Tuesday, November 9, 2010

The man...

I am so totally irritated with my husband's actions right now that I can barely function. I know he thought he was doing something totally rational, but instead he's taken weeks of effort on the part of several people and just thrown it back into our faces.

He got "the" phone call yesterday to schedule him for the outpatient Parkinson's evaluation, even though I had given my cell phone out and requested all contact come through me. He told them he didn't need it any longer - he'd gotten his leg adjusted and was walking across the room with it, a walker, and me. (That is only partially correct - he got the leg adjusted Friday but hasn't had it on since then.) He further said that he'd bought a Bowflex and now he could exercise at home. (Again, only partially correct. We bought a Joe Weider machine - used - and it's not set up yet. Once it is, he can't use it alone because he can't do the rods to add or release tension on them.) To top it all off, when I asked him yesterday if anyone had called (other than sales people), he said nope, only me.

I should have recognized something was fishy this morning when he was watching a segment about Michael J Fox and he said, "My Parkinson's isn't that bad. I think I'm doing fine." It didn't strike me as odd until I got the phone call from our referral friend in the doctor's office. Ugh! I got the phone number for the RN who was doing the appointment paperwork and told her that he would go to the evaluation and that the doctor, his kids, and I all believed that he would benefit from the evaluation and treatment. I understand he doesn't want to become an in-patient somewhere (it doesn't make my life any easier, going from work to rehab - then home - back to rehab in the morning, and then to work) for at least a short period to get him back up to speed. I said that I thought he was in denial and that he didn't realize how much stress he put on me with everything that I have to do for him at home. It's not that I mind doing it, but he needs to take on a more active role in his well-being and to be able to care for himself to the best of his ability. Not a hit-and-miss kind of arrangement.

I said I had medical power of attorney and that he would be at the appointment so she's going to set it up and call me. On my cell phone.

In the meantime, I will very patiently try to not throttle him when I talk to him.

I promise.

10 comments:

SkippyMom said...

I think I can see the steam coming out of your ears from here as you try to stay patient. I know he wants to be better [then he is] but that was a goofy thing to do.

Stay strong - hopefully his Parkinsons won't be too advanced and they can help him.

How do you do it. Just amazing.

That corgi :) said...

I think I would be very upset too, at your hubby and the doctor's office for not calling your cell like you had instructed them to do so. Glad you were able to eventually straighten it out and that the appointment will be had even if you have to "drag hubby to it kicking and screaming". But I'm thinking is has to be only of good benefit for him to try to be as functional/mobile as he can. I think sometimes men have problems admitting they need help and aren't as strong as they were in their youth. good luck with it all!

betty

Michaela said...

Man, how frustrating for you!
Lucky we have blogs where we can let off a bit of steam, eh?
xxxooo

Kristen said...

Sounds like a man - unfortunatley he is trying to control as much of his life as he can but it effects you - I am sorry!! Keep your chin up - Don't you just hate when people say that?? Say, "My chin IS up,how about I hit your's for ya?" .......

Kathy's Klothesline said...

It is hard to give away control for him. He will no doubt tell you he was trying to help. Have a cup of tea and try to be calm ...... I feel for you!

Sandra said...

Men are babies.
However, let me quickly play devil's advocate, but it sounds to be me like he's got some adjustments to make and he's in deep denial...
but men are big, fat babies!

ANichols.Too said...

((hug))

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

If you flick him in the ear while walking past, I'd say you're entitled under the circumstances. What a tough situation. I'm so, so sorry.

Pat said...

I know a part of Ron just doesn't want to bother you.

I think you have every right to be mad; the first road to recovery though has to be mindset. I hope he can get his mind around it all.

Take care, and take a VERY DEEP BREATH!

Marla said...

I am proud of you for stepping up and taking the bull by the horns. This affects you rlife too so you have to do what is best for BOTH of you. Good job, sister.

PS.....don't kill him...yet. :-)