope that there is something like this in your area. And call Skippy, she has a good heart and will make you feel good!

Donna B said...

Hello...First, thank you so much for visiting my blog. Secondly, I need to read back on your blog to find out your entire story how you became a caretaker for your husband. My Dad has Alzheimer's and went into a nursing home last June. My blog, ended up becoming a chronicle of our family's experience with him.
Thirdly, I very much sympathize with you on the moving sometime, so we can talk Bless you.