Thursday, September 25, 2008

Irritated beyond belief

I know Ron doesn't mean to sound like he does and he doesn't mean to question me like he does, but it irritates the dickens out of me when I answer a question and he waits a little while and then asks it a different way. Or, he'll have someone else check on it. Or, he'll try to go around behind me to find out for himself.

Sometimes he forgets. I'll give him that. He forgets a lot (like today - scheduled carpet cleaners but can't remember who, when, or how much - more on that later) and I'm really trying to be patient and not let the repeated questions bother me. His hands have about quit working and he's having some identity issues. His hands are part of what makes him who he is - a musician. It's got to be terrible to watch your body slowly die off and quit working when you're still young enough to know that it's doing it.

Tonight it was CSI. He's been waiting for the season premiere since May. I read him an article a couple of weeks ago about Laurence Fishburne taking over for William Petersen and Warrick's character dying. I told him the premiere was going to be October 9. He wanted to know why and I didn't know.

This past week CBS has had a lot of premieres so he assumed that CSI would be tonight. I told him that it was not and that we'd had this discussion more than once (seriously - several times). While I was watching the 2-hour premiere of Survivor he asked me if I'd record it. I said it was recording and why. He said he wanted me to fast forward so he could watch the beginning of CSI.

So I asked him if he was having trouble believing that the premiere wasn't on tonight. He said it wasn't that he didn't believe me. I asked him again - do you think I'm not telling you the truth??? He finally said that he didn't believe I was correct and he didn't want to miss the beginning of the show. I just put the remote down and left the room (missing the end of Survivor, by the way) because I was so ticked. He started to say something else and I cut him off by saying he's done this to me before and I didn't need it.

For sure I've not been the most patient person in the world these past few days. I've had a lot on my mind and on my plate (work, home, church stuff) but I've done my best to keep my cool. I came out to the PC so I could blog (here I am). After about 20 minutes he came out and said he was sorry.

I said that was fine, I appreciated the apology, but he does this to me all the time. Just because he forgets something doesn't mean that I've forgotten or that it didn't happen (conversations, appointments, where people are, etc). I told him that if I didn't know something, or I was unsure of something, I would find out - but I HAD ALREADY FOUND IT OUT FOR HIM. He had just forgotten so assumed that I couldn't possibly be telling him the truth.

I am sure it has to be frustrating to him, too. I don't know the answer or how to fix it. I'm still struggling with how to get the correct medication in him at the correct time and the correct day.

Now - on to the carpets...

We have our little dog at our groomer's house and she is house breaking her. Ron is unable to take her out and I am unable to cope with cleaning up dog pee off the carpet. She has got to be crate trained at night and for when we are not home. We could not do it and Samantha said she would. It's not cheap but it's a better alternative than getting rid of her. Ron misses her.

Today I asked him to call carpet cleaners and get estimates. He called two (I think). One was over $300 and I think that was partly because he said we had 1500 sq ft to clean. In my dreams... I don't have that much period, let alone that much carpeted. So I told him to call a different one and tell them two bedrooms and a living room. That estimate is $130 or so. Much better. So - when are they coming? He doesn't know. Who did you call? He doesn't know.

I look at caller ID most days to see who called while I"m at work. I see a number and ask what they wanted. He doesn't know. So, do I call them tomorrow and ask what they wanted? Who knows...

I think I'm tired. I need a break. I know - I've said that. I really need for Ron to get better so I don't have to worry so much all the time. A guy at church prayed for us last night and said that he believed that we'd gone through more than anyone could possibly even imagine and I believe that is right. I honestly don't know what the lesson is that we're supposed to learn from all of this but I'm sure that God has one - for someone. It may not even be for us but He's using us for someone else's benefit. That's OK. I'd just like to know when it's going to be over and did we pass.

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