Friday, July 30, 2010

59...58...57...56...55 more minutes until I start the next hour

I'm not doing too well taking it one day at a time, so I decided I'd give Kathy's advice a whirl (at least, I think it was Kathy)...

I'm trying to take it one hour at a time. Struggling with that, too.

Seems like all I do these days is cry. I'm getting good at crying in public. Problem is, I can't seem to stop it. I think about what I need to do - I cry; I talk about what I need to do - I cry; I talk about anything - you guessed it, I cry. I'm not happy about that turn of events, either. Ugh! This is not my normal persona or my normal method of operation. What gives with that?

Ron finally got in touch with a friend of his who is a builder by trade and he's supposed to come by the house today or tomorrow to check out the bathroom and see what needs to be done - or what can be done. I think the shower is probably out, but I think I can get some tension rods and hang shower curtains around the tub and with the transfer seat, Ron should be able to bathe sitting there. I need to find a shower attachment that will hook on the faucet - or else, I just need to switch out the faucet to one that will accept a shower attachment. I hope that will work, otherwise I don't know how to get him bathed.

I went up to the rehab center yesterday to work on transfers with him in and out of my car and to see how he does in the bathroom. He did great there. Of course, they have the handicap rails all around the toilet and in the shower. Great. I'm happy as a clam. That's not REAL life. Our bathroom is not set up that way. It's better than a lot of bathrooms because I did take wheelchair use into consideration when we laid it out, but I didn't take amputation into consideration. {sigh} Stupid woman! Ron was telling me all the things "I" needed to do to get the bathroom taken care of and I just started crying (of course, I did - LOL). I said I can't even get people to call me back after I leave detailed messages of what I need.

I know that people don't know what to do or what to offer, but when specific people are asked point blank to do something specific and they don't, I just give up. After Keith moves in this weekend I won't have to worry about a couple of my requests (climbing a ladder to change light bulbs) but there are a couple of other things that I'm not sure even Keith can do. We'll see. He's not a carpenter. He's a computer guy.

Maybe I just expect too much. Probably.

My stepson (Aaron) was over at the house a couple of weeks ago to help Keith move a futon to the basement and I had a little (one-sided) discussion with him about how he's let his dad down and let me down by not following through with things or putting out any effort to check on his dad. I have to say that he took it like a man and didn't offer any excuses - just admitted that he'd been very negligent and he was sorry. He's been up to see Ron at least three times and has mowed my yard for me once and finished up what I started another time. Kudos to him - and I have let him know how much I appreciate his turn-around.


Pat said...

Those bars are fairly cheap to install on the shower walls for stability I think. Maybe Ron's builder friend can do things at cost. I'm keeping my fingers crossed!

I can't remember who Keith is...Ron's son? Is this a temporary thing with him moving in? Maybe he'll be "guilted" into helping more around the house. Here's hoping.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Computer guy can go on-line and get very detailed instructions on how to install safety rails in the bathroom. Just make sure you hit a stud so it won't pull out of the wall. If I had my choice I would do away with our tub and just have a large walk-in shower with a bench seat in it. I always stub my toe getting in and out....

So sorry you are feeling overwhelmed. Just know that it really will all come together, no matter how helpless you are feeling.

Kathy said...

It was me....and if an hour is too much...try a half hour or 5 minutes or even one minute...whatever works for you. It will all be okay. One moment at a time.

Keith said...

It's semi-temporary. My moving in, that is. I'm coming back to help financially, emotionally, and physically. Dad would like more company around the house and I feel like I kind of need to be there. I'll be installing those rails just as soon as mom gets them.

TinaM said...

I'm sorry you have been so down :( It must be frustrating... Hopefully the sun will come out for you soon :)
It sounds like Keith will be a big help!
Hang in there.

Silver Strands said...

Oh Teresa ... it's SO tough. Hang in there sweetie.

skippymom said...

You'll do this girlie - my own Wonder Woman. :)

You told me how much of a help Keith will be [on the phone/via email] and I know that he will be wonderful to have home. Thanks Keith!

Hope the party was a success tonight - [knowing you it was!]

Best thoughts coming your way. PS we need to talk about Amy's arrangement - gorgeous. Perhaps I can help from this end.

Love to you.

Michaela said...

Hi Girl, you do have a load on your shoulders right now. It seems like you are feeling pretty overwhelmed. I really hope you can get some helpers. Praying that you can feel comforted in some way. Im glad Ron's health is stabilized. Big hugs to Michaela

Marla said...

I wish I lived close by and could help you.