Tuesday, September 23, 2008


Are you ever just antsy and you don’t know why? Yesterday and today have been some of those days for me. I know I’m a bit tired and I am very tired of taking sleeping medication to get to sleep, and then pain medication half-way through the night to get back to sleep. I wake up feeling drugged but not rested. I broke down and bought a new mattress a couple of months ago thinking that would help. It did not. I even tried the first one for about three weeks and swapped it out for a second one. It doesn’t seem to be any better. I thought as I lost weight I’d not have as much trouble sleeping but I guess that is not to be. I wonder if it will get better as my weight continues to go down.

Yesterday I didn't want to be at work and there was no special reason or anything I could put my finger on. I think I just want to sleep. If I had lots of PTO left I’d go home and go to bed. As if that would solve anything… It won’t but maybe I’ll feel more rested when I get up.

I only had one cup of coffee yesterday morning and again this morning to see if that helps. I had on a new top yesterday and it drove me nuts. It has an elastic band in the middle of it, not quite at the waist and not quite empire, and it was annoying the dickens out of me. I’d cut it out but then the blouse would look awkward. It ties in the front and is supposed to look like it’s a blouse and a jacket. I ran my fan to help distract me from feeling like I was choking to death in the stupid thing (I know I wasn't suffocating, but my mind was not happy). When I got home I ripped that thing off so fast my head was spinning. I told Ron that I didn't know if I'd ever wear it again. He said it looked really nice but I don't think I can handle looking nice if I'm uncomfortable.

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