Monday, July 21, 2008

I am exhausted

I'm not quite sure why I'm exhausted, but I am. I think I slept fairly well last night. My sugar was up a bit this morning and it may still be up. I'm sitting in the recliner in Ron's room and trying very hard to keep my eyes open. I can't focus on the page in front of me so not sure if it's fatigue or high sugar stopping me from focusing. Or, it could be an optical migraine which has no pain but keeps me from being able to see clearly.

Ron is better today and because he's better, he's grouchy. He is fighting the catheter, fighting the IV, fighting the foot things that squeeze his calves to prevent blood clots, and anything else that he can think of to complain about. There's not much I can do to help him and I have to admit I've lost my patience with him a couple of times today. I just get comfortable and he wants me to get up and get something, fix something, or move something. Sure - I can do it; I've got nothing better to do.

The doctors are agreeable that he's able to probably go home tomorrow. I have no problem with that but I still want him to see OT/PT to assess how he does in transfers and to show them his weaknesses. His foot is not infected but since the hole is bigger I just don't know how he could be any "less" on it than he already is. Dr. Heady said maybe a rehab facility would be an option for him but I'm sure Ron would fight that.

I want to see about an overhead trapeze so he doesn't push down on the bed with his foot when trying to move up higher in the bed. This has always been a concern for me and I'm constantly moving his foot or moving the pillows he's supposed to have his foot propped up on.

I want a sleep study to see if he's getting enough oxygen because the nephrologist says he may not be getting enough oxygen so the carbon dioxide builds up and triggers the kidney failure.

Dr. Alvarado did order the sleep study so hopefully it will happen tonight. She also ordered the consult with the hematologist so I hope he will come in tonight or tomorrow. PT is supposed to come sometime today too but since it's already 4:00 I'm not sure that will happen. Personally, I don't care if he stays until Wednesday if that's what it takes. I want all the bases covered before he goes home so we don't have a repeat performance in six weeks. I'm getting tired of all of this.

I'd like to have some time to actually rest and recuperate during this time frame where I'm supposed to be on short term disability. I really wanted to have some time for me, which I know is very selfish of me but I think I do need it.

I'm glad that Amy is there but I don't want to ask her to do too much. She has her hands full with work/school/Isaiah. The combination of those is a full load. Thank God though that she lives with us. Not sure what I'd have done sometimes if I'd been living there alone with Ron. I know she wants her own place but there's nothing wrong with them staying with us as long as it's mutually beneficial and OK with both parties. I know that Ron loves having Isaiah there.

But, I digress...

I lost a bit more weight but gained back a pound. I'm still very happy with the weight loss up to this point so I can't complain. I'd like to lose about 10 more pounds in the six weeks that I'll be off work. No matter what I lose between now and then will be a blessing and rejoiced over. Ron says I'm having too good of a time putting on things and saying "oh, this is too big!" LOL! I have given away stacks of clothes and I have several things to put on Craigslist.

Ron is watching TV so maybe I'll lay my head down for just a little bit...

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